Don't comment on my grammar usage. It doesn't matter, this is not an essay.

So today i went to Gel's house, which Mel was there too. We baked cookies. Loads of them. Then Gel painted nails for Mel, and she pasted swarovski crystals onto my thumbs. More specifically, the nails on my thumbs. They are very sparkly right now.

*dazzles*

After which, I went to buy acne plasters, coz there are two hugeass nodules/cysts thingies on my face. These bad skin never leaves me. I can forget about ever being pretty. The best thing to do is to see a doctor, but seriously, not going to for now. All these acne scars from so many years past... They aren't going to magic off my face.

Reaching home, was made to shower then dragged out so that Dad can get a watch for himself. Which he did at Compasspoint. Can't stand all the lies he spoke. Gah. Whatever.

Then ate at the Hougang area. They over-steamed the fish... so what was supposed to be nice, wasn't nice at all.

See, I told you. There's never been a smooth day. Sometime in the day, some thing is bound to screw up. Sigh. And i totally wasn't willing for these kind of random stuff to happen. I was actually praying for a good day today.

And tomorrow, and many more after that.

I realised that when I want to know more about something regarding NUS, I have to spend a long time, open many many tabs on the browser, and in the end, be unable to find the information I need.

In this case today, I was trying to figure out why I still can't apply for the LPP. Anybody knows why? The applications for freshmen AY2010/11 was stated to be "around 27 May". But seriously, a university giving vague information?

That really, really, annoys me.

DOES ANYBODY HAVE INFORMATION ABOUT THE LPP?????

Oh, I recently also got a stethoscope from my Dad. Coz I use his credit card, and then he pays for it. Obviously he knows, he actually went with me to get one. Been having fun with it. Listening around for the breath sounds and heartbeats.

I feel like such an inanimate object right now.

Yesterday, was requested to stay till 4pm, and she turned up at 5pm.
Today, she request me to stay till freaking 6pm!

What's more suay, one of the staff took MC today, so it's a really tough thing to do.
It's not that I can't stay, it's that I'm not supposed to stay! Yes, I still get paid, but it's about doing something fair to me.

Her excuse was that some Dr wanted her to stay till 6pm, and that she is also waiting for a delivery to come in. One thing I learnt about excuses, if it's genuine, then only ONE reason is sufficient. You don't have to keep coming up with shitloads of excuses.

But let's just assume that it's true. So a doctor wants you to stay then you stay? Other people then don't need to care la? Sengkang branch die also not your business? I tired like shit also not your business? Some more, the deal was 4pm, always. You're always late, how is that fair to me? Now somebody want you to stay then you stay! I bet other staff can handle things as well, THIS branch is the busiest branch, ok?

And is a delivery more important than a human? More important than me? You can just ask someone else to accept the delivery or something. Pass a message on. If you stay to wait for a delivery, then I need to go home to wait for a call lorh!

I freaking hate this lateness.

Fortunately, the person who took leave is coming back tomorrow, so I don't need to wait for this person before I go home anymore. except for Friday. Shit Friday.

I don't get why anyone should be late for work. Maybe one or two minutes, fine. But for 15 minutes over? Seriously?

Urgh. So screwy.

So anyway, I didn't stay till 6pm. Senior chased me home, told me to just let them die if they can't handle. Anyway, there was still her to help. So I got to go home early. Aiyah, she say 6pm, will be here at 6.30pm de la! Stupid. Freaking tired like shit can!!!

I realised that I'm the sort of person who will screw up badly in the initial stages, and get very good in the long run. Too bad society is too short-sighted. My clinic had enough faith in me to keep me, and now they have a good staff on the team.

So what if my results sucked for let's say... Chem equilibrium? I can do it fine right now. And if you were to ask me to take the exam again, different paper, I bet I can do loads better than my results then.

But it's no use. The grade is already printed on paper. And no matter how good the reamarks for the module are... The grade is still too sucky for people to see through that I can no troubles with it now.

The society should get glasses!

Ah, whatever. I don't die that easily. Things that happen are sufficient to hurt me, not enough to kill me. I survived 9 childhood years of perseverance, 2 years of drilling it into me as a value in life, and then the next few years putting it to the test.

I am able to withstand so much that some people use me as a shield. When people know I try the best for them, they end up using me. For all sorts of reasons. Always been the one who can tahan a lot, but never one that shines.

I know as a human we can't take blows all the time and still remain standing. There's a limit. Everytime I hit mine, it just keeps growing. But I also need someone to be my shield.

That's what I mean.

Who is my advocate?

There is no point in me being an advocate for myself. Because that isn't the real definition of an advocate.


On a side note, I watched the season finale of Grey's Anatomy today. It was such an exciting and awesome episode. Very thrilling, very emotional, very dramatic.

Nice.

I still love Cristina Yang =) Want to be like her: HARDCORE!

Amjay stop being late! I can only leave when you're here, so don't think that coz I can stay means you can come later!!! I HAVE TO stay, not I want to stay! Let me go home on time pretty damn please?!

Mosquitoes leave me alone please!! Stop coming so close to me all the time, and get out of my house!!!

Ulcer stop growing liao! Get off my mouth and disappear!!

Today, out of curiosity, I went to read my 2009 diary. It wasn't exactly a 2009 diary, coz I started writing in like... April 2009. Also, I don't write everyday.

Reading the diary was like reading a storybook. There were of course, many things happening during that time. But there was only one main focus throughout that whole year. One person. And that was THAT person, let's just name him Eddie.

Okay, most of you should know who that is... Just that I don't know how many weird strangers... By strangers I mean people I don't know... come to visit this blog, so I will change the name. You guys should know who Eddie is la.

He's been always there, even if he never realised. He was probably the most important guy in my entire year last year, even if I was perhaps nothing much to him. But I'm grateful, because he provided me with a focus for that year. Even if I didn't get what I wanted, wished/hoped for, I bet my life wouldn't be any better without him. If everything worked out perfect, I wouldn't be lonely now, but life is never fair for me so I am not "not lonely" now.

Currently, I think he's about 80% forgotten about me liao. Never really talks. Wait, he never talks. I care, but he doesn't. So everything is so screwed up right now. I wonder if I have lost a friend. I wonder if whatever I did doesn't mean anything to him.

There was also a post in my diary saying that I don't want to think back next time and not be able to find something to be happy about.

I still haven't found a solution to that.

I know you guys will say Aiyah, be happy with the little joys in life. But seriously, if you work that hard to get just little joys, something is seriously wrong. Something messed up, screwed up. Because for every few little joys, there must be something like a decent, or huge joy.

There was only one thing last year that I can consider a huge joy. When I was labelled as a girlfriend, but that turned out to be a lie. So whatever joy, it was a lie. The most it can become is a little joy. I don't think I will be happy next time to know that I spent a year liking a guy who eventually forgot about me. Joy is when I can say that to my kid, and that guy is his daddy.

But nope, not gonna happen.

I also realise nowadays that I am always doing more than what my duties are set to be. Or I have been doing so. Which might also lead to why I believe I can do more than what I am told to do, yet nobody knows that. Problem with papers again.

Why the hell am I doing more work than my supposed senior (she worked at the clinic about 2 months more than me)? All she does is to push the work to me. I can't leave until my shift replacement comes in, because those juniors won't let me leave, because then they have nobody to do the dirty work of telling bad news to patients, or booking appts, or disturbing the doctor, stuff like that, you know?! I am going to leave at the end of June. Are they going to die like that and lock me at the clinic so I can't leave?

They have gotta learn to be on their own, because I won't be staying forever. In fact, I am going to leave and they are supposed to replace me somehow when I'm gone for studies. Lol, they had to find TWO people to replace me.

The supposed senior actually told me that she was very tired today, when I told her to leave me alone coz I was really tired and was woozing already. Ok, seriously? She wakes up at 1pm everyday to come work at 2pm! I wake up at 7.20am and work till like 4, and she tells me that SHE is tired?!

There has gotta be more to life than just people asking me to do their odd jobs. Is there actually someone who doesn't need me to do dirty job, yet want me to be around? Or is lots of people trying to clear me off their schedule when they dun need me?

As you know, HFMD is on the rise. Clinic is out of such medicine coz of the rise. But sadly, we had two cases of HFMD, requiring three bottles of Iso. One of the patients was really kind, and we will contact her for the medication tomorrow when it arrives. The other patient is renowned to be a badass, has tattoos all over, and ALWAYS wants to get his way.

As usual, my very kind juniors and supposed senior shoved this duty of serving badass man to me. The stare he gave me was freaking scary, I tell you. I mean, what can I do if we have no Iso, I can't magick one out for you! And he kept asking me, "So how do you want me to get it? Do you think it's very appropriate for me to come collect it another day?"

Like uh, hello??!? What else do you want me to do? Send it to your doorstep? I mean, yea that's possible, but then that gets personal. So I had to discuss with Dr. Yvonne for what to do, in the end she wrote a prescription and prayed that pharmacies have it. But chances are low, I think?

GAH.

Not only that, some patient's mum rushed us like we weren't doing anything. In actual fact, she's only been out for a couple of minutes and we wanted to double check one of Dr Yvonne's prescriptions. Because we don't think we have such a thing, and in the end, we really don't have such a thing. So she had to write a prescription that takes some time... And then the momma got pissed at why we were so slow.

Seriously! Do you want to get screwed up meds or proper meds? Her excuse was that her kid (which is sorta like, 11 years old?) is feeling unwell and she wants to bring him home ASAP. Hello? You're in a clinic, other than the staff, DO YOU SEE ANYONE FEELING WELL HERE?

Patience la people! What the hell is wrong with people!!!

I really want to cry at the state of today.

My senior leaves me with these... juniors who can't run when these patients expect us to fly. And I can't even fly. And that freaking drives me crazy when these patients don't be patient and everyone says they're rushing and we're trying our best. Or at least, I'm trying my best! I can't even eat lunch until after 2 or later!

And my shift is supposed to end at 2pm, but now it's 4! And my shift takeover person doesn't always come on time. And I'm FREAKING TIRED! I didn't sign up for this hectic shit.

I want some peace in my life! SOME PEACE IN MY LIFE!! Maybe just a period of time where things are smooth, and not making me think and worry and stress myself. Where people don't yell at me anymore.

Recently there's been a stupid number of mosquitoes. I stay on the 15th floor and still get quite a number of those bugs around nowadays. And no, we do not have breeding grounds at home. We checked.

Anyway, been pretty slack with the net nowadays. Got sick of going onto facebook, doing the same thing over and over again every single day, yet get nowhere with those games. Plus, I seldom get notifications or requests or stuff like that. So life on the internet has been pretty boring.

So I'm back to playing Tales of Vesperia on my Xbox360. Seems like I'm almost finishing the story liao. Sad. But then I can level up all my characters next time and stuff, so it won't get too boring.

Really tired these few days. Gotta work till 4 everyday until Desiree comes back from Philippines. And when I don't work till 4, I have driving lessons. Gah. I am so tired! Totally no rest from 8 to 4 plus, until I get back home. Working at the clinic really drains you out, starting from your mind. You gotta be quick, fast, responsive, alert all the time. Cannot rest and stuff like that. No breaks.

Sobs.

Just get me to school already! Let me study and toil through the 4 years so I can go on, move on to do what I really want to do. I hate this temporary period. I mean, yea, I get to work and earn money and work with doctors... But I need to do more stuff! And stuff that can develop me as a person, stuff that can be applied to the future!

Gah. Tired.

How many times in life have you ever been so pissed at the state of things that you just exclaim that out loud or in your mind, "Aww, COME ON!!"

Coz I think everybody has been in such a situation where you are that close to getting what you want and then... Oh, you can't get it coz you missed just one teeny bit of stuff. Like my Biology. It's my favourite subject and the only subject I can understand in one whole huge chunk, and I've NEVER gotten an A grade for it. The best I've got is a B+.

Seriously?!

Never mind, I don't really want to talk about this.

I don't know anything anymore. I don't enjoy thinking about the future, because right now I have to set things right. Whatever I missed out when I was younger, I have to fix it all right now. Because if I don't, I will never be perceived than being better than I look on paper.

You want people to want to know you better? Get your papers ready, coz if there isn't anything interesting on your paper... Even if you're the most fascinating person on Earth, they will not want to know more about you.

Which also means that, to a certain extent, appearance does matter. It's like an enzyme that speeds things up. And without that enzyme, very little, or no reaction occurs.

If a girl is pretty, guys will want to approach her and talk to her. And if the guy likes her personality, and the girl likes his personality... Congrats! Cupid's job is done!

But if the girl isn't very pretty, but is really helpful, and kind, and patient, and loving... Nobody, or very little guys will approach this person to learn more about her kindness.

So.. yea, I believe appearance is an enzyme. Which is pretty important. Of course, there are always exceptions to everything. There are cases where the guy doesn't care about appearance. But seriously, it's tough finding a guy like that.

Gah... Come on!!!!

Seems lots of people are sick nowadays. Hmm. My cough is only better when I take the meds. Once the effect wears off then I'm back again.

Anyway today wasn't TOO busy. I bothered Sally quite a few times after she left early to settle some logistics, coz the people there were noobs and a nooblet. But she was very patient over the phone, haha. Today, I helped make an appt for the first time! It is actually pretty easy. But it's the communication with patient that is challenging.

Today is also my first driving lesson. It is pretty fun driving. But that's what I think since it's only the first lesson and it's just the nice and easy turns and stuff like that. My 'cher is quite a nice guy. Luckily not my Dad's friend, if not very awkward. But Dad's friend told his colleague that I'm his friend's kid.

Lol. Then 'cher thought my Dad is a stalker or something because he keeps appearing around me. Then when Dad kept watching me from a distance, the 'cher ask me really sternly, "Is that guy your Dad?" Lol.

I think turning the car takes a little bit of getting used to. But otherwise, acceleration and stuff is fine. I wasn't as choppy as I thought all nooblets will be. I think thanks to the 'cher.

Now to pass my BTT. Then my ATT. I just want to pass and get it over and done with, you know.

I didn't go to work today because I felt too sick to go. Wasn't having fever or anything, but I was coughing real bad, and I'm sure patients don't want me coughing into their already-sick faces. So I did cough the entire day. In the end, decided to go see the doctor.

I measured, but there wasn't much fever. Then I went down to the clinic, and bam! Fever. Seriously? The doctor asked if I had any chills and stuff like that, but I didn't. It didn't feel chilly or cold. Then it hit me, the weather is too hot.

Anyway, got a few medicines. But it was a different set for the ones I usually get for URTI. I did request for non-drowsy cough syrup, so that's definitely different. Antibiotics was changed too. Much appreciated, though it breaks my record, coz the pills are now smaller. Raspberry flavoured lozenges? Cool or what? They usually give me pineapple. Hooray for raspberry. And then, Salbutamol tablets, which are actually Ventolin tablets. Soemthing is wrong with my airways.

Anyway, was in a dilemma today. If I didn't go to the doctors, I would be coughing non-stop, and then my parents would be yelling at me to stop and stuff like that. And coz I went to the doctors, my mum says I'm wasting money.

I dunno what to do seriously. Why is visiting the doctor a waste of money, and buying 4D and spending crap money is not? Oh yea, there is a chance of winning something for lottery. But what are the chances? Spending money on health is more worth it, in my opinion.

Really don't know why my parents are like that. They get angry, really, whenever I am sick. As if that will do anything good for me. I'm already sick what you want me to do? Shoot me to death then you be happy? Man, I'm already sick, so get it treated! There's no use telling me stop doing this, stop doing that.

Haiz. My life is so screwed up.

Anyway today is the 11th of May. Which is... the anniversary of something. Of which, only some people will know.

Wow. O_o

URTI isn't getting better. Still coughing and having sore throat and stuff. If tomorrow I'm not too much better, I won't go to work. But having said this now, fate will just make it such that I am miraculously healed the next day so I can go to work. Then get sick again after that.

WAB.

Today was an average day.

I watched Kid Nation on TV, and it was a pretty cool reality show. It's where a bunch of kids are thrown into a miniature town called Bonanza, and then there are no adults and they are going to have to run it themselves. Stuff like, clearing trash, getting water, cooking and stuff.

I think it's really interesting. Today's episode there was this girl Taylor who was voted off the council, and she was feeling really bad about it. So she refused to do anything, coz she's a paegent queen. And nobody could make her do anything. She would just screw everything up.

And there was this guy who was really mature. He spoke to kids who didn't take things seriously, and was very cooperative all around.

So he got a gold star, which is a prize of 20 thousand dollars!

Hmm, every night, there is this problem of being unable to load Facebook. I don't understand why. It could be loading fine, and then in just a second, I can't load anything anymore. I bet it's Singnet's problem.

Internet explorer takes really long to load it and eventually is unable to. As for Chrome and Firefox, those slackers just give up too easily. Can never load anything that is too slow.

I am seriously looking forward to starting school. It's been so damn freaking long since anyone spontaneously talked to me on msn. It's been so freaking long since I've had anyone who wants to understand.

Anyone would break like that. Humans are supposed to be social creatures, they're not supposed to be left alone in this society where interaction is key.

Whatever. Talking isn't going to get me anywhere. And omg, I just realised Make-A-Wish never replied my email. Seriously?

In any case, it sucks. It as in generally. I wish for better dreams tonight so at least I can see some happiness in a long long freaking time.

When was the last time you got a warm hug from someone? ^-^

Come to think of it, I didn't buy a carnation for Mom today. But I did make her a card. I think she likes it better if it's a card. She doesn't exactly like flowers.

So that's it for now. No medicine for me. Maybe next time.

(Yea, Gel... I was talking about this on Facebook.)

I don't really understand why a certain someone's Mum keeps calling my mum nowadays.
She just called this morning (again), and reported to my mum that her precious baby girl didn't get into Medicine, got into Chemical Engineering, doesn't know whether she should just go to NTU... and OH YEAH. She passed her driving test.

Okay, seriously, why would I be bothered about the achievements of YOUR daughter? I freaking got beaten by my parents because she chose to tell my mum about every little thing that occurred in primary school. She's always been better than me, and everyone looks at her instead of me.

So can she just get the shit out of my life and leave me alone already? If she wants to be here, FINE. Be a friend, not a spy, not my reporter, not anything. And stop talking about me to her mummy dearest.

Stop bragging, alright? Just coz I didn't get a chance to go for an interview, and you did, doesn't mean you're better than me, or that I'm better than you. You don't have to use this opportunity to show off that even though I got into an atas school, your daughter's still better than me.

Know what? Whatever I do, people still think your daughter is still better than me, so just ride with the waves. Feel the breeze on your face as you wish, just don't tell me how good it feels, because I want to feel comfortable where I am, even if it's under your ass.

One day, I'm gonna get out of there and rise. And when that time comes, I'm not as cruel as you, to say in your face that I've escaped your bottoms.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alright.

I dislike it when people other than NUSH-ians ask me about where I am going to study, or what I am studying.

I would have been prouder if I got what I wanted. Where I am now may not be my first choice, but it's my second choice. Still, I don't like it as much, but at least I can study.

I can continue working for what I want. There's still a lifetime to go. I just hope that I do get it after working so hard. This hasn't been so for the past 18 years, and I'm hoping that the eyes in the high skies will feel my passion and put me where I want to be.

Admit, it isn't easy to get into NUS. But I've been studying a science intensive curriculum for the past 4 years. Being in science again will just be like the past. Biology, where in Singapore would you need that?

Singapore is all about crushing nature and building cement structures. Why do Singaporeans NOT have the mentality of recycling? Anyway... The only place a biologist can go to work is the lab, as a researcher.

And the research is used in other countries, not at home.

BAHF.

Why is everything screwing up?

No matter.

Gotta run.

Is it just me or do the eyes sorta hurt when you read white words on black background? Hmm... In any case, it's still better than reading grey words on pink background...
And you guys never told me!

Anyway, not blaming you guys la... Considering, today at the clinic, got blamed by people for their lack of common sense.

I worked till quite late today and was gonna crash near the end. It must be due to the Red tea last night I had, and then couldn't sleep soundly after... So in the end, restless night, almost no sleep. Still managed to crawl out of bed and get to work.

After my supposed shift, everything just went downhill. Things started to seem duller, I couldn't find the bottles, and shit like that. Those signs when all you can think about is having a soft surface to collapse on...

So I just sat there and claimed all the Parkway Shenton stuff. It's really scary when there is no senior around, because the truth is, I know sufficient things to handle most patients... But sometimes there are just patients that have lots of needs. And I don't know how to handle that.

Yesterday in a very long while, I had the fingers for drawing. Drew something for Evelyn. So rare to have such moments, to be able to have an image in mind that I can express. That feeling is immense, like I can finally materialize my thoughts onto something.

That doesn't mean I've been thinking of a certain thing and I drew it. It's the action of materializing something out of brainwaves that is fulfilling.

So today after I got home, I washed up a little, did some internet chores, and then proceeded to train Elfie so that he can evolve into an Espeon by today. I only had until 8pm to do so, because after 8pm he will evolve into an Umbreon, and we don't need another Umbreon.

Fortunately, yesterday's training helped a fair bit. After about 20 minutes, and 2 levels... Elfie finally evolved into an Espeon. Huge relief. Just switched the DS off after saving and collapsed on my bed.

Until 7.45pm, where I got sorta freaked out by the darkness and went to switch on some lights. Before collapsing back on the bed, until mum disturbed me with ehr phone calls.

So. Drained.

As some of you know, I have beaten the Pokemon league a couple days back. I still haven't renamed my Pokemon yet, can't think of good enough names.

Well, this marks the completion of the first half of my Pokemon Soulsilver game. On to more challenging stuff! Seriously, it's harder to keep up now. In-game trainers have such high level pokemon, yet wild pokemon are at such a low level, rendering me unable to train efficiently. I am always receiving so much damage now, and my babies are fainting like, more frequently. No worries, the potions I've stocked for the league will be put to good use now!

Didn't need to use much of the pots during the league fight!

Congrats, Cassie!

Anyway, I managed to hatch an Eevee egg today, so the newest addition to the family would be a baby Eevee! That is why I said Evan has a little brother now! Technically speaking, Evan would be having a son, not a little brother... But that sounds so wrong, so brother it will be!

I named the new member Elfie. I'm running out of nice boy names starting with E, so the next Eevee better be a girl. I'm planning to collect all of the Eevees. Elfie would be a Espeon, since Evan is an Umbreon.

I have a Leafeon over at Diamond, which I would be transferring over next time. Oh shit, means I gotta rename it now. And it's a boy T_T

That's all for now, sorry to those who aren't interested in Pokemon... I think it'll be the majority of y'all...

And thanks for reading!

PS: Hopes you like the new skin.

I am always not getting the things I want in life. On top of that, yes, sometimes I do get what I want, but it's never the right thing.

The following are exaggerated examples:
If I want red tea, life gives me green tea.
If I want shoes, life gives me those that don't fit.
If I want guys, life gives me gays.

Get what I mean? It's like, I am THAT close to getting it, but no it's not what I want.

So today, I was buying lunch a cafe lobby, and probably the last time in a long while I am getting lunch from there. Here's the story.

Yesterday...
I was buying chicken rice for lunch, when the guy at the cash register told his chicken-chopper friend "That girl's pretty." in mandarin. Then the chicken chopper guy told me, "Girl, he says you're pretty leh!" in mandarin. Ugh, for convenience sake, let's just say they spoke in mandarin the whole time, including me.
Awkward. I just gave an awkward smile, paid and left.

Today...
I wanted to get wanton noodles. Cash-register guy was still there smiling. So i ordered wanton noodles with the noodles-guy. Then cash-register guy saw me and all so I tried not to look at him, but he hid behind the chicken stand anyway after awhile. Then he mumbled to noodles guy that he wanted to ask for my number.

So the noodles guy announced that he wants to ask for my number. I was like, awkward smile, again. The noodles guy said to him "Eh, I help you say already, now your turn lah. She's just there wad." I was still awkward-smiling. I collected my noodles, paid, and rushed off. But not before cash-register guy said, "Never mind, still can meet her tomorrow lah hor..."

BLAH. Seriously. Cash register guy is obviously older than I am, and from the neighboring Malaysia. Besides, do I seem like I will be interested in a cash register guy, when I am going to enter the world of post-NS guys at NUS?
NO.

If a guy were to ask my number, it should be one who has a nice personality, decent education, and decent looks, or with a good job. Anyway, I don't like guys who are more than 4 years older than me, that's definitely a NO.

So therefore, I am not going to buy lunch from there anymore.

Anyway, something mad went on at the clinic today. Evelyn and Sally left super early. And Desiree swapped times with Emily. So when Eve and Sally left at about 1pm-ish, I was left with two juniors, and an equal who doesn't really know how to do much.

What's worse, the cash register was screwed up and I couldn't fix it. AND, Dr. Yvonne ordered a referral to hospital when there wasn't anybody who could fix the appt. I had to delay the booking coz of that and I think the patient ain't very happy about that.

So Desiree arrived.

At that point, there was this woman who came wanting to purchase a cream OTC from us. I checked her records and she has never gotten a cream from us. I explained that she has to consult because she doesn't have a record for the cream here, and the doctor is unable to dispense it due to clinic policy. Did I ever mention that Dr. Yvonne is especially strict about that?

She didn't want to believe me. She says she always gets the cream from another clinic and she knows her symptoms and how to use it and all. So I asked Desiree to reinforce our stand. She tells the woman again about the policy, and the woman says "where's the policy on paper, let me see." WTH?

But Desiree is super powerful, she says, "You can speak to my boss if you want to, but I really cannot dispense this for you if you haven't consulted the doctor here for this medication."

Then she gave up and took a number.

People sometimes...

Sigh.

I am not the best, I am not the worst.
People want to be like me when they're down,
and people wished they were never like me when they're happy.
People think I'm good when they're alone,
and people think I'm nothing when they have company.
I am average.

Today at work, I almost did not dispense any medicine. I think it's good because my junior needs to do it when I leave. And then it hit me, I am leaving.

[Sidenote joke: I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger and bigger... Then it hit me.]

Yes, I would finally be leaving in about 2 months. Freedom, baby! But I wonder... If I leave, who can I talk to everyday? By talking, I mean talk crap and laugh and have fun chit chatting. Probably nobody until school starts. Sigh.

I want, and don't want, to leave. I can sleep as late as I want, and go do whatever I want. But then, I'll be doing it alone. (I meant the doing whatever I want thing. Not the sleeping thing. I sleep alone.)

Working at the clinic has been fun. The beginning was tough, but now I have been moved up, no longer the bottom of the food chain, at least... It has been fun. I can actually do stuff, and learn a lot of things from the doctors and the staff. It has served as a reminder of what my goal in life is. Given me an insight. Yes, it is what I will want to do.

I watched Fringe today. It was a really nice episode. I liked that song Olivia sang, and it made me feel like singing it the moment I get a boyfriend ^-^ Stable one, of course.

I feel like listening to acoustic music now. Seeya.

Let's have a change of scenes, shall we?

*claps claps*
[The wonders of chromakey]

I spent the entire today training up my pokemon for the pokemon league. The toughest part was getting my pokemon from level 20 to about 26/7... Coz I just cannot find the right pokemons for them to fight.

But I did it anyway and as of now, all my league pokemon just passed the bare minimum requirements of level 42.

So this is what my team will look like.
1. Typhlosion - Cherri
2. Ampharos
3. Lugia
4. Pidgeot - Paige
5. Umbreon - Evan
6. Lapras

As you can see, some of them are named by me. Those are the few that I'm quite attached to. Though... Ampharos is one of my precious babies. Just couldn't think of anything nice for it.

In any case, I'm naming all of them, except Lugia, after they win me the Pokemon League the first time.

Meanwhile, I shall continue training those lil precious things, till they are at least level 44. Shouldn't be too difficult.

Gosh, I've become such a Pokemon master like all asians are. Haha.
I don't know why, but I like Pokemon a lot. I like to play, and every pokemon game I play is very special to me. I don't like it when people help me to play any part of it... It just doesn't feel right.

Pokemon rocks~!

Where are you, my guardian angel...
When I needed you the most.
You were meant to stay by my side,
keep me happy, make me smile...
Where are you, my guardian angel...
Coz now, I really need you....

There were two parts to my day today. I shall first talk about the happy part because not everyone wants to know about how sad and lonely I am and stuff like that.

So basically, I watched Ironman 2 today. Though some people may think it isn't as good as Ironman (1), I love both the first and the second. I felt they were equally as good.
I liked the part where he put on the suit from the case. No spoilers here coz that part was shown in trailers.
I bought the Ironman combo, which is 10 bucks thanks to my GV popcorn card. And then I got the cuppy with an Ironman figure on it. Well, actually I got it for 6 bucks, coz Shawn gave me some money for the popcorn portion of the combo.
Kenneth and I thought the cup was quite sick though. The figure on the cup was only to the waist of the (Ironman/war machine) suit, and there was a hole for the straw. So when properly arranged, it was quite sick.

So that was the happy part of my day. The rest is up to you whether you want to read it or not.

I woke up this morning to my mum saying this to me while I'm still enjoying my air-con sleep.

*bleeeeep* *aircon shuts down*

"Hey, girl. Laura's* mum just called. She told me that Laura got an interview for Medicine. But then, all her scholarships rejected her..."

Me: Right.... *kicks blanket off due to the heat*

"But horh, she says very difficult la... The interview questions she cannot answer well, and she says the essay is so difficult to write... Oh, but anyway she isn't interested in doing medicine la..."
*name changed to protect privacy. (and my ass)


OKAY. Seriously. Here I am, crying my eyes out praying for a chance to study medicine. And then this person here puts down medicine as her choice for the fun of it, and got an interview. I didn't even get the chance to be interviewed.

You know I'm so sick of people who choose medicine for the fun and prestige of it, and hate those people who do medicine but don't want to. If you aren't interested in medicine, or becoming a doctor, then DON'T put it as one of your choices. Stop taking up other people's chances and opportunities.

And my friend, if you are reading this, I'm sorry but it's official. I am mad at you. I know this is how you felt when I was not supposed to get in, but I did. And you didn't. You were always better than I am, and everyone knows it. True, I didn't want to get into the school. But that's because I thought I wasn't worthy of it, and I didn't know much about it. But when I went in, I worked hard, as if I planned to be here. In any case, you persuaded me to join you.

This is not the way I planned to start my day. And my mum knew. She knew that talking about medicine would upset me greatly. And she still did it.

I ended up being moody all day. I was so close to crying at various parts of the day, and that is not good because it screws up my nose badly.

Also, my EZlink card expired, while I just topped up 30 bucks yesterday. Thank you SO fucking much to the Singapore Transport company for reminding me to top up my card yesterday, and failed to remind me that it was going to expire the next day. Thank you so much. Not.
Seriously, this is corrupted.

So my parents picked me up at Hougang station after my outing. I had to get my dollar refunded so that took some time. Not a lot, but a little. When I got into the car, my parents didn't ask me how my outing went. It went like this.

Me: Hello~!
*silence for a few seconds*
Mum: (in a annoyed tone) Where were you when you called me?
[Coz i called her asking where they were waiting]
Me: Err... I was getting my dollar refunded and had to queue.
Mum: Orh. Orh, she was getting her card done la...
Me: The movie was cool.
Dad: Always so slow. Like you (referring to mum), everytime I pick you up you are always the last to come out.
*goes on to argue about auntie politics at the company and all that*

There is a monster within me that I cannot tame. It is feeding off my fear and sadness. I can't do anything about it.