Blogging using the Ritsumeikan WLAN now... First time I blogged since I've been to Japan. But I'm not going to talk much about Japan... Just that I've been learning alot and never really got too tired of the learning.

The trip has been a long but meaningful one. Yea.

Miss all my friends back in Singapore! Tired. Gah.
Did too much shopping @@

It's weird how a year-end formal dinner is now known as a ball to me. Well, the theme of the whole thing was 'Masquerade', so it was really ballish. And also coz Theo referred to it as a ball. Haha.

But it was a great time because it was relly a time when I can totally be myself and enjoy the time with the year 5s. It's like for once, everybody isn't caring about academics and attended the dinner purely to enjoy themselves. And it was a great feeling. ^-^ I am really happy with the dinner... Maybe it's because of the moment and the people around me.

Well, the feeling was great. But of course, the running of the whole thing wasn't as good as expected. Firstly, they grouped Gel, Caitlin, and I into a table with nobody (except two more girls who we aren't even close to) we know. And it was very very awkward. Lucky for Gel, Ben's table had a vacancy, and the Prince Charming rescued the princess from the tower. Lol, Rapunzel.

And anyway, the serving was really horrible. They took so long to clear the tables of the used plates, and took even longer to serve the food. When our cups were empty, they didn't even bother to refill it for us. What the hell. So during the super long no-food break, Caitlin and I went around to scout for vacancies at tables where there were all people we know.

I found one at Theo's table. It consisted of Roy, Mae, Yiwei, Yunhui, Theodore, WeiCheng, Ryan, Lux, Me. And two other people. Had fun talking to Lux and poking his surface bar piercing thing. So scary lor. He says it's going to grow into his skin and stay there forever until he slits his skin open to take it out.

The performance was somewhat cool. Lennard's singing was so funny! Not the weird kind of way, but a very Lennard kind of way, and since Lennard is generally a funny person.... Yea.

The dinner ended with Theo and I going to kope as much dessert as possible for the people who were too lazy to join the super long queue. In the end, only a few people ate those that we took, and Theo only ate the jelly. =(

Dinner ended and there was a disco session. Theo at first was commenting on how people are going nuts. But in the end, most of the year 5s went up to the stage to go crazy with all the dance music. The best part was when they played 'Accidentally in love', and everybody there started singing the song. And it was sooooooooo crazy. It was pure madness. Everyone was jumping and grooving and all, haha.

Lol. Definitely the funnest day of my life. Really really, enjoyed it alot alot alot.

Went back at about 11pm, to pack and all that stuffs, then went down to wait for Dad to come fetch. Daniel was there too and then decided to send him home as well.

Oh wells, that's how it ended. Enough madness.

Went out today (Sunday) with mum, to buy stuffs. Bought a really cute luggage and it was cheap for a 4-wheeler.

Going to Japan is probably the costiest thing this year. Bought winter jacket, the vacuum bag, then the luggage, then the laptop pouch.... Really la, spent alot. But I bought the luggage myself since the old one was gonna spoil so now, the luggage has my name written on it, figuratively. Lol. Tomorrow I'm going off....

I really am quite scared and all, because I really dun want to disappoint my group... Angela, Theo, and Mr. Yap... They all worked really hard and I dun want our efforts to go to waste. Angela has been putting in lots of hours.... Reading the research papers, remembering all the important numbers, typing our journal, being our mummy, and doing all the paperwork... And Theo has been doing all the guy stuff, like pouring out molten agar into the plates, precise cutting, laying down the asparagus, cutting parafilm..... Really, tough work. And Mr Yap has been like our Daddy, and he's always helping us though he really doesn't need to. [Note: is need to, not 'not supposed to']

I'll miss all my friends and my family members.... Although it's only 10 days... Miss their warmths and their voices.... Lol. I'll miss Jun Yup too.... I'm like so freaking far from him now. Will be worried too since he's having his exams while I'm away. Sigh.

Wish me luck people, and please msn me whenever possible!

Motherboard spoilt, costs $100+ to fix. Can't afford. If you feel sorry for me and want to help me with the fixing of it, please do.... Or not. Never mind. I dun think i can ever get that much donations.

Super sad coz of it. And all mum knows how to do it to constantly nag at me about spoiling it. She says that she isn't blaming me for PSP spoiling, but whatever she says after just implies that I am the one who spoilt it. I swear I didn't. I didn't drop it or hit it against anything.

I dun like my PSP anymore. Though I will still use it. But I won't take great care of it anymore. If it is already spoilt then why take great care of it? If it gets dusty or anything I'm not going to care anymore.

Sometimes I really wonder if I even have the right to feel sad at all. Because when I do, it's as if nobody cares. And the more sad I am, the more people ignore me. And nobody really cares how I feel, especially when I'm sad.

When I see none of my friends bothering..... I turn to my parents as a last resort. But they dun really care, actually. When I tell them about my troubles, they either not care, or they scold me for it. In other words, they just make me feel more upset.

I am so disappointed that my parents can't even do a simple thing, like comforting me. I bet, if someday I got kidnapped... and in the end they found me, the first thing they will do is to scold me and ask me why did I even go out that day, even if they did say i can go out.

I am sad over my PSP, the least mum could do was to NOT continuously, for the 3rd day, say that I spoilt it and it's all my fault and it's all coz of me that now it is like that, and that I wasted money because I spoilt it. It's as if i wanted to spoil it on purpose.

Perhaps I wasn't allowed to be sad. Which is a sad thing, because..... I need someone who wants to care for me.

Woke up today and then Gel and I started chionging our project poster. It's really pretty!!! Luckily Gel knows how to use GIMP, whereas I know how to use Paint better. Put together it became really nice. Pretty!

After that, we went down to the lab to further discuss our project. And we spend $300 today... Coz we used up 15grams of 2,4-D, which costs like $300. Yap korkor's heart must be broken now, sorry..... We're seriously using up lots of money....

Oh wells, after that we had a Pizza Hut treat from Yap korkor. So we say a huge thanks!

After which, headed to the observatory. Then when I was there, Mdm Rohaida requested me to take the keys for the Gamelan room. I initially thought there wasn't CCA today. But oh wells.

Hurriedly went up to shower before going for CCA. Played a new song today, and Jun Yup skipped the entire CCA session, using the time to discuss important matters with Mdm Rohaida.

Meanwhile, there is gonna be a masterclass on the 5th of November, which is also a O level day. All the bonung players were out, so I volunteer to learn the bonungs. I got Kylie's bonungs, which were actually much faster.

After that, Jun Yup told me we aren't gonna 'perform' anymore coz the new players CANNOT play. Which i think is totally bullshitto. It doesn't mean that the new members can't play lor. People just haven't heard us on our own. And just because the senior members are playing, they just assume it's the work of the senior members. What kind of nonsense is this la....

In the end, Mdm Rohaida changed her mind. Besides, if you people are so looking down on us new members, it's only a freaking masterclass, no 'shame' even if you want us to.

After which went for Japan trip briefing. Was quite an interesting session, because we're going overseas and no parents attended the session.

Quite frustrating, whatever happens after that. Get all sorts of bullshit from people. I hope every single human on Earth has gratefulness and appreciativeness written in their genes. It is damn shit when you do so much for someone, and he just freeloads off you.

I think it's really damn rude and I'm trying very hard not to type names here.

This is ridiculous. I think I'm becoming more and more impatient as the moments pass, and less tolerable of things that happen. It's been so tough and tiring to keep up with certain stuff, that now, I catch a glimpse of it and I think to myself, "No no no..... Not again........" Then with a sigh, I just don't give a damn about it and let it pass, then move on to more bearable things.

Sometimes I wonder to myself why can't all these just stop. Be like the world around it and not be odd or something. Just sit on a piece of log and flow as the river flows. Why try to flow against the freaking river, then blame others for why you are feeling so drained all the time.

It costing so much more to go against stuff that aren't meant to be.... And like, it's pulling you down and all then why torture yourself for these kind of things?

Sometimes I just cease to try to understand. Afterall, I don't think it'll involve me in anyway, and when I ask I just end up being the lousiest person on Earth. And that's coz people get angry and I get upset. Really upset. And the thing is that nobody will understand why I am upset.

And it's also quite tough, to be having someone reluctantly doing what you somewhat wish..... It totally ruins the whole feeling of it. Take for example, staying back. Of course I do wish that there would be someone beside me, there for me. But it would totally suck if the person says that he or she is staying back just coz I requested them to and in actual fact they didn't want to. It's just so...... weird. And it feels wrong. It's like nobody is willing to spend any time with me.

And you know, there's nobody to complain to at all.... Other people are too worried about their own problems... There's not much time for me to complain to them or anything. And my complaints are not like when I complain means you gotta do something about it. I just needed someone to listen to me complain, you know.... Like just expressing my unhappiness.

So sometimes i turn to mum, but it always never really works because when I complain, she usually says stuff like I'm being stupid if I want stuff to be done right away, or corrected right away... Or that I'm just pissing her off. I just needed to share my views with her and not like anybody should do anything about my complaints, unless there are more and more people complaining.

I also recently realised how we are all gonna be screwed eventually. All of us. These few days, every single thing is more expensive. Dung that has been worth nothing some time ago, is now worth 1 cent. It is so freaking ridiculous why stuff in Singapore more continue to become more and more ridiculously expensive. Plus, it isn't like people's pays are getting higher by the second. Then the government helps those that are poor, which is a sweet thing to do, but if they haven't inflated everything in the first place at least maybe they can still barely get along with how little they have. And now they can't. Those people who have a little more to spare now have none to spare.

Can't they just leave the prices alone?! We didn't ask me build all those tourist attractions over here. I honestly dun see the point of having the Singapore Flyer thing. It's just a freaking huge ferris wheel, and i think when you get up there, you just see buildings, buildings and more buildings. These kind of things cost alot to build and maintain, and I dun think it attracts more people here. Maybe it does, but it doesn't make that much of a difference, like whoever comes to Singapore just to take a ride on the ferris wheel?

Newspapers are now 80-cents instead of the usual 70-cents. And it used to be 60-cents. Wth?! It's an extra 70-cents the press gets to make a week per person! That's like selling 8 copies a week. Ridiculous la... And the transport fares for adults keep going up. And what? They're still encouraging people to take public transport. A short trip on the bus already costs so much for a normal adult. People would rather drive their own cars la. For that little bit of extra money, your get your own space, your own time target, added comfort, no body odour, who dun want?!

Really la.... Stop inflating everything la.

And oh yes, about increasing the population over here. I duno if it was noted that alot of people are staying in high rise houses now?! How are you gonna squash more people into such a small place?! Have underground houses? What? Sheesh.

And i just totally hate how everything is so expensive nowadays. Pfft.

Whatever, so pissed. Wished that there was someone who would willingly sit by me and enjoy my company. Not like some people who reluctantly stay and say, "I only like you around when you're not annoying." The hell.

Went to Parkway Parade today to buy Acheron the book. Apparently I got the last copy. Lol. And it takes 2 hours to get from school to Parkway Parade. And then, 2 hours more back.

Anyway, on the way to the bus stop today, there was this toddler running and the he tripped and rolled into the small drain and sort of scratched his leg. And his grandparents were around, grandma in front of me, and grandad behind me. So when their grandson literally rolled into the drain, they started yelling and yelling. Oh gosh, and their grandson never even cry. Cool boy.

Can't stand it. I was supposed to get my new phone today.

Anyway, went to watch Mamma-Mia today. Was quite alright, though not everyone will like it. So we went to vivo to watch and I SWEAR THE MALL WAS SUANING ME.

It was filled with Samsung Omnia advertisments. There was a Samsung specialty store and they placed an Omnia phone right at the entrance of the store. Damn the store. And when I went to the cinema, there was a commercial about how great Samsung Omnia is. Oh my tian...........
And after the movie, we walked past a singtel shop, with an Omnia poster right at the entrance. Wtf................

Really really hate it.

I want the phone. NOWNOWNOWNOWNOW.

Hey! Exams are finally over. But now, I have nothing to do, like total free days. It won't last long though, because there is work to do next week. GEP invigilation at Grange Road. Eeeeks. But they do pay me for it so it isn't that bad.

Dad was supposed to get me a new phone tomorrow. But now he can't, coz apprently the promotion for the phone is over and now it's up to its expensivo price and so he doesn't want to get it. Sobs. I dun even think I'll get it before I fly to Japan. Sobs. Sorry, but I really dun like my current phone much, no matter how cool others think it is. The touch screen is so small and the made the buttons small as well. Typing smses is also a pain in the ass/fingers. Dislike it. Argh.

Just called Borders Wheelock, and they said they don't have Acheron. Stupid Borders Wheelock. Made me wait 2 months.... And then now they ask me wait another 2 months, like wth....
so I called Borders Parkway. And.............................. THEY HAVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ Omg omg omg I am so happy.

Lalala~

Exams start tomorrow, so I'm pretty much nervous.

Because after exams there will be shitloads of stuff to do, and I'm scared that things will fail. Of course I want my name to be on that nifty thing in the concourse, but seems like it's impossible coz nothing's going well.

So yea... A little... Upset right now, I suppose?

Just received news that Jun Yup is not going to miss me when I fly off to Japan. Maybe he hates me. Which guy doesn't miss his girlfriend when she's off in another country?

Maybe it's coz when I'm gone he can do stuff that I dunno about and not get interfered/caught. It's just a maybe.

Guy probably wants to screw up whatever important events I have. He's so gonna screw with my emotions the day before I fly off, wanna bet? And when I'm really leaving, he can't be bothered with replying any of my smses.

Indulging in newfound freedom. Fl... Okay, nothing.

Then he dumps all his caterpillars on me. Talk to a girl and made me wait half an hour for him.

-_-

One day I'll throw his caterpillars and pupae at him.

Blah blah blah.

Whatever. Sien.