CASS.KIA.My Own Story

God gave me a kind heart, but not for people to abuse.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

I am so angry. So angry with them, so angry with myself.

I was deadset on not working on weekends, and I already told her several times that I do not wish to work on weekends.
Then she still call me and plead with me to work on weekends. And I agreed coz she sounded so freaking desperate.
The way she treats me on normal days, how can she even have the face to come ask me for such a favour. And when she asked me, I reminded her AGAIN that I do not want to work on weekends, and she still pleaded with me.

Bullshit.

I don't think I want to work anymore, maybe another couple of weeks, until I really can't take it anymore.

Anyway, I went out with Angela to watch 'The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus' on Thursday. Still got student priced tickets! (:
The movie was so abstract that I couldn't really get the whole point of it.... is there even a moral of the story besides not to play games with the devil?

Well, we had a fun time since we haven't seen each other in quite some time, like we used to back in the school days. Used to see each other every weekday, and in the hostel we see each other all the time!

Okay, back to talking about work...

I can't stand people who come in asking for specialist. OH HELLO?!?!? The list of services the clinic provides is printed outside, listed one by one! And it's a GP/Family doctor!!! If you freaking want a specialist go to the HOSPITAL.

I can't stand people who complain about waiting time and ask us to rush stuff. If you're so rushed, come earlier la! If not then sit there and wait like everyone is. I don't freaking care if you don't need medicines. Everyone took a queue number, and so did you, so sit there on your big arse and wait.

I can't stand the seniors who seem to have so much time on their hands, and still yell at me to be faster simply coz they don't want to help me. They even have time to go out, buy food, and eat the food. I, on the other hand, can't even find the time to drink water properly.

I can't stand people who scold me for the things I do not do. Or scold me when they aren't being a role model.
Stupid people.

What is wrong with people?!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Okay... Today something bullshit happened at work.

There was this guy who came and complained, really angrily, in my face, that he has been waiting for his medical report for 3 weeks. Then he said nobody called him, and he's very unhappy about the poor service we have here at the clinic.

After that, I collected his slip from him and went to find his report from behind, and then my senior E was there so I told her about the man. Only she is enough to deal with such people. Plus, she's tall, scary, and has a high chin... Almost everything required to be of equal standing with angry old man.

Apparently, calling people for their reports was the duty of this other senior D from another shift, so we actually have no idea. After passing him his report, telling him that there has been some miscommunication, he proceeded to question us about said 'miscommunication'. I gave up. And left. So E dealt with it and passed his report to Dr. Nan to take a quick look. Nothing was wrong with the report so it didn't take long.

But then later he said he wants to write in. And all that sort of stuff.

I was thinking to myself. That DOM was abit too much lah. If people say need to wait say... 1 week to call you, and they don't call you in 2 weeks... And you are feeling it's urgent, then CALL THEM BACK LA! To err is human what... there's no such thing as perfection.

It's his own business to not check, then storm down here and scold people... Wahlau.
Sumore, he want to write in to complain, then what good does he get? If someone gets fired, does it earn him anything? NO!
Not like we can pay for his scan for him right?

Sheesh man.

Makes me so pissed thinking about it.

The more I don't feel like working anymore.

iFrustrated

Thursday, January 28, 2010

I like my job, and I don't like it at the same time.

The work itself is interesting and educational.
I love one of the doctors there, Dr. Nanthini.

I don't really like the seniors.
I don't like the working schedule.

I was made to work from 2 to 11pm on a Sunday.
And I don't have much free time anymore.
Even my parents are getting annoyed with the working on weekends.

I was actually looking for a job that only last through weekdays.

So I'm going to hold for another month, and after that if they want me to work on weekends I'll probably leave. And I hope the people there don't stalk me.

Well, right now I still don't have anything that can put a smile on my face without fail.

So if in the case someone makes me want to cry, I don't know what to think about to distract myself. ):

I am SO out of luck. Still waiting for my lucky star to come to me.

This happened on Tuesday

Today,

I worked overtime at work today as a clinical assistant. I was supposed to go home at 1pm, and was kept back till after 3.30pm.

During those 2.5 hours, I did these things all by myself:

Queue returning patients.
(I had to register their names, then look for their patient card in the mountainloads of cards there is. And then if stamp and write the date and time.)

Register new patients
(I had to get their IC and contact number, type everything in the computer, print tags, get a new card and write info into the card, then stamp the date and time)

Collect the patient cards of patients who the doctor has seen, place MC for signing, collect signed MCs.

Typing the names of medications prescribed into the computer. Do note the doctors do not have the best handwriting. In fact, they're almost illegible. Almost.

Prepare the medicines for each patient. Packed, labelled, and instructed.

Collect payment

My senior, was busy talking to patients about some other stuff, if not she's just keying in information for insurance claims.

There were only two people at the counter: Senior, and Me.

It's amazing that I can do so much. I've been there a day short of a week, and am able to do tasks at the level of 'new' staff that joined the clinic before me. At times, I can do more procedures than they can.

I was made to work from 2pm to 11pm on Sunday. A last minute call. At 1.40pm.
She wanted me to work the same on the coming Sunday.
I told her I can't.

Now she wants me to work on Saturday at the same time.

She called her HR person, and I overheard her saying that I was covering for her.
****

After 2 more staff came in, she let me go.
Then she called the newbies (my friend, and I), for a little meeting thing.

And she was obviously trying to hint at how inefficient and not up-to-par today.

Which made me pissed inside, obviously. Because I was working my ass off after my shift, and I had to handle everything! While she either talks to patients or keys in insurance claims.
Being a newbie, less than a week old, she expects me to do everything like drinking water?
I skipped my freaking lunch because of it!
Not only did she not say that I worked hard, she had to hint that I was inefficient.

Now she's giving us two weeks to learn everything about the medicines in the clinic.

When I wanted to cry, I tried thinking about the person I like.
It made me want to cry more.

FML.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

I'm back to blogging here, been so long since the last post?

Looking for a job now, and I am really pissed with the world right now for the ignorance. Sometimes.

Primary 6 gathering was quite fun. I'm pretty glad they don't see me as the can-bully-person anymore, like I used to be. I think most of them don't know that my primary school days were a nightmare. But now that it's over, I guess as adults now we will learn to respect each other more.

I keep telling myself that it's okay that he's left. Not say left, left... But not in the same channel anymore now that he's in NS. Sometimes, it's okay when I don't think about him too much, and I want to let it go. But when I start thinking about him, it's like a part of me don't want to let it go.

What the shit lahs.

Can't things be as easy as let's just take the opportunity and see where it goes?

Urgh. Feel so awful right now. And so alone.
But yes Gel, I know you're there.
It's just I don't know what to do.

I let myself waste a year of my life, even when I knew I was wasting it.
And I wasted the 18th year of my life...
Supposedly the year where everyone is supposed to live it up!

But then again, I already tried my best in not wasting that year.
Compared to my other peers, I don't have national exams... Why am I not living it up!
And no matter what I did, I reflected, was supposed to give me at least something.
I ended up with nothing.

I love being in NUS High School.
But I'm happy I graduated too.
I just don't want to waste the year.

Sigh.

Life sucks.

Spyromaniac

Sunday, January 3, 2010

I got myself an Xbox game a few days ago, The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragons

I was introduced to cute little Spyro when I was a primary school kid, when my friend was playing it on her Gameboy Advance. It was amazing what a little purple dragon could do in the game, fly, breathe fire, and stuff like that.

But a Gameboy Advance can only bring Spyro that far. On the little screen he was just some pixels and a jagged one.

But what if you put Spyro on a big TV screen? Awesome.
He isn't the pixelated little purple dragon, but a shiny one! And his fire feels like it really burns.

The only thing about TV Spyro is that he still has that shocked eyes.
Makes him look a little cartoonish.

Anyway I've been reading Sherrilyn Kenyon's 'Dance With the Devil'.
It's a book about a Dark Hunter called Zarek.
And he's such a lucky person even though his earlier life sucked worse than hell.
Good people deserve good things I guess...
Sometimes bad people do too, if they have a heart to care for people.

I found a gallery of fanart on deviantart for the Dark Hunters.
Zarek looks really handsome.

^-^

Oh, and Starhub should stop advertising iPhone. It makes me sad.

In any case, Theo's going NS tmr. I'll miss you.///

Life is... unfair

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Shall repeat this on my blog (I don't know if I have ever typed this on my blog):
Living in an unfair world doesn't give you the right to be unfair towards others.

This is the only quote that received two good reviews on facebook, and the others never got that many likes.

I guess that is because people feel that life is really unfair and would do anything to tell the world to stop doing that to them. But to do that, everyone has to cooperate and be fair towards others.

My life is also filled with unfairness.

How we all work so hard for something yet never got what we were promised.
How we all loved, but were never loved back.
How we all shared, but were never shared with.
How we were all heard, but never listened to.

A heart can only be shattered that many times.
But then again, it also heals.
If there is enough time.

I find it funny why people who get second place in stuff, always remain second place.
I think that it's bad luck.

It's been more than a year since I last heard 'I love you' in real life.
I only just realised.

The wells of tears have dried up, for they have nowhere to belong.
The beating heart has stopped, for they have no reason to go on.
The mouth that has stopped smiling, for they have nothing to warm.
Those eyes that have closed, so that they do not have to see the sorry state the world is in.

Cya.
I'm disappointed.

Whaddup.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I am bored enough to make myself restudy physics.

And everyone knows it's not my favourite subject, and that I suck at it.

Really, can anyone get more bored than this?

Also, getting pissed.

Anyway, I have a new best buddy. But it doesn't overlap with my human best buddies, because it isn't human. It's my MioTV! Okay, pardon me for getting excited about it, but it's the first time I'm actually getting TV programmes that aren't channel 8, 5, U, or okto, or CNA.

I could just watch those programmes all day long if I want to. =)

Oh, and youtube is still cool.

You know your life sucks when...

Monday, December 28, 2009

I woke up this morning at 10.30am. My Dad just came home from swimming or whatever shit he's doing, and scolds me. He says he can't believe that I actually slept till SO late, and that it isn't good for me. He also says that he now knows why I am so weak and fall ill all the time, and that it makes me a lazy person.

Well, I slept at 2am last night, Great Daddy. According to what you said last time, about getting 8 hours of sleep every day, I wasn't being unhealthy like what you say now. 2am plus 8 hours is actually 10am, so I assume here now that sleeping an extra half hour is being lazy? Oh, and I hope he actually realizes that it is actually THE HOLIDAYS?! *rolls eyes*

On top of that, I told my mum about it when she returned home after having dinner with her friends. She brushed it off. But I was being really sad so I remained quiet and dark like I always do when I'm upset, and that is because my parents don't really want to know about what I am upset about. My mum walks by my room and saw me being dark and gloomy and doing my own business on my com. And you know what? She freaking got angry on me. She said I made her angry because I am being upset about what Dad said to me.

WhatTheShit.

Am I not even entitled to my own feelings anymore? Has the world really come to this point where I cannot be upset because someone caused me to be upset, but can be upset only because someone is happy about upsetting me? My Dad is being ridiculous here for calling me weak and lazy, and complaining about me waking up at 10.30am on a holiday! And now I am being upset and hurt because that is all my Dad does, continuously complaining about me like I've never done anything right. But I can't feel upset about it because being upset about it makes my Mum angry. And by the way, my Mum never sides me but enjoys telling me how every ridiculous thing is my fault and that I should stop being upset because I 'brought it upon myself'.

In other words, my Mum doesn't allow me to be upset, but she does nothing to console me or anything of that sort when I am upset.

Speaking of falling ill, my Dad is referring to my every now and then sneezing and sniffles and that. My Dad gave me his sinusitis genes. He has nose problems all the time. I have nose problems since young. Recently, whenever I'm sneezing like I have a cold, he says I'm weak. Last year in hostel, I only fell sick once, and never missed a day of school. This year, I fell sick many times. The only difference, I go home everyday on public transport. Guess where the germs came from? And who complains everyday that sending me to school is a chore?

Actually, I never missed a day of school. My MCs always fall on weekends, or days where I absolutely have to go to school (last day of MC).

Oh, my Dad's taking half day leave in the morning everyday from today onwards for the entire week.

Hi to hellhole.

Zzz

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Today is a terrible day.

For one, I think the air is extremely filthy because for the entire day I have been breathing abnormally and I can feel it. It is very annoying.
It rained, but then the air outside was foggy or smoky or something. Just dirty.

And my body tires. I don't know why.

Also, today Theo is away in Malaysia on a trip. I will be dragged to Malaysia on the 21st. No internet, no friends. But then again I should already be used to that.

On top of that, my mum happily told me she will be out having dinner with her friends. Which means that I have no dinner, and also that I have to eat alone.
And eat alone I did.

Plus, my internet is back to its sucky self again. It was fine a few days ago, but my Dad had to go pull the cable out just to put in the microfilter, and everything just died. Again. And I took the filter out and put the jack back, but it doesn't really work that well. How sucky.

Sighs.

Oh, and I saw my previous piano teacher while having dinner. And she looked at me for like, a second? And then she just walked away. WTH.

Ohmytians, my life really sucks.

Sigh.

:(