Though, it is somehow irritating when people randomly come to msn and say 'Woohoo! Freedom!'

When I say random, I mean like, I do know the person but am not that emotionally, or psychologically close to them.

Anyway I've been thinking a lot as usual. And I think to myself, is there anything deeper than what we see the world as now. It is quite alright to be living here I guess. But, maybe it's just me, I feel like humans have become what Biologists call "invasive species".

And so I wonder, whoever gave us this intelligence? Was it when Adam and Eve ate the fruits of the tree that God told them not to eat, that gave them this intelligence and thus we are this intelligent? Or has evolution made it such that humans, the non-hairy apes, are more intelligent?

If it was Adam and Eve, then I might just think that God is kinda disappointed in us coz we were created in His image and now have intelligence, and we are destroying the world around us that He created for us. Also, we use this intelligence to cheat and deceive, to desire for something we might not even deserve... I don't think God wanted humans to use our intelligence this way.

And about evolution. This intelligence we have is destroying the world we live in. I'm talking about depleting ozone layers, fossil fuels, and melting ice caps. If evolution meant the survival of the fittest, by making us humans the top organisms of the whole system of life, aren't we destroying it as well? See, when we destroy our environment, nothing else lives. Perhaps only some microorganisms, or creatures that live so deep down in the world (those depths that humans never can reach) will survive.

We are destroying ourselves, ultimately, are we not?

Maybe it won't happen in our generation, and that's what people believe. But this is selfish thinking. Our future generations will think of us as destroyers and selfish people. We leave them to clean up our mess, while we sit here thinking they can. What if they can't?

In any case, several mass extinctions have taken place on our planet Earth. I don't deny that one day in the far future, that the human race will be wiped out, bringing the other creatures and organisms with us. And I just hope that the next generation, the next era, the living creatures will learn to love and take care of our planet, better then we do.

Umm... So fast right, exams coming...Yea. Then exams over, work for PA, go PA, go SCamp, go SOW, then sch start again wth...

Cannot tahan this kind of life. Firstly, the reminder everyday that I suck really sucks. I don't know why sia... I study so frikkin' hard, then I get 39 out of 50... But it isn't even good enough. I don't understand why I love Biology so much, study Biology so much, still not good enough. Oh my gosh, what else do they want from me...

KNS. Really super KNS this sytem. I got a D the previous time, probably a C or D again this time... Coz like, median score is 42. Yea, that is how it goes, you think you're okay, but you suck. There goes my pull-up CAP for this sem. And to think, I hoped that with the topics I love so much, I would be able to maybe perform a little better.

And this happens.

School is really unfair sometimes. Why can't they switch to a fulfillment system... Where they don't grade, but go on a S/U system for everything. Unless you really catch no ball for that module then you get a S. We are already in uni le, still need to 'chromatograph' sumore. As if there aren't enough elitist programs hanging around in school.

I don't know what the hell is wrong with the world. I spend less money to get into a better university and end up at the lower trenches of the cohort. I spend so much back then to bring me a step closer to what I really want, and end up being lousier than anyone else.

Feel like such a failure. Did not get to NUS High to achieve such lousy standards.

Sigh.

Sometimes, it's easier to imagine that you were never here. Rather than being here, worrying about how to survive.

In any case, trying to multi-task here.

Haven't blogged in awhile.

Sometimes, I look upon Facebook, and realize how disconnected I am with my NUSH people. This is especially true for those not studying at NUS, or those that are in NUS and not participating in activities.

I guess it is partly because I am always busy doing Science Club stuff. And also coz none of the NUS people taking life sciences are in the same subject group as me. So I don't see them that much if they don't hang around the Science activities..

And the other people, I don't know. Maybe I just never managed to form a close enough bond with them? Which is kinda sad really... Coz I really liked my NUS High days.

Those NS guys just seem so, unknown to me now. And there are some who were quite good friends with me, yet they just don't seem to remember me.

Sigh.

Also, I'm just so busy with schoolwork. Who knew, the students here study so hard that if I don't study, I'll fail. I'm not a bad student, and I love what I study. However, it is just not enough, you know... something isn't... right.

I always thought things could be accomplished if you had the passion for it. But it's just not true where I am... Coz I like what I study yet I don't do well.

Grades don't matter. That's what you say when you are getting good results... The rest who don't get good results, become slaves of the grades. And no matter what you say, grades do matter to us.

We love you, yes, but employers love our results more. Thus, they love you more. And that's not good for us, sorry.

Alright, I am getting damn frustrated already. Byebye.