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Unexpected

I'm unexpectedly tired today.

Also have much thoughts running through my mind. Asking myself, really, do I really like him? Conclusion is yes, I do like him. Wondered a little about what I call a 'pseudorelationship', which is when both parties decide to have a relationship for let's say... A month, and it ends after a month. I never really seen these sort of stuff but it does happen. Won't do that coz I know what I want and that's my goal.

Hmm... but it doesn't matter too much if I don't get to that goal. It depends on other stuff as well. As long as we're happy.

And no, I'm not in a pseudorelationship.

Also, about what Daniel said, I've considered and decided for now, not to heed his advice. Perhaps I need it in the future. Thanks Daniel, though. His advice was similar to Angela's advice, to go and explore other areas as well and not to concentrate only on one spot. Well, I'd like to stay on for a longer time and see where it is headed. For now, I'm satisfied with my position.

I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. Yes, I will have to take care of myself and mean literally nothing to anyone. But still... If you don't want to get hurt again, take care of yourself. You can trust yourself. Just waiting for someone to smile at me, I guess. Even then, I'll be able to take care of myself. Like I am now doing. No, I won't be a burden anymore.

Sorry Jun Yup if I have been a burden for you.

Life is always full of ups and downs, you lose people, you gain people....


it's 11:09 PM now on Tuesday, March 31, 2009



Music Week Day 2

Today was a rather eventful day. First was English and Ms. Bay was getting us ready for the civil servant person's talk. So we were discussing about healthcare in Singapore. Nothing much really happened. But before the lesson, the lit group was talking about watching a few movies and I overheard them talk about 'Run Lola Run'. So I was like, "Hey I have that movie on my HDD!" So I lent them the HDD. They were apparently looking for Memento also, and I ALSO have it on my HDD lol!

After that was supposedly Math, but I had to go play gamelan. They can't really play without me, so I really thank Ms Lee here for letting me go for the performance session. It was screwy, because they weren't coordinating well and lots of stuff just started with most people unaware of it starting and eventually ending because everyone played so soft and slow that it faded into nothingness. Bah, they aren't even prepared enough....

Ate lunch after that, and then went to learn new song for the choir. Learnt everything within an hour. Just couldn't memorise the lyrics. But that was alright I guess. Performed with them and it was alright. Juniors there were still as friendly as ever. I now feel so bad that I didn't go back to help them for an entire year.

Didn't spend much time with Ty today. But even if I did it would just be sitting and doing nothing. =(

And oh dear, WTS travel hasn't replied to my email yet. Please please please reply me WTS travel!!


it's 1:43 PM now on



What a day!

Had English lesson and math today. Mostly.

English was alright but people were being all serious today. Got to write on the mah-jong paper today, haha. But that's all we did for the entire English lesson. My essay test was horrendous though, I almost failed. Can't stand how English teachers ALWAYS say that they're being VERY lenient, yet give us such lousy marks. They didn't have to say that! I think we would have felt better without that extra information, unless they're trying to tell us that we are all lousy people.

After English we helped Aaron sell some Orchestra concert tickets while eating. Aaron then caught a baby lizard on his bag and put it in a small container. It was really cute, lol. After that, went to the bio lab. Which pissed Mr. Yap off big time. Sad face. I feel so bad now. So bad so bad!

Math lessons were boring, as always. Spent most of our Stats lesson typing the template out for the final report. Then Calculus was more grinding. Oh, and I bought a Kinder Joy chocolate.

After math, I hung around for a short while before making my way to Clementi. Was there for the polyclinic, and waited for a freaking long time. The doctor was nice though, but I think I talked a little too much. Still, he needed to know what really happened. I was really tempted to draw a graph for him with level of pain as the dependent variable and time as independent variable. But I just described it. Told me it was not anything major that I should worry about, just a muscle strain and not the bones, which is good. Actually the only reason why I went to the doctor was because I needed a PE MC for 2.4km run since I have been hurting since 2 weeks ago. He did give, but yea, nothing I should worry about.

MC can last me 2 weeks but I might not use all of it if I get well.

Then rushed back just in time for gamelan. Carried light stuff for the people. Mr. Amran helped me with the gongs while I slacked around. Thanks so much Mr. Amran, and all the juniors that helped me with the gongs. Cancy turned up today! So I taught her a few new stuffs and gave her some tips. The gongs sound really nice today for some reason, especially the gong suwukan. I always loved the gong suwukan.

Went home with Daniel after that since there was nobody else to go home with. Chatted till Commonwealth. Felt much better because it's been such a long time since I can talk freely about my feelings and stuff related to BGR. He also made me feel better by throwing in compliments here and there. [Aww. Blush.] I think he's like, the first person to be that nice. Or one of the few people.

That sorta concludes my day. Yep. Rather uneventful in another aspect. But something did happen during Calculus today. Interested people can come kacau me. HAHA.


it's 10:58 PM now on Monday, March 30, 2009



I chose to

I chose to like him. Chose to believe he won't hurt me.

Well, I don't want to get hurt again the same way I was. If I'm not wrong, he is going to continue in that way. At least, this is different. Just that, I would not care anymore. I have my support group, my friends, and the people that like me, believe in something that I do. Well, not really what I believe in, but it's something that I would like to believe.

Relief comes really quick nowadays. As long as I have him around, it's fine. Because I know I won't get hurt, at least, not by him. It's good to be able to trust in someone and it actually works, get what I mean? Starting next week, one more day has been robbed from me. Thursday! I won't be able to go home with him on Thursday acknowledges my presence.

Another point is that, I don't really do anything there. The thing about gongs... they're just so NOT portable. They're like, the heaviest stuff to carry around and nobody puts them back the right way after shifting. Going there is like, doing nothing except giving the damned wolf an opportunity to flaunt his little tigress. Can't even be bothered about those two anymore. It's really annoying to hear him flaunt because he makes it sound so vulgar.

I don't really think that Tigress is all that worth it. Some people just become so blind after awhile. Only the very few realise it soon enough to get out of it.

Anyway, I make it sound all so lovey-dovey all the time. Liking someone doesn't necessarily mean they gotta like you back. And I don't really mind now that he doesn't like me in that way or whatever. I'm just glad that he lets me be such a close friend and acknowledges me. Glad that he lets me do things for him, but never fails to thank me in his own special way. The way he waves at me. The way he waves at me when I get off the train. The way he would talk whenever we're around. The way he smiles.

A few months left. How I wished that time would never come. Then I could continue to see him every weekday. =) Yet, for my own selfish reason, I hope it'd come soon. The ONLY reason being I would finally be away from another him... And I can really leave my past behind me. Stop having the bugs nibble at me.

Prom is another thing to look forward to (or not). I just want Ty. Just. Want. TY! Sigh. But what are the odds... Unless things change somewhere between now and then.

Tioman. Ah. I totally gotta say something about that here. It's going to be fun. Currently have 12 people, and what I need is for ALL of them to confirm. After that I need a letter to the parents, some meetings with the group to confirm their expectations and activites, money to be transferred to Dad's account, and then I'm done. We're alright and good to go.

I hope I get to go out during the June holidays too. I don't want to be stuck at home. Can someone pack my schedule with outings please?

Oh, yes, there's APs and exams to worry about now. GOSH!!! Sobs. I want my time.

And how I wished I can have more together time. Zeds.


it's 11:39 PM now on Saturday, March 28, 2009



Last few moments of my week
Getting really numb to all that. Partly because now we sort of have a battle plan. There's also much backup and I feel a lot more confident.

Regret. Much. But I hope people will still give me a chance and forgive me. I may not be the perfect person, or pristine person anymore... but I will still be able to love.

Astro was way better than gamelan. Gamelan was mostly trying to reach everything without hurting myself. Also, concentrating without hurting myself. Survived that part eventually. I felt better halfway through because Ty walked past. He waved at me. =) I was happy that I was noticed. That really helped in calming me down.

After gamelan, the first thing I did was to go look for Theo. Another reason to look for Theo was also to ask Ms Lee about Tioman. But didn't manage to because they were taking way too long. Put my bag down before following the group to NUS to eat.

Was happy.

Then back again for astro. Did mostly cleaning of the scope lenses. Sorta difficult but I did it relatively well I guess. Either Theo was lying or I did it well enough. Haha.

Still haven't had any replies for my emails yet.

Oh wells. Today was generally a good day. I just wished I had more days like that.

it's 11:56 PM now on Friday, March 27, 2009



The end of the week
It was an alright week overall, but there's going to be a fair amount of homework during the weekends. I am glad to be able to talk to a few other people these few days. Love them all.
So nice that they'll give me such opportunity to talk to.

How sad that someone professional can fail that badly... Hahas. But oh wells, not my business.

Feel like doing something funny. But I'm actually lazy too although that will be a really funny thing to do. Not to mention FUN. Could just imagine it in my head. All that's missing is the 'reaction' part.

Liked the trip to Queenstown. The free time in the library. The lessons. People. Person.
Mmhmm.

Hates thing. Person.

Came to a conclusion. Some people ought to learn it the hard way. Let them learn the lesson themselves. The pain would be enough to shock them out for a good portion of their lives.

Some sort of support group. Hahas. but they work, really. With my good twisting words and phrases skill, nothing's ever boring. Like how some people grow old together, while others grow stupid together.

I'm not doing or saying certain stuffs just because I will feel good afterwards. Yea, but true, I will feel better afterwards. I do or say certain things because they matter to you. Lol.

Ty is up in the classroom now. It's the loneliest time of the entire weekday length. Weekends are just boring. Nothing to do. except wait for the damn email and replies from the people who have no sense of urgency.

Gamelan later. Sucks. I'll get the others to carry my gongs for me. The good old senior has backache and can't carry anything except herself. How sad. Yeah right...

Today morning was just weird, but fun. Hatched 3 Feebas, but Eugenia conveniently said she forgot her DS! Stupid junior..... Grr.
And also, WTH do you have to make me sit there. Want to bitch also cannot. But good good, thanks for whatever you have to tell me. Thanks for also talking talking. Lol.

I hope Angela doesn't do a duet. Or actually I don't mind if she does. She can probably rub some of her sane thoughts on them. Then maybe some people will start regretting.

Oh anyway, I did decently well for the Bio test. So I'm really happy. Theo scored higher than me! >.< Oh wells. He always does. Approx. 65.5% for me.

Gotta go now, though got a few more stuffs to say. Basically. I'm cheerful enough. At least when Ty's around. There's no reason for Ty to hurt me anyway. Unlike certain people.

it's 3:34 PM now on



HOUSE
Watching House over again.

Realised that I really admire Allison Cameron. The character, not the actress. She's such a strong woman. Like when she tries to reach out to others and her other colleagues laugh at her for it... She still keeps going and she believes in herself. She's very aware of her own feelings and beliefs. And like, although people don't really acknowledge her for any brave act she does, she never stops doing them. No fear of being mocked at.

Wow.

Just sent a really long email. Guess I can't hold it in anymore. I dun think I still have those kind of strength to hold things in now. Maybe next time I will.
Wanna debunk fate.

At least now I have a hand to hold on to. Figuratively speaking.
I'll go wherever he goes.

But right now, gotta focus on planning the Tioman trip before things start becoming stressful. Clear before exams and APs. Need to do it quick.

Sigh. I keep telling myself I'll be fine alone. But apparently not. To a certain degree... Yea, I'm surviving but still. Missing that something that will make me a happy person. Lol.
I'll just see where that ends up.

it's 9:48 PM now on Thursday, March 26, 2009



Events for the day
Man I should learn to take more photos.... Now I dun have any proof of today's event. But the witnesses are around ba.

So, Theodore brought Daniel and Caleb and Cass to Queenstown today! We were there to drink Theo's recommendation: AVOCADO JUICE! Daniel didn't get that though.

Well, it's quite nice. The sweet part is just awesome. But a little bit too creamy. But didn't upset my stomach coz it wasn't milk haha! Caleb was totally being retarded today... Zzz

But other than that, nothing much happened. Managed to talk a little with Daniel, and it was nice being able to just tell someone how you feel. and it doesn't matter how angry you sound.
I hope I'll be able to communicate in this manner with Ty.

Loves Ty...

But still, I'll just stay as a friend. A good one. For now... Unless something changes.
I dun want to go through the same thing over and over again and be stabbed the way I did. *prods wound*
Hope it's healing. Then one day I'll have the courage again.

Sigh. How I wished I had someone here with me.

Times when you're in pain (literally), you just want someone beside you. You know... to make it less painful?

it's 10:08 PM now on Wednesday, March 25, 2009



Oh I feel so sick.
Eww. Sick. Sort of sick.

Confirmed a suspiscion. Actually, it wasn't really a suspiscion. It was more of a random thought, and it was right. Lucky shot.

Juniors never learn.

Didn't do PE today. Back hurt. Got worse.

Now I can't walk without feeling the pain. I hope it goes away soon.

Oh boy, what a bastard.

it's 9:29 PM now on



This day just pisses me off
The only good thing is the apple. Yes, the apple... sigh, the apple.

There was math test today, which i have a good chance of screwing up. A lot of the questions are annoying and I just can't do them. Then there was English and Math.

English was just boring because we spent our time doing compre. Zzz..... i spent more time discussing Tioman than doing the compre la... Got a few names for the trip, which is good. Now need to consult teacher. And there's also the issue on who's going to pay first.

Math was quite alright but felt like sleeping lor. Quite boring, especially since we got a math test first thing in the morning.

Oh yes, and I have a stupid blocked nose for the whole of yesterday AND today. It's very annoying! Can't breathe properly. *huff huff* And my throat is all dry now coz I've been breathing through my mouth. Also, my ears are going to be blocked soon.

On top of that, someone had to upset me by saying something hurtful today. *stares*

I'm so looking forward to the day I can finally point and laugh at people. Specifically a few people. That have been laughing at me or whatever.

Never mind.

talking to mel was quite a gd time too, actually. She has certain amount of experience there so I guess it's nice to know that you're not alone in that aspect.

Sometimes I just got to give up on things. Just close an eye and walk where I want to roam. I may have been hurt before, bled, sweated, and eventually getting nothing.... but i guess that is all part of growing up, of learning about life.

Yes, it is... It's not the end. There will still be someone out there who will touch my heart again. Someday.

And it is her turn to grow up. It may have been quite soon, but she needs to eventually. Good luck, you. I'll be back to laugh.
Or smile. I don't know.

it's 9:22 PM now on Monday, March 23, 2009



I was a happier person...?
Perhaps I would have preferred it to be a mistake. A mistake that I made 3 years ago that led to today... eventually.

If I had just made a firmer choice... I won't be here, thinking about so much stuff now.

Would have avoided it.

But it also poses a question, whether I'd have preferred the easier, lonelier path... or the tough, not-so-lonely path. Hmm...
If the latter weighs me down that much, like now, then perhaps I'd have preferred the former.

But would I be able to survive the loneliness then? Maybe. I'm already surviving now, and... there'd be less weight.

Lil gal, dun make the same mistakes your seniors did. We've been through this, so please believe us on that.
Though I know you'll never see this. But putting this here is just an excuse for me, I'm sorry.

I apologised today. And I'm glad I did. Thanks so much, junior. Thanks so much.

One day I will fly out of the event horizon... No longer will I be affected by the gravity... Of it all.

it's 6:29 PM now on Sunday, March 22, 2009



Rainbow
Is it a coincidence? A sign telling me to be happy?
Yesterday I saw a rainbow at Aaron's house. And today, when the sky was a warm glowing red... Mum told me to take a look at it... And at the corner, I saw another rainbow.

Seeing rainbows two times in a row is actually quite a cool and rare? thing... Haven't seen a rainbow since last year I think, and that was once in a year.

And now, I see two!

Is it a sign....
Sigh.
It makes me feel a lil better but nah, too much negativity still in me.

Juniors are weird people, I guess. Especially those in my school. Most of them do not respect their seniors. Let's say, a Year 1 or 2 to a Year 6. That's like sec 1 or 2 and a J2 person. Any sane person in any mainstream school would respect a JC or poly or equivalent person, as they hold a higher position in society.

But nah, not in my school. Someday, I hope the school drills this in them kids. KIDS! I tell you.

Hmm....

I have just seen a case that will never work out. Or my current calculations tell me they won't work.

On a more slice of my life side, I beat the pokemon elite four on pokemon diamond =)
Yea, after mundane grinding on gravellers, onixes, steelixes, gastrodons, and floatzels... woohoo. Beat them at lvl 52 - 53... Lots and lots of revives, potions, and x-items.
Cost me alot!

Now for more things to do. Since hmm... I just started the fun part of the game.

Oh wells, life is life. It sucks bad when it does suck. But you know what, someday it's not going to suck. Because it will never stay sucky forever. I believe that. My life used to suck a hell lot.

Improved slightly when I was 15. And now I'm 17 going on 18, it's sucking again. So let's wait awhile more and look forward to the say it starts going upwards again.

Cheer me on, peeps. I'll never forget you.

it's 10:41 PM now on Saturday, March 21, 2009



I hope she doesn't see this
For the good of all bearkind, I hope someone doesn't even see this, or even know about this place. Land of the dragons, perhaps, this place is.

Went to Aaron's house today and had some fun playing with Dalton and watching Theodore play patapon2. Patapon2 is actually cooler since u get fever much easier. And also, more classes, minigames, and miracles. Your patapons also have colorful appearances.

Today was quite calm, actually. Went down to Thomson Plaza to help Theo find KFC and watch him eat while he gets me to play patapon2 as well... What was good is that we managed not to stop talking, therefore reducing weird silences.

But I probably have given up hope on anything huge. All I want now is to get into a course of my choice in University. And if there is leftover hope, please just let me chance upon this one friend that will care for me more than just a close friend.

If not then I guess I'll have to wait. It doesn't mean I'm not waiting now... I still am, but I don't wake up everyday hoping that this is the day it will happen. Not anymore, I wake up everyday to know that it is another day counted towards the time we've known each other.

Also, one of my greatest wishes this year that involves other people as well... is to get a proper prom date. In other words, a guy prom date, not a girl.

Oh wells.

Stayed up so late today. Going to sleep soon.

So going to dream of a special someone. Or at least I'm hoping that it'll happen. If not then never mind, I'm not exactly desperately hoping or dreaming of a special someone. Just want a nice dream.

So unfair how people can simply get stuff that I never ever gotten. Even after working my ass off for 17 months. I got nothing, and other person gets it without even doing anything.

Damn. Damn unfair.

it's 1:53 AM now on



Another update
From what I observe,

He's not getting over it. If he was there would be no problem with distance or anything. If he really did stop liking me or anything, it wouldn't matter to him if I did anything to him.

He didn't need to block me if he knew he won't fall for anything I say.

So what? He's going back on his word again?

Perhaps he is. He's just being him. Making empty promises.
Bearbear, you take note of this. Though I doubt you read this blog.
I dun want you to, anyway.

Because you're not gonna cheat by looking at the answer sheet, right?
You be a good girl and stay away from here.
Lest I scare you

Still the same ungrateful self.

If I were to extrapolate into the future with the data I have now, it'll end up just being such a sad ending.

And seriously, are you afraid of yourself falling for me again? Have more confidence in yourself that you won't, can or not?

Stop blocking people everytime they say something you're missing.

I'm gonna start the flaming again soon. and dun blame me if I start using names. REAL names.

You'll be there? Yea right...


Let's just hope you keep to your words.

it's 11:49 PM now on Thursday, March 19, 2009



Update
Just an update over here.

I hereby confirm the existence of a coward.

He was so scared he even blocked me from wherever that is.

it's 11:42 PM now on



A quarter to a thousand
I reread a few of my posts today. Brought back memories.

Through these many months, I think I've already seen one of the most selfish people ever. You know, those sort that never really is grateful for anything?

That's why I pity the next. So the bad person and the worst person? Interesting.

Omg. I'm being cryptic again.

I know this guy who hides behind this imaginery wall of his. And I think it's funny because he flaunts his bravery and all. It's like when he doesn't wanna hear something he just hides behind it, like some eel in a hole. And it's so fun, poking him that way.

I bet he doesn't know I have enough strength now to punch his balls back into his body.
Judging by how weak he is.
*sticks out my tongue at him*

Loser woozer, peety patty bugger.

That ketsuki guy is such a (insert adjective here)... Hmm...

Coward?

Oh...my kiddies like that. They're smiling!
[Sorry I'm being cryptic here.]

And again, WHERE IS TY?!!

it's 10:11 PM now on



tired
Went on a movie spree with Gel and Jack today. Gel sponsored the tix, so thanks Gel~

Did much talking... But I couldn't provide much help. Oops.

And now I'm tired. Really tired.

Still gotta blog though, relieves some stress.

Also, yea, much thanks to Jac.

Rewatching House. Sorta cool, and the characters are interesting.

I'm trying to write a mini memoir but I think it's failing because I'm using a substitute.

I guess substitute's the in thing now.

I really got to start doing my homework. Past few days have been busy.

Well, I wished I was born prettier. But then again, if I did I won't be myself. Sigh.

Writing about three scenarios. Such a pain but I guess it's always better to jot your thoughts down somewhere.

As I said to Gel today... She's sorta lucky to have a forest to begin with (even if she only needed one tree). I dun even have a forest, or a garden... Mine's like, tundra. Nothing there, perhaps the occasional shrub.

I'd love to have a better life... Come on.......
When do these things ever end?
First you screwed with my childhood, now this?
You've gotta be kidding me.

I wanna go home.

Where this home is defined as a place where I matter to someone, where I am loved no matter what. Where people care and not leave me alone. Where I belong.

It may just be a pair of arms waiting to receive me. Just, bring me home.

I just want to..... to be.... cherished.

Sigh.

Where are you, ty?

But it doesn't matter anymore. No matter how hard I try, it's just gonna stay as it is. I will never find Ty. But I really don't care... Even if I didn't matter. Ty's choice.
Besides, I'm not good enough. Never was.

and Ty won't accept me as I am.

Perhaps I have nothing left to give... I've given so much to someone else... Who, has found someone better than I am.

I am sad.

Really.

Really.

Sad...

[I just want a real hug... once more...]

it's 10:11 PM now on Wednesday, March 18, 2009



Exercising more
I'm exercising more in three days than I have been doing for a week. Sunday I was lifting gamelan instruments and swinging pwnful mallets. Monday not too much but did carry stuff around. Tuesday which is today, carry gamelan again.

Not to mention, I had to play on the extremes of the gong stand... Pwned.

Did a slight bit of thinking today. My inner self is still in that mood. I really hope I can get out of it soon. I don't really like the feeling of it. Plus, I dun have any treatment for it. So it's going to stay till the wound closes. No stitches either, it just gotta close by itself.

It's not small, mind you.

And it isn't helping that there's so much going on right now. And the fact that there are certain things affecting me, making me move around so much it isn't really given sufficient time to heal.

I suppose there is a faster way to heal. But it is not easy to obtain.

I really wished stuff like those could be erased.

Don't really want to think about it anymore ever again... but it doesn't work like that.

Like what I told Pamela today. I think it's the most accurate answer, ever. Or a very very clear reflection. Sigh.

Simply put this was how it went,
I do miss him, but I just don't want a relationship.
-If you miss him then why?-
Because...it's just I miss someone being there, perhaps. But he isn't really... someone I can have a relationship with in the end. He already wasn't fully there sometime ago.

And after that it was a lot of running it through my mind.

Sigh. I don't love him. I see him as a good friend.

Yea, you could just poke me, mess my hair up, whatever. Seriously, do whatever you want to me. I suppose it will make me feel better to a certain extent.
Somehow puts up an illusion that there is someone close enough to tease me.

Now I know why people punch the wall. When you're so tensed up inside, punching something feels really good. Especially when you deal a very strong blow. But punching is a bad thing, it's violence.

Now...
Where's Ty?

Sigh. It's so unfair you choose them instead of us. We did ask first.

it's 9:09 PM now on Tuesday, March 17, 2009



5 facts about me...
1.
When I was young, people somehow seldom speak to me in chinese. Either that or they start talking in Malay and I was like... huh? Lol, that was coz I seemed like a Malay back then when I was small. I'm Chinese!

2.
I like bunnies and giraffes. At first I really loved giraffes, and still do, but then I realised there weren't giraffe stuffed animals out there. So... I love bunnies too. Haha.

3.
I only started wearing skirts again 2 years ago. When I was a kid, my relatives used to make fun of me when I wear a dress/skirt, so I stopped wearing them when I was in Primary 1 (except for school uniforms). And started wearing skirts coz Gel inspired me to. =) Good influence.

4.
I first pierced my ears last year. Yea, I feel so lagged up.

5.
I'm a 'half-blood' local. My mum came from Malaysia, and my dad is Singaporean.



=)


Okay now... Cass tags.... Everyone who reads this!

it's 2:56 PM now on Monday, March 16, 2009



246
Post no. 246, lol.

Shall blog about today.
So we went to republic polytechnic to prac Gamelan. The set there was cool, and everything was ginormous. It's like Macs upsize or something.

I looked at the gong ageng and I was like, wth....
Then I looked at the mallet and I was like, WTH!

It was big and heavy. Like, seriously, heavy.

But I loved the gong suwukan coz it has a really lovely sound.

I hate the mallets!
Someone save me from the mallet!

My left arm is now aching coz gong ageng was on the left side and i had to use the supersize mallet with my weaker left arm.
Ouch.

But shifting the instruments were fun. My muscles seem to be much happier after not doing cheerleading for so long.

I wonder if I'm going to get any calls next year. I hope I do ba.
If not I'll be upset too.

*hugs*
Thanks.

it's 10:10 PM now on Sunday, March 15, 2009



Blogging in chinese seem to be the trend now. So I shall blog in chinese for this post. It's also coz I think he doesn't read my blog and even if he did then he probably would be too lazy to go translate it.

最近,你开心多了吧。。。
虽然我自己知道我对你来说只是普通的朋友,
但你对我来说是个非常重要的人。
你小小的一举一动,就已经足够让我微笑了。
橙子哥哥总是要我告诉你,
但是我不肯。
因为我知道你是不会喜欢我的。
还是希望你会。

知道你不是属于我的。
所以每当你对被人特别亲切,
我都没话说。
但我心里,还是希望你会一样的对待我。
因为我现在真的好孤独。
如果可以的话,
我真的很希望能够和你谈心事。

你。。。真的不会喜欢我吧。

谢谢你,昨晚终于对我说声晚安。
让我真得开心多了。

期待着再次看到你。
放假了,怎么办?
其实。。。星期一也能看到你吧。
好期待哦。。。

再次前我的手好吗?
再次靠过来,好吗?

每次都听到某某人在那里炫耀。
我真的好讨厌,好讨厌哦!
为什么?
为什么你会这样,让他在那里笑我。。。

好像靠在你肩膀上哭泣。
我已经厌倦自己在暗地里哭了。
我不想再听到某某人笑我。
说我根本没本事,没用。

现在,我只有你了。

it's 10:55 PM now on Saturday, March 14, 2009



I had an alright day today.

A bunch of us got accused of plagiarism for bio assignment. But in actual fact, we ALL did not, because we used his notes. Yes, the notes given to us for lesson. I think this is quite dumb, like, I mean... are we supposed to get really low marks to show that we do not plagiarize?

Then Theo was so angry la.... And I was too. *inserts imaginery curse*

Went to do IR. Was alright. Although I got bitten by mozzitos. I was the only one exposed coz the others in the lab were wearing long pants, or jeans. Curses! I got like so many bites. So unfair wan... Ms Tsan guessed that blood type correctly based on that -_-

The best part was my chat with Ms Lee. It was quite interesting.

Holidays are coming. Blah. I think I'm gonna hate it to a certain extent. No friends, no buddies. No smiles.

I hope something miraculous comes soon. I really hope so.

And I shouldn't be feeling like that.
Sigh.

I really shouldn't. But I want a reason to smile.
Can you do me a favor...
Only you. That's you.
It's you.
You make all the difference.

it's 4:01 PM now on Friday, March 13, 2009



Today the average
Today was a mix of good and horrible, I guess. but I should learn to be more happy sometimes. It's not all the time that I get a person like that around me. And so I should be happy that I actually HAVE such a person, not keep being upset because that's all that can be done.

Although, I really do hope more can be done. Sighx.

Holding hands again would be fun. If I could I'd throw in a hug as well.
>.<

Today was PE. Had a small class so all we did was 2.4km run. I ran 16.5 minutes. Which is an improvement and a deprovement at the same time. I do hope I can run a little faster. Everytime I run I switch to my blank state, which means I'm letting my memories run by as well. And that makes me run faster. Maybe coz I'm trying to 'run' away from them?

Oh ya, and for ACE today, the year 7s came back to give us all a talk about life in NS. Which is cool because there isn't any session that was funner. It was more informal and we were enjoying it more.

Math today was alright. Mostly pressin the calculator like mad.

After that, we attempted to do IR but decided against it because mr. Soh was still using the lab. And we wanted to go SSEF @ science center.
So we left soon after.

At SSEF, the girls and the guy was more or less split up for awhile. It was calm at first, coz there were very very few people around. Went around saying hi to the people who were at their booths. And talked to a few of them about their projects.

Obviously I only talked in depth with the Biology projects, I totally couldn't understand ANYTHING outside biology. I liked Aaron's and Darren's projects. And Pamela's project too but hers was a little more complicated.

After that, we decided to go eat at Macs. For a little while. Yeps.

And while we were at Macs, BUSLOADS of NUSH students arrived. So we knew we were gonna be so frustrated when we finally get back. Which was true, because it was just SO crowded. Slacked around a little and met the Year 5s on the way.

Anyway, the results were out a little while later. John passed me his SLR, lol yay. But was too lazy to put on the lens that lets you zoom, so I ended up taking photos without the zoom function. Which was sort of bad because you can't take close shots. But I got a few cool shots I guess.

NUSH had quite little awards this year. Pamela's group got a prize! Woohoo...

Actually, not being in SSEF is both a sad and happy thing. I really wanted our names to appear on the list on the concourse. But of course that'd mean MORE MORE work. which is bad. Sighs.

Blah. random time.
It was a really hard to swallow day as well. Because the weather sucked.
Also, I realise I dun get sick easily. Even if I do I'm only sick for like, 2 to 3 days max?

And my MCS never reach PE. So I have to do PE even when I'm just recovered. And I haven't gotten it to last that long, even after PE.

Lol. which is good in a way. Coz it's INDEPENDENCE, baby!
But it isn't ALL good. You get stuff like, people caring less about you coz you dun need it. But it helps when I miraculously can get into medicine. Then I can help other people and care for other people =)

I wanna work in the ER next time! Of course, that's my ambition. Getting there is like climbing Mt. Everest.

And you know what? Tigerboy, you're a great person! XD

.hearts.

Lawl.

it's 10:26 PM now on Thursday, March 12, 2009



Another post for today
Sunday I'm going to have dinner with RuiHan korkor~ Happy coz I haven't seen him for a whole friggin' year. Can't believe it la, he so nice to me and I totally just dao him like that. I'm so sorry korkor...

And Ruihan korkor is like the nicest nicest korkor out there. And he wants everyone around him to be happy. The best thing is, he ALWAYS encourages me. And everytime I have a certain achievement, no matter how small, he will ALWAYS tell me that I've done well.

Which really helped a lot because it boosted my confidence a lot. =D

I hope he finds a GF soon. Coz I think it would be a pity if he couldn't find any girl. He's just too nice! why do nice people always end up last harh... Sighx. This is unfair. Ruihan korkor deserves much more.

I'm going to start smsing him more often. To make up for the past when I had to stop smsing him.

It was an okay day. We had pizza for lunch today coz there weren't many 6D people around, so we ordered in. Mr Gerald was nice enough to elt us order it during lesson and collect it near the end of lesson. He was more slack on the rules today I guess.

When we wanted to plan the lunch thing, we were debating whether Mr Gerald would allow. So we told Vanessa to go negotiate with him. Coz we all thought she was THE-chem-person. And we'd be THE-bio-people. But in the end, Vanessa did convince Mr. Gerald la.

We used Vanessa's phone to call the pizza dude. But Gel was the one talking. So in the background Nes was yelling a few negative comments and all... So Gel, against Nes's wishes, submitted name as Vanessa. Lol.

Ah wells. Having a small class is fun sometimes. But it can be quite intensive. Like math. It was a full 1 hour of doing and doing. And thinking and pressing GC.
After that we went to do IR, and we were half-dead. X.x

Yay! I finally got the song I was looking for~

Those songs are nice. Love songs.

I guess they help to a certain extent...

Heehee.

Happy 11th, everyone!
11th has always been a day I look forward to. Because I believe good things have a higher probability of happening on a day you love the most.

Sometimes it doesn't happen but it doesn't hurt to look forward to day like that.
I hope this lucky thing would come back again.

So for tonight, the think the relic has some significance.

it's 10:18 PM now on Wednesday, March 11, 2009



Hinder - Without You
I just wanna be alone tonight
I just wanna take a little breather
Cause lately all we do is fight
And every time it cuts me deeper

Cause something’s changed
You’ve been acting so strange
And its taking its toll on me
Its safe to say that I’m ready to let you leave
Without you, I live it up a little more everyday
Without you, I’m seein myself so differently
I didn’t wanna believe it then
But it all worked out in the end
When I watched you walk away
Well I never thought id say
I’m fine
Without you

Called you up cause’ it’s been long enough
And you said that you were so much better
We have done a lot of growing up
We were never meant to be together

Cause something changed, you were acting so strange
And it’s taken its toll on me
It’s safe to say that I’m ready to let you leave

Without you, I live it up a little more everyday
Without you, I’m seein myself so differently
I didn’t wanna believe it then
But it all worked out in the end
When I watched you walk away
Well I never thought id sayI’m fine
Without you

Cause something changed, you were acting so strange
And it’s taken its toll on me
It’s safe to say that I’m ready to let you leave

Without you, I live it up a little more everyday
Without you, I’m seein myself so differently
I didn’t wanna believe it then
But it all worked out in the end
When I watched you walk away
Well I never thought id say
I’m fine,Without you
Without you
Without you
Without you
I just wanna be alone tonight,
I just wanna take a little breather.




I still have my relic, anyway. I love my relic, as much as I (did) love him.
I wonder how much it is worth to him.

And if he's lurking here he'll probably see this.
At least, I hope he still is?

I think friends are fine. It's good. Yea, it is.

It's been some time... And all I hear in my head are echoes (echoes... echoes...). Words that I long to hear, again.

Just three words.
I Love You.

I shall think that people who's got those words said to them are the luckiest people around. And I believe so. Again...

Those are the hardest words to hear now. Three precious words.
From one to another.
I crave those words, they'll be enough to calm me down for a month or so right now.
And regular doses will help me push the floods back and keep those things behind those floodgates.

I hope. I wait...

Someday, I'll hear it again.

it's 9:14 AM now on



Those eyes.
I've been thinking of what to type for quite some time... Hmm...

Okay, let's start with something less emotional. And something cliche, called Pokemon.

Over the past few days, I caught 3 legendary pokemon. The first was Dialga, and it was a funny and fortunate incident. Was engaged in a double battle, after which my buddy healed my party. Then i thought could save game, but actually cannot! So I had no choice but to proceed with the battle with the Cyrus boss. Lucky lucky, I defeated him. With like, 4 pokemon down. And 2 left. And i stupidly, forgot to save game AGAIN. I took a step forward, and the animation played bringing me straight into battle with legendary Dialga.

I was like, "SHIT!!!!!" So i tried my luck with a quick ball. ONE only. And I freaking caught it! OMG!

Today, I caught Azelf and Uxie. I like Azelf better coz Uxie is like, so freaking ugly. But strong anyways so it's still useful.

And that's about it.

Today was a good day, I suppose. Did a bit of IR, and Theo and I caught up with Mr. Yap. It was a fun session.

Overall a slack day, because English was only about watching a video. Math was quite alright coz Ms Lee was being very patient.

Then it was IR, where we spent quite some time. That sort of time is... priceless. Like, seriously... i wished I had more of such time.

Today I went to visit a relic. Still felt the same. To a certain extent it had been my best friend since... a couple years ago. When I felt there was nobody there for me, I'd put it near me and it feels slightly better. I refuse to let go of it.

Afterall, it's the only thing that currently links two people.


I stood on the roof, confident nobody would find me.
I was happy, yet sad.
And it was time for me to embrace this sadness.
Once again.
Chose a corner and sat down, I started thinking.
Closed my eyes.
And let the memories flood my mind once more.
Those painful memories.
I chose the relatively recent ones.
Then being aware of current situations,
I felt the impact of that hurt.
That bone crushing pain.
How I wished whatever ended could last.
But it can't. Not ever. I think.
Because I would never mean anything.
In the end, I'm nothing more than a mere mortal.
A pawn sacrificed, for nobody.

Discussions today brought about a lot of questions in me. A simple talk about birthdays...
Made me think. Hmm...

it's 10:10 PM now on Tuesday, March 10, 2009



Join the party, gals!
Okay, I'm officially in, gals. Next time you have a sleepover, call me. I'd love to tell you all the stories I've collected since I dunno when. Haha!

And we'd have so much fun gossiping... umm. What if it's gossiping without the speculation part? Is there a term for it? I duno.
But I guess should open it up to more gals with the same past.

But ytd was such a fun session...

Anyway, I sorta figured he doesn't read my blog. If he did he'd be... different, I guess. But it's gd in its own way. Yea, I'm not making sense here. I know.

But if people really wanted to understand me, I trust they'll ask me. And now, I know who cares. Yes, people bother to ask. Okay now?

Somehow I imagine myself to be leaning on the wall, looking up at the night sky. And yes, there's orion. Orion always reminds me of something that I cannot understand or grasp. It's like, staring at something that's there, but you can feel, see, or hear it. But it's there, it's waiting, and it's watching over me.

I'm always wondering if there's that special someone out there for me. If there isn't, that's just sad. But I'm sure there is. Of all the gazillions of people here, I bet there is one that is for me. And waiting, that's all we're doing.

I wonder... when I'm hurt, will he feel the pain as well? And when I suddenly feel the pain, is that when he's hurting? When he's crying? Nvm... People are probably going to laugh at me for this.

All but one.

Yea, he'll never hurt me. I can trust on that.

Somehow, I really wonder if the rape thing is actually true.

it's 9:22 PM now on Sunday, March 8, 2009



How much respect?
'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
'Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Apparently if I weren't 'saved' by someone out there, I'd be raped in the future.
-Really?-

Anyways, I don't know. And somehow I'm already 'saved'. And so goodbye, I'm tossed out of the boat and left to float.

Now I open my eyes to see the corruption amongst the next generation, of 1992 and beyond?
But never mind, maybe it's only here.

Strange how the currently neighboring years aren't close. We were very close to the yr7s.
Also interesting to note that we dun exactly like them either. Could it be because the school pays so much attn to them and not much to us? Or is it coz of that, and more? Like, they're more rowdy, more troublesome... ok nvm.

I wanna live out the last of my high school days with my yr 6 buddies. They come from different schools and all and are a generally fun bunch. They've got life, or most of them do. And they are SANE and genrally more...... OPEN-EYED. Guess it's the exposure.

But I can say my schooling life isn't as vibrant as it should have been. Or what I've been looking forward to the first day I stepped into this phase of life. And the first day, meaning, the preschool days. My preschool days were horrible. I shudder at the thought of it and am amazed I actually survived it. So after preschool I've made a resolution that I'd live the rest of my schooling days a very happy one.

Yes, it was happy, generally... umm... borderline happy. But it just lacked what I was looking for, and so I'm still quite disappointed. It's too late to do anything though, because it is just impossible to find it within a year. Not like I've been lazy and not searching for it. I have been searching. I just couldn't find or obtain it. Sighs.

For now I've settled for something simple. And I'm grateful.

I'm sad, but so what? Not like anybody's going to do anything. It's the same thing again, sit in a corner and wait for it to tide over, wait for it to wash over my body, mind and soul. And seek temporary solace in the night, the temporary embrace of sleep. Comforting myself.

A lone paladin stands with her sword.
Her long bronze hair flutters as the evening wind blows.
Her eyes out of focus as she leant on her sword.
Waiting for her wounds to heal.
Waiting for time.
And waiting for the person who reaches.
A person who won't draw a sword to her,
someone who never runs in fear.
She yearns for a bath and a no,
not a bed, but arms she can rest in.

nope, not doing the interesting thing yet. Sorry.

And Aaron I owe you a link on my blog. Sorry.

I.. won't meet him until I start working...
Until then. Wait for me.
We'll meet. Definitely.
And we'll never let go.

it's 5:25 PM now on Saturday, March 7, 2009



Work n more work
Sien work is coming. thre's 5 jian baos to do!!! I hate it. All the work coming in now isn't fun at all to do.

and I duno if i have the time to do something interesting here. Spent much time trying to draw a representative animal for a external friend. I bet it's sort of like a peace offering.

Also, I had to do it because that cubby MUST be the only unique animal. Can't believe it, two people liking the same animal?! Damn......... Of course, my cubby is the bestest. But it didn't mean I put in no effort into drawing it kkay.... I spent so much more time on the 2nd cubby.

But i like my first cubby better. OF COURSE RIGHT~!

Cubby cubby.

Actually, was quite happy today. Coz... wheeheeehee it had the bestest ending.

It just whacked a smile on my face that i cant get off. Which is GD.

it's 1:18 AM now on



Changed my wallpaper
...on my computer.

A rather peaceful day. Except for a little at the front. Tomorrow I'm gonna do something different on my blog... or uhm maybe saturday.

I loved how it ended today. It was the calmest, most secure moment. Smiling my way home.

I guess that was all I needed to calm me down. That kind of... 'Hey, I know ur there. ur there, and i know ur there.' sort of thing. For a lil while, perhaps I meant something.
Thank you, torakun.

どもありがとう。

And that is why I am willing to do almost anything for you.

Zedzedzed.

Tomorrow is such a weird day. Question mark day. And actually I dun really want tomorrow to arrive. For simple reasons like, I say seeya at 1.30pm.

Weebam! I'm dreading it.

I just wished life could be so much better.

A random thought. It's quite sad that many people love doing something but are never good at it... and it's quite unfair how some ppl who can do something so well... hate what they're doing.

it's 10:33 PM now on Thursday, March 5, 2009



Should I move?
Actually, I also don't know whether I should move. I love the address here and all, the blog... And people know it as well. Sometimes not the right people, but oh wells. If they aren't the right people then I should move. Because people who read this blog, are usually those that are bored.

That is why, if I'm not wrong at all. People who hate me are still lurking around here, somewhere. Not that I'm chasing them away. It's just.... weird.

Waiting for an email. After which I got to make a choice.

This is all going to be over in a few month's time. I'm not really looking forward to that time, not really, because it's all going to be so sad as well. There're pros and cons to everything, right? Is it just worth to be happy about just because of one or two individuals?

Yea, those people that make my life a sorry life. Points.

But yet there are those people who make me smile. And I won't bear to leave them. Those that have stood by me. Or gave me a chance.

Oh wells.

Lurking people. Understood.

it's 8:43 AM now on



Writings of emotionals
Because friendship is so valuable, I can't ever bring myself to see two people fall apart.
Being a person with a childhood with friendships so rare... Any friend beside me has betrayed me... I probably can't just tell myself not to care.

If it's for a friend, I won't even think of caring for myself.

Besides, I'm worth so little in this world already. To the extent that nobody really truly wants to care.

I thought it was going to be all over two years ago. Because someone did care, for some strange reason. Little did I know it was just a relapse in disguise.

I said, a year and a half later, that we could continue being friends. And now, where have I ended up. Being told to scram, even after all I've done. To get lost, after all the time I'd dedicated.

The tears taste exactly the same as they were 17 years ago. The bitter saltishness of abandonment, of helplessness.

Because of my classmates lies, I received treatment like a freak of nature. Because of them, my parents turned their backs on me, and though I cried for some form of warm touch, they never gave it to me when I most needed it.

When I apologised for a crime I didn't even commit, I knelt down on my little knees and begged for my mum's forgiveness, while i held her warm hands in mine. She dragged me across the rough kitchen floor on my knees without a care. She didn't even turn to look at me.

Dad slapped me on my face. He didn't even hear me out. Didn't even give me a chance to say sorry for the crime I did not commit.

I can never forget those moments. I tried to, but someone opened the floodgates awhile back. And they're back to haunt me.

How I wished I can just dump my life on another person to be responsible for it. Or not, someone, just beat me till my death. Just like how it used to be.

Can I trust you?

Just turn an eye to me.
Tell me everything's gonna be fine.

That nobody else will leave me alone ever again.


maybe i'll migrate next time, to start my life again. Run away from this past of mine.

Of how much I gave yet nobody reciprocated.

Of you.
How you came to rip me apart. Even after all I've done for you. Encouraged you to work hard, to stop self-mutilating. How you still could bear to toss me aside even after all that.

Of everyone else, those who never took the time to understand yet yell at me. Of those who were selfish enough not to listen yet demanded my help.

Of them, those who betrayed my trust. Those who never waited for me yet demanded me to wait for them. Those who never treasured real friends.

Friendship. And love.

I wonder when. When will people truly look where I trod, reach out to me when I really needed a hand.
Perhaps, never...

All I got to do now is to protect him. My little pet. I'd do anything. And after that, if nothing happens, I'm done. I won't trust any person anymore until someone reaches out to me, deep inside me.

How I wished my mum would stop and look at her only daughter. And tell me I'm the best person she's ever met. How I wished she'd stop reprimanding me for every single mistake.

How I wished my dad would actually care. Would actually go the extra mile for me, and stop saying that I'm a burden. How I wished he would at least protect me a little. Give a little warmth.

I dun have anyone else to talk to right now. Talk, as in, to listen to me, what I have to say or what I think. Someone who cares enough to listen and feel as I do.

I've been bottling up for so long now. So much I'd like to tell, to say, to express. But there's nobody to tell, to talk, to watch.

Maybe after today I'll go on haitus status... Or perhaps shift my blog address. If nobody cares enough to read, to understand, why should I keep it where people know? The comments I receive are mostly hate comments, or flames. And when I say something right, nobody comments anyway.

You left me in the darkness.
And for that, I'll never forget you, who you are.

it's 6:50 PM now on Wednesday, March 4, 2009



Felt like blogging
Nothing really very much to blog about here. But just wanna write something here for the fun of it.

Well, there's this person that was on my msn list for a very long time already, like perhaps... sec 2? Then i haven't talked to him for a very long time, coz the only time i talked to him last time was... occassionally. I sort of forgot why he was on my contact list, but if i never remember wrongly, it was coz of RO.

So just today he said hi and talked a lil bit before realising that I'm from NUS High school, and he stayed in the hostel last year! Lol.

And the thing is, we've met before. Never talked face to face, but he was a little bigshot in hostel.

A little advertisment for him here, Yr 6s out there I'm sure you've seen him around =)
GETREALSHORTY.blogspot.com

Anyways... I hope I'm getting closer to something because there's thing feeling upon me that something's going to happen. Hmm, more of like, something's going to just show up and reveal itself. Good or bad, I dunno.

Wait, I dun even know if it'll happen, lol.

But honestly, if things would change, I hope it only changes to be better. Idealistic, yes... But dun want to lose it, ya know? It's either to risk it or not to risk it.

Ah wells, I guess the loss if as huge as the gains. Z.z.z....

it's 6:42 PM now on Tuesday, March 3, 2009



If it doesn't make sense of you, then get out la. Nobody ask you to read or make sense of anything here right... Or maybe you're too noob to understand? Besides, you're not a girl and don't think like a girl [same goes for WC].

Hmm. How I know you're a guy? Coz a guy who flames has no style. And since you used dots, probably style-less. And ur face is probably pimply by now since you're hiding behind dots. Lol.

Makes sense? No? Okay, then it's time for you to get out. Quit stalking someone that dun make sense to you. OR if that's your hobby then u can just continue stalking. But remember stalking means you make no noise, and therefore u should just shut up.

Warning here.


So anyways, I'm back in school. Some guys are playing dota. One day they shall be caught. Still dun get why people of certain authority only catch those that play on handheld devices, and let those computer game players go scott-free. Isn't it obvious they're playing as well?

Why catch those people playing on handheld devices, who dun kope any internet bandwidth.... And let those that utilise the internet to play? Oh and in case Rubbish is still reading this, I shall state here that computer games doesn't ONLY include dota, and includes all computer games including flash games.

I suppose Aaron's sorta lucky in a sense he has people who hamtam annoying people for him. But unlucky also coz he's been putting up with it for a very long time already. As for me, there are people who actually add to the madness.

Dude, you won't just smile to a stranger that punches you in the face, right? I suppose he does, since he acts all cool on the surface. And the point is, he doesn't give a shit about anyone else except one person. So I shan't comment on it THAT much. It's just him being him. Oh eww. Now I wonder who's better or worse?

Zzz. Okay. I suppose Rubbish is still reading this. And thinking to his great self, "Why, this doesn't make sense at all!" So I'm gonna make this obvious to him, THIS ONLY MAKES SENSE TO ME UNLESS YOU KNOW ME VERY VERY WELL. IT'S NOT SUPPOSE TO MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION.

it's 10:31 AM now on Monday, March 2, 2009



A few things to write about
Astronomy @ NUS
It rained yesterday, which is sort of sad because we were supposed to do star gazing. I was 1 of the three year 6s that turned up. Quite bad. But I guess it wasn't super bad since Eugenia was there and she's just a great buddy. Watched 'Voices of a distant star', it was really short. Then we had a discussion with pro people wrt the show. Quite interesting topics were brought up, and discussions were cool. Could learn many theoretical stuff.

Prof Jocelyn Bell's talk was interesting as well. I learnt more stuff about Astronomy, which is good because I only have a year to learn as much as possible in a learning environment. But the gaament says live till old, learn till old. So hmm, I wonder if I'll still have that kind of spirit after leaving the school.

The world is dying (not the world, lol)
Had a brief talk with mum just now. We were eating ice cream in the kitchen. Then we noticed that Singapore isn't exactly a very green country. Yea, the gaament tells us to save water and electricity, and all that stuff... but that's just us doing our part. Maybe the gaament shouldn't keep destroying those foresty areas to build roads. There's this place near my house, which used to be a big patch of green and trees. Then when I came home from hostel one day, poof, I saw this one whole strip of green, GONE. And they happen to be building a road, right smack in the middle of the green.

Obviously I was annoyed. I bet in 10 years or less, we would be garden city no more. Coz everything is just buildings and roads. And houses are becoming ridiculously small these days. Small and expensive.

People
If you want to say something, say it yourself. Stop camouflaging behind dots just to put people down. Even the WC leaves his initials there when trying to shoot me down.

And anyway, this is a blog. Which means I type how I feel. I dun need some dots to come tell me I'm being stupid coz I do something but I just hate it. If you know me, you could just come and sya it straight to my face that I'm an ass. Fine. But if you don't know me, and use some dots to come scold me.... I don't think it's very appropriate because (1) you don't identify yourself, and (2) you have no ground to say that.

So Rubbish, if you really think I'm stupid, Come look for me in person and say it in my face. It's not a threat. Besides, there's this part a little up there that you can click if you dislike reading this blog. So click it whenever you drop by or something. If not, identify yourself, or just shut up and scram.

And WC, you should do things by yourself and stop hiding behind whatever you're hiding behind now. You're also one who is doing something you want to do, but you just dun like doing it. So, yea, you get my point.

My DS
Here I'd like to say that I'm NOT going to lend my DS to anyone who isn't a close friend of mine. Or close enough friend of mine.

The reason is that, you guys just treat me like a dispenser after that. And also, you poke my DS and I don't like it.

If you're a friend a mine, but not close enough, BUT you do own a DS, then I might consider lending my DS to you. If you really want to, like desperate for it.

But strictly no touching the following games:
ALL pokemon related games, Etrian Odyssey, Nintendogs, Ragnarok Online, Puchipuchi virus, and Unsolved crimes.
OBVIOUSLY NO surpassing the level I am at currently for ANY game.

Japan presentation
I'm almost done with the Nanao part. And I hate doing the ISSF part. I'm like, solo-ing it now because the people just push the responsibility around and in the end, nobody does it and we're all screwed. So I'm starting to do it first, so we won't get screwed.

It's damn a lot of work. At least Nanao has less pictures to look through. I dun even want to think about the ISSF photos. It's spammage.

Therefore, I need HELP doing this powerpoint, okay? Can y'all please just help or something? Like come up with a template thingy.... umm, tell me what to put in the slides?
And I guess it helps if you guys are gonna be satisfied with the slides coz it would be quite annoying if you keep complaining and doing nothing about it.
If someone does something for you, just be appreciative okey.
Okey, got it?

it's 9:18 PM now on Sunday, March 1, 2009



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