I've realised all the little things stored in my memory that I've sorta forgotten. But now I realise their significance. Little by little. And I realise how important they are to me.

Those times... By chance or by intention... I've never paid that much attention to them, until now. They've brought smiles to my face, yet so unreachable.

It's there, when I take the green line. I still remember that time you saved me. Not that I was going to die, but you still saved me. At that desperate moment, the only name I thought of was yours, and you came to my aid. You took my hand and you pulled me out. You didn't leave me behind.

We've always had almost the same classes. And we liked the same subject, Bio. And in those classes, you've never failed to help me understand stuff that I don't understand.

委員長... あたしのかわいい委員長。。。

Without fail, you sit there beside me. Thank you, for being there.

I also remember the time when the Japanese students came. You were there too. And after bringing them shopping, you were still there. すごいね、あたしたち。You claimed an entire set free! =D

And that time there were games and I was quite moody. You grabbed me and dragged me around the room running... Lol.

Anyways, thanks.

Then when we had to do our project, and Bengela left us alone, you were still there.
I ate matcha ice cream again recently, and I remembered that time at pepper lunch.

Theo didn't go for IR today, so I gotta cut the asparagus. Gel did 80 samples, and I only did 40 in the same amount of time.... OMG. THEO!!!!!!!!!!! Come back T.T

And anyway we found something scary in the hot water bath in the lab today. And then Yap korkor removed it. Yay.

Everybody's falling sick. Theo had a high fever, and Jun Yup has a high fever too. A few days ago, ダニエル君 fell sick too. Maybe I'm next. Got bitten by a mozzito today. It was so full that it fell off me naturally and couldn't even fly after that. Ass that mozzito! My blood ain't for you to drink.

Ate pizza hut with お姉ちゃん today. Talked about a lot of stuff. It's so nice talking to her, you know... It's like, she listens. She really does. And she sees the best in you. It's like putting a hand on my head and fuzzying my hair saying, "大丈夫。。。本とに大丈夫。" And it helps calm me down.

Quite moodless today.

Went to Hougang Mall with mum. There wasn't any Actioncity. Got moodless more. But the best thing was she let me rant on and on about a certain girl that gets on my nerves much. Baka girl.

I'm so going to buy a DOMO-KUN. バカ！I showed it to you and you bought it for someone else. I'm going to get one too. Someone, or myself, is gonna get it. Fake actioncity fan. FAKE! なんでやねん!

But I love my hedgehogs too... They're so soft and so warm. They're special.

Lemme just give a quote from an anime I watched....
She said:
"Because of Yano, everyone was cool with the play.
You know that type of person, right?
The one who brings a soccer ball to recess, so all of the other kids cheer and go to the field to play.
And when that type of person leaves,
everyone just gets bored and quits playing.
The type who really has a strong presence.
He's one of those types, and I really admire that part of him."

Somehow, it got stuck in my mind.

I doubt anybody is reading this blog anymore. But I hope that there's somebody like me out there, who still waits for a new post on an apprently dead blog. Somehow it is interesting to take a sneak peek into someone's life through their perspective.

Anyway, things have been going sort of fine. Happy things are that our asparagus callus finally grew. Thanks Mr Yap Jiawei, and my bestest group members Angela and Theodore. I also got a new laptop, and a new phone, courtesy of Dad. Thanks Dad, and thanks Mom for being supportive! Furthermore, the plans for December are coming along very well, much thanks to Theodore! And today I watched the Youtube Live broadcast. Really really awesome.

Of course there were bad things too, but I tend to just not bring them up very often. What has happened has happened, and I choose to trust what I do. I may be mean to someone, but then... Has that someone been mean to me? How long am I going to continue blaming myself? Sigh. Yes, I've finally met the peak of my tolerance. でも... 疲れたですよ。

These few days... Can't sleep well. Have to lie down for a long while before I subconsiously fall asleep. Because the same thoughts kept running through my mind.

Maybe I'm trying to be someone I'm not. I don't know. I need to have more confidence in myself. My good friend hasn't been well either. Always need so much care, and everytime I give some advice... Cannot follow because circumstances dun allow. That poor お兄さん。大丈夫ですか？頑張るよ！

頑張ろ。

I am suay enough to get a bruise now. Like on my arm. Which lead me to a certain state of depression.

This is like one of the most painful bruises ever. If I'm a masochist I would like it to last.

Sometimes I feel like I dun belong to anywhere or anyone. Yes, I do belong to my parents. But still they are parents and they are to act like parents. They can't cuddle me like I'm a kid anymore. They are to be strong so I can be strong.

They make me happy, and it hurts me to make them sad. I dun share my troubles with them because I want them to be happy with me, for me....

A friend.

How I wished I had a friend who would fuss over me. Look for me when he/she is lonely, and vice versa.... Praise me and be happy when I'm happy... Keep me close to their heart...

When will I find a friend like that...

Tired... I just wanna be small. Really tiny. Then lie on a blade of leaf and just sleep... and dream about my friend.