Oh damnit. I am such a freaking failure sometimes. No, wrong, most of the time. Making people happy by stupid smiling. Yea, even when I feel like a mutant inside, I still smile like a bozo. Stupid me. I should just put on that don't-you-dare-mess-with-me face and scare everybody away like BOO!
But then again, people that really know me and really make me happy, sadly, are few. And I don't want to scare people away. The only freaking problem is that I can never keep them happy. Or this stupid, selfish me, is just hoping to see them smile like a silly wonkzor. I hate myself.
Why do people push me around all the time? Maybe I'm just too stupid. You know, they say, "Oh that freaking stupid girl or wadever she is, let's just totally pwn her." Ok, maybe they don't. They just see me as a entertain when usage is needed, chuck when her service is not required. Hahs. Beastly people.
Oh, and some of you out there think I'm useless. You know what? I so totally agree with you smart guys. Maybe all I know is to upset people by typing stuff like this on my blog. Maybe you guys think, hey what's she so angry about? Isn't that what she's made for? Nothing!?! Lemme tell you, cool dudes, I bite too. Scared now? Probably not. Who'd be intimidated by this declawed little kitty here? Damnit.
One thing, I hate always being so serious. But this time, on my post, I mean it! I mean, look if you had that someone that you'd talk to, you wouldn't feel good if all you talk about is proper, full of sense, serious, factual, political stuffs. Wouldn't it be so much more fun to talk about anything under the sun? Like I could pretend to be something wonky and you could pretend to be something wonky too, and we could fool around with silly words here and there and end up laughing our heads off after that?
Grr....I just hate it when you try to be all HYPED UP and try to talk about all those cute and zesty stuff, and then someone just says, "uh huh." Like OMGWTH? Dude, can you at least be interested in whatever I'm crapping about? Man... People who say that only know how to do formal, political stuffs. Like some big boss, bossing everybody around... And when the secretary comes in saying, "Here you go, your coffee. Made according to your specifications, extra sugar, a pinch of salt, topped with freshly picked mint leaves from the backyard, and i got a passing bee to sell me some honey." And the damned bossy boss replies, "uh huh. Go away now, shoo." Can you even imagine that?
Damn myself. why can't people be all smiley when there's nothing going wrong? Why pick something to be disturbed about if people can choose not to be disturbed? Why can't people immerse themselves in the land of infinite joys!? Well, I can. I just want to bring a certain someone over to bounce on the bouncy clouds, to be silly and wear silly balloon hats, and all that!? just be crazy and talk more about less serious stuffs than the serious stuffs. It's better than gaming, it's better than napping, it's better than wasting your time infront of the computer playing DOS games, and it's better than what your hormones drive you towards! (Hentai infromation alert, but oops, you've just read it.) Ahh... What's the freaking use of bouncing around by myself. You people will NEVER know how it feels like lacking the love you get from siblings! Those people out there with siblings, you guys are really lucky. Really.
Goodbye... Now I'm really checking out the way to the abyss.