I have been out shopping more often nowadays, in great preparation for my first prom.
Which is a month later.
I don't really know what else to post on this blog because I do understand people get sick of me writing all the unhappy stuff here. But I guess that hurt does leave a bigger impression on people than do happy stuff.
Like even in the working world, one mistake is sufficient for people to ignore all your other good points.
But for this past year, now I can safely say one year... I haven't really been happy.
All I wanted for, didn't come. All I wished for never came true. All I worked for did not pay off.
And I end up losing more than I gain.
Do you think when people say 'good luck' to you, it actually works?
I think it does, because not many people say good luck to me, and my luck is, I bet, worse than anyone else's.
I'm beginning to feel like I place too much trust in people.
Hell, I just want to...
Sigh.
Gimme a break, would you, and stop tormenting me this waY?
Which is a month later.
I don't really know what else to post on this blog because I do understand people get sick of me writing all the unhappy stuff here. But I guess that hurt does leave a bigger impression on people than do happy stuff.
Like even in the working world, one mistake is sufficient for people to ignore all your other good points.
But for this past year, now I can safely say one year... I haven't really been happy.
All I wanted for, didn't come. All I wished for never came true. All I worked for did not pay off.
And I end up losing more than I gain.
Do you think when people say 'good luck' to you, it actually works?
I think it does, because not many people say good luck to me, and my luck is, I bet, worse than anyone else's.
I'm beginning to feel like I place too much trust in people.
Hell, I just want to...
Sigh.
Gimme a break, would you, and stop tormenting me this waY?
The most unjustified case of today and maybe next time
Today was generally an okay day, but the morning part was really terrible. The place was hot. The speakers were booming. The voices drone on. People walking in weird patterns. Lengthened whispers of last minute decisions.
To top it off.... The unjustice of the 'commendable leadership' certifications.
Let me talk more about it.
So there were a handful of recipients. Some of them worthy or receiving it, and some weren't. In any case, this post isn't a flame post so I am not writing about those recipients.
The main categories went like that: Present councillors, CCA leaders, Present mentor representatives.
By the way, this is assuming that this 'commendable leadership' certificate is given out to people in Year 6, not a yearly event.
Firstly, councillors. I find it really convenient how they just take the names of those in council and plop it in to the recipients list. Like, do they even bother evaluating the contributions to the student council and the school?
Also, WHAT THE CRAP happened to the PSLs? The PSL board is shut down for still less than and year, and the school conveniently, FORGETS that it even existed.
So that means, those PSLs that worked for 2 years before someone's great idea to get rid of it, in paper have never done anything to deserve a certificate that is so easily given to people's names who are in the council right now?
I'll talk more about the PSLs later.
Secondly, CCA leaders. Last year, they gave all president and vice president positions to the year 4s for the supposed backup LEAPS system. And coz of that, the year 6s this year didn't get such a chance. Some CCAs though, still had people from our batch as presidents, somehow.
If a handover was done this year, does that mean that those people never done anything?
If a student CCA leader who has worked for a year, this year, can get such a certificate, don't those CCA leaders last year deserve one too?
Thirdly, mentor representatives. They were only given to the mentor representatives who worked for this year. What about the previous years? From year 3 to 5?
So if the current mentor representatives can get a certificate for that, why don't the previous mentor reps deserve one too?
If all it takes to receive an award for 'commendable leadership' is to hold a leadership position in the final year, what is the point of having this award?
Going by this logic, if I do the last question of my exam paper, I get an A+, even if I didn't do the front questions. And if someone did ALL the questions in the front and couldn't do the last question, then they get anything lower than an B+.
In that case, let's just do the last question and go to sleep. Do the last question in the last assignment of the module and get an A. File in the last page of your file and get full marks.
Also, when in work, go to work on the day they give the salary, and receive your salary plus a bonus for excellent work attitude. Because it doesn't matter how much you work on the days the salary isn't being given out.
Oh, why not be the last person in the level and then you get a guaranteed admission into Harvard?
Well cool. Then people will try to NOT be the first. Don't even have to do a single assignment or exam, get the last position, tadah! The best student in the level. Best ever.
Okay, I'm going to talk a little more about PSLs.
For those who didn't know, being in the peer support board is the best moment in my life because it is the very first time I'm given the opportunity to serve the school in an official leadership board. I was very happy with PSL, and felt good doing the things I (we) do as PSLs. Events we planned always leave a very strong impression in the school and the students.
Until one day, when a special person came in from the outside. This person didn't even know the school well enough, and still came up with the brilliant idea of shutting down the PSLs.
His reason: The PSLs and councillors are always like... having negative feelings... Then the PSLs also like.... fighting over events and stuff like that. Maybe do you feel that the PSLs starting to do what the council supposed to do...
We tried to fight for the PSLs. Eventually, it got shut down, but was termed as 'merger'.
Seriously, when does the new 'Student Council' become a merger... When the name stays the same as the old thing?
Admit it man, you shut the board down.
And now you aren't even caring about the current student council.
Great, now I don't even see your brilliant new student council doing fun events for us to enjoy. Where's Youth Day? Where's Artsfest? Where's your presence?
And now the school is doing EVERYTHING they can to remove any traces of the existence of a PSL board.
Below are going to be my own personal thoughts. Gonna make it white so it's harder to read. If you don't like my personal thoughts, don't read it. You have been warned.
I'm done with all these leadership crap. I have been working so hard since Primary school to get a chance at leadership.
First I didn't get it because of discrimination from ONE of my teachers. Second I didn't get it because there was another Cassandra with a different surname in class and the teacher registered in the wrong Cassandra. (She actually told me later.)
Third I didn't get it because I wasn't lien or bimbo enough to make it to the prominent cliques in school.
And when I finally got into PSL, it freaking closed on me.
I worked so hard for what?
In the end, the school is using me.
Why can't the world just give me a chance? For once.
Why does EVERYTHING have to fail for me?
I did things the fair way, and yet the only things I meet are unfairness.
General questions
I'm just going to post a few questions today, because I can't even understand some of them really well. Some of them are just more reflective or more towards certain types of people...
If you were given the chance to make a difference in someone's life through your actions, will you?
If all it took to destroy a person is to say to them, "You are lousy." Will you say it?
If all it took to put a smile on someone's face is to sit and listen, will you do it?
If you had the chance to go back to the past and change one thing, will you? What will it be?
Do you really want to change the past?
What if you realise that your past wasn't a result of your choice, but fate?
If your fate was originally made to make you become someone you don't want to be...
Will you fight against fate? Or will you accept it and not do anything about it?
Do you believe in fate?
If someone has hurt you again and again, will you trust them again the next time?
If that someone apologised and promised not to hurt you anymore, will you trust them again?
If someone you loved has hurt you, and wanted to, will you hurt them back?
Will you sit back and take the blows?
Do you know when to keep fighting and when to give up the fight?
How far will you go for someone you love?
And... how far will they go for you?
What would you do if nobody thinks your happiness if worth anything?
How would you feel if people told you that you were worthless?
How far would you go to change that, or would you even?
Are you gonna give up?
What kind of world do you want to live in?
Whatever makes your ideal world, bring it to others as well. They will help you make it real.
Or will they? Or are they going to use it against you?
It's kind of awkward that I'm blogging in the living room now, and my Mum's just behind me.
She never does read my blog, thank goodness for that.
Today I played a lot of Tales of Vesperia. Finally completed the waitress game, insane game of taking orders and then getting all of them right for the customers. I had to use two pieces of paper for that! But my characters got really cool costumes after that so it was quite worth it, and a good time burner.
Well, I guess it's time to wait again, since the event has been set into motion. I don't know how it is going to end up, but please pray that for once it will go my way, pretty please... T.T
Someone promised to talk to me today, but again, failed.
I sort of hate how this happens. First I'm looking forward to the company, and then I keep waiting for this bu shou xin yong person who never turns up. -_-
I wonder why this always happens, as if I am never meant to have company.
I think I should finish my diary entry about the world I want to live in. But I'm just afraid it'll bring me false hopes and all again...And then I'm faced with disappointment again.
What kind of world do you like to live in, people?
Leave a message.
I played so much scramble2 today as well, so much that I beat the high score set by three people together. Shocking.
Sighs.
GRARH! So many problems and I can't solve any of them!! I wished they would all be solved right now so I can stop worrying. But the thing is that I've done almost all I can and everything is now left to either other people, or fate/luck. Neither of which I can trust now, since they have been unpleasant for the past 18 years.
Crosses fingers and prays really hard for the best. For good luck, for friends, and for trust.
So I won't hesitate, no more, no more...
It cannot wait, I'm yours...
Oh it's time to graduate, so soon, so soon...
I'll miss the times we've had...
Singing the I'm Yours song gives me a false sense of security. =\
But after that I still feel the gravity of it all... This reminds me of another song...
Gravity. The theme song from Wolf's Rain.
That song is so nice and so powerful. The road keeps on telling me to go on. I feel the gravity of it all.
T_T
Should I accept fate or to fight to choose my own path?
What do you think?
So... I missed the last Astronomy session on Friday. I actually thought of going, but was so sleepy, I couldn't keep my eyes open till that late. But another reason was because I didn't know who was going. Plus, my parents wanted to pick me up, you know how rare that is? So I didn't go.
But it doesn't matter, I guess. I would have collapsed if I went and probably end up in the sick bay. Or on the floor, only realizing it the next morning.
Anyway, prom is coming up. I'm partially scared, and partially looking forward to it. That's because it is probably the one and only prom I have, and you know... my tendency to screw up is... high.
It was lonely today because I didn't receive any messages for me. I was lonely yesterday because nobody replied my all important message of who was going for astro.
I don't really get why people don't reply to questions as significant as those. Even if I am on an sms limit, I would still reply to such questions. Unless it is a request for me to do something that I am unwilling to do.
Alright, I'm complaining again.
I really don't get why God made the world to be unfair. Or like why is it even programmed for people to have the ability to cause hurt or harm to others? Yet everybody wants to be happy, to get all they want.
People who try to make the world a fair place are usually those that lose out in the end, and those that cheat and scam and hurt others get all the good stuff. I would like to think that that was what it was meant when it was said that it is difficult for the rich to enter the kingdom of God.
Because those that are good at heart, although they will lose out in this world, will receive eternal life in the kingdom of God.
I choose to be more just that unjust. I guess.
But the thing is that there are many others who just use your qualities to their own benefit, and in the end they don't really care if it is really fair to others or not. They just chose not to take responsibility.
As for me, I don't see very much hope in myself. Which is sort of sad. And it was because of all the unjustice that has been done onto me. I used to still hope that things are definitely going to get better, that one day I will be seeing very much less of these sort of unjustice. Sorry, but my patience has been wearing thin, and my hopes and dreams have been crushed by the many people out there who has harmed me in any way, or treated me unfairly in any way.
I don't even know why I had to meet all these weird, kiasu, very unjust people, for the past 18 years of my life. And then lost very much all I had to all these unworthy people. Eventually leaving me with so little I don't even want to risk, and have to die to protect.
Great job, world.
Have you ever been so overcome with emotions and lethargy that when you wipe a drop of liquid off your face, you don't know if it is perspiration or tears?
Well, I can't actually imagine that, but never mind.
I always try to think of something to write about so that I can get my mind of certain troubling issues, or things that make me feel helpless. But right now, I can't think of any because I'm currently wondering if I should continue hoping or just close my eyes and let things move the way they should.
What I want and like most probably isn't what is going to happen, so I'm quite sad about that. Unless.... someone is willing to take part in a miracle and make me the happiest person on Earth for the duration of the whole thing.
I guess I should accept that I'm bound to be lonely, at least for now.
Daddy bought me those pieces of electronics and gadgets for a reason.
That is to say, you're going to be alone for a long while, so... while everybody can have their fun with others, nobody needs you, so be good now, sit down, and play with whatever toys you have.
If you need more toys, daddy buys them for you alright? Just don't expect anyone to play them with you.
Crap, I'm feeling suicidal.
Okay, I'm not. I don't do razors or knives.
All I want is some love, is that too much to ask for?
My thoughts
My wishlist:
1. Get into a good American university, or to find a boyfriend in Singapore and study at NUS.
2. Have a male prom date. Someone who I don't mind going with.
3. Rid myself of problems and be happy for myself.
4. To not be lonely.
5. Reach 100 subscribers on Youtube
You know, there are loads of things in the past that I would like to change. But even if I have the powers to go back to then to change it, I suppose nothing can change, because at that time, I didn't choose to take the path that has led me eventually to today.
Just because of one person's discrimination and influence, I've been stripped of any opportunity to develop any talent or potential. And it is also thanks to that person that I have become a person who is lousy at speaking, or voicing opinions, for fear of getting a slap across my face.
To some people in my level, the school life here sucks. No outings, more homework, more studying, no life. But to me, my current school life is the best so far. I'm finally given the opportunity to become an official student leader, a PSL. But then some guy had to go close it down because it was doing so well. In this school, I had friends who saw my presence, and who waited for me while I do a little stuff here and there.
These are things that never happened in my previous schools.
But I still fail to develop any talent or potential at anything. I'm just, nothing special. Even when I tried to mean much to a larger group of people, the verdict is still the same. Cass is nothing special. Nothing good about her, nothing worth looking at.
As if that wasn't bad enough, there was this dude who constantly told me about the things I suck at. When I try to express myself through the use of stories, poetry, or songs, all this dude says is that I suck, that I am not capable of any good piece of work. This dude never fails to tell me I'm nothing special, and when I work hard, all he says is that I never did any work. And when other people came into his life to remind him of the things I did through their own ways, those other people are deemed to be more useful, more everything than I am.
So to this person, you know who you are. Please just stop putting me down like that. I want to be someone with an identity, so please don't say such thoughtless words. Yes, we all know you are special, but that doesn't mean you can just go around treating me like shit.
A shoutout to Theo, thanks for organising the BBQ.
I have just realised that I haven't had any form of physical comfort for almost a year now. I really wonder how I actually survived that. Oh yes, I remember, I was just really sad and was made to wake up every morning feeling the same way I did the night before.
Come to think of it, I never really meant anything much to anyone, maybe except Gel. It's quite sad coz then there is no point to life anymore. *takes razor and places to wrist*
Wait, you didn't really think I'd do that, right?
What, you were hoping I did?
Why thanks, dude. Thanks. *sarcastic*
I'm really tired
I'm really tired, so says the title. Physically tired, and mentally, sorta.
For now I still have enough mental energy to keep myself going, must be that dose of positivity I stole from those kids at the playground. Nah, I'm just joking. I think I somehow did give myself some mental preparation that went like that...
Cass, this is the last time you are ever going to give all. This is the last time, in a long while. Last time where you are going to try to trust other people to know what to do, what is right.
So this time, when things turn bad, go wrong, it's alright. Because it is the last time in a long while anyway. After this, I'm going to turn it up and live it my way. Albeit all the wrong choices and sucky failure... I have had mistakes, bad ones, so often that I get numb to it. Instead of ouching and wincing, it's like "ooh, itchy."
Tomorrow is going to be a long day. I must remember to pack my mental crapicine. There is always the chance that things are going to suck. And after 17 years of being on the receiving end of the suckiness, I'm more prepared. Not gonna trust and say ooh it WILL be fun. Coz everytime in the past I say that, they never really are.
Not that I don't trust the party organization, but it's destiny. If it was written in the book of prophecies that something is gonna be bad, it will be. Unless I have any power at all to change it.
Or anyone.
You know Cassandra is originally the name of a really good prophet in Greece? But then some dude called Apollo had to be an ass, and curse that poor lady so nobody believes her prophecies. The crazy thing is that Apollo gave her the gift.
That just totally sucks. And he cursed Cassie there coz she didn't want to return his love.
MEN. Sheesh, what is their problem?
Wait, Apollo is a Greek God. NVM.
I was thinking of death awhile back and it made me both sad and happy. Death makes one happy because it removes any current problems in life. Sad because even if there weren't any more problems, we won't be able to enjoy it. Lol.
And I was also reminded of the time when I had to go for surgery and they put me under general anaesthesia. Yes, I had surgery before but it was minor. The thing is, they pump stuff into me and I was determined to not close my eyes. The next thing I know, my head is bandaged and the nursing tapping my cheek to wake me up.
WTH? I didn't even feel myself going limp or anything.
And then I thought, what is that is what happened when people die. They don't even know it!
Scary, right? *shivers*
Anyway when I said I was thinking about death, I was thinking about the mechanics of it, not contemplating it.
Grarh, I'm tired. Lesgo sleep liao. Night yo!
OH YA, I got a new video up on youtube, but it's just a vlog, so check it out if you're bored and really that interested in what I have to say.
Positivity and a lil bit of talk
Let's post something a little more optimistic this time.
Anyway I was stuck at that sentence for the past 20 minutes or so. Just got an SOS, and that is really pushing me to the limits of trying to post something optimistic.
Never mind, we shall begin. We all agree that life sucks. Life sucks because the good things never come as often as the bad things do. Bad things happen, they make us bleed. They drag us into the deep depths of the never-ending hole. They hurt us, sometimes permanently.
The past two days, I have been watching Shane Dawson on Youtube. I know, it's youtube again. But when the world lets me down so damn bad, Youtube is one thing I can depend on. I especially love vlogs, comedies, and artsy videos. They make me laugh, they make me think, and whatever it is, it places a blanket over my troubles for a little while.
Shane Dawson's videos are quite inspiring. He's such a big guy on youtube, but just like us he faces these everyday problems. And I guess I can say that he managed to convince me to be optimistic for awhile. And his video about admitting your flaws really got me to type this here.
So, in case some of you people didn't know, there was something really horrible between Theodore and I now. I posted something really mean because I was frustrated, and angry that I got lied to and all. Maybe not exactly lied to, but a white lie is still a white lie. Then Theo posted something back, and it was equally as bad.
Yea, I totally deserved it. But I would have deserved it more if he had less contradictions and less false information on it. Not like my note was 100% true information though.
Yeah, anyway, I apologised and took the note down. Hopefully, Theo is forgiving enough. But if he isn't then there isn't much I can do anymore, right? Afterall, it's his choice and not mine.
Being lonely for almost a year (plus 17 months, and probably for my entire past), you just get accustomed to the fact that not many people are going care. Maybe I'm just not special enough. But when people do care, those people they mean the world to me. If he doesn't want to have me as a friend, then he is also not a friend worth having, right?
It is always said that friends are supposed to be with you, and those who do not are friends who are not worth keeping.
I believe that one day all this crap in my life will end, perhaps slow down, so that I can curl up and sleep without fear. One day, I am going to get the happiness I have been seeking. One day when people will stop using me, and be truly grateful for what I do. There is nothing I can do except to wait for that day to come. I have to remain standing, to live that moment and beyond. Even when I'm being battered or stoned, I still have to keep going.
Wounds will heal, scars that stay. It doesn't matter because that just shows how tough you are.
People make mistakes in life. Some more often than others, some didn't choose to be that way. Either way, we're all human, and to err is human, or something like that. And when they do, it is up to the people around them to help them learn and to give courage.
Although I do feel sad, I have got to remind myself that only I will be there to wipe those tears off my face. Nobody's going to see it, and come on, how many others will really care?
I can only hope, not expect. Hopes bring happiness as a bonus. That will be nice.
It is nice to dream.
And I imagine a place of love and hope, peace and joy.
I screw up so much that now, everytime I do, it just doesn't sting anymore.
In the past when I screw up I'd batter myself to death, cry my eyes out, choke my throat sore, sniff till my nose falls. Not anymore.
Whenever something hits me, punch me, or kick me. I just feel the impact of it, tear a little for the impact, and after that I'm still standing.
Perhaps I'm too used to people attacking me for things I never did, too used to people insulting me, too used to people shoving me around.
The best thing to do is to keep quiet, let them batter me, spit at me. Cass just gonna take all of it in.
But anyways, it did hurt, and I remember how it hurt. It hurt so bad, so bad, that I won't want to let others feel such hurt. Unless they really deserve it, even so it's just letting them have a taste of how bad it will hurt.
So I guess it is dangerous to bottle up feelings. Because there will come a time when you can take no more, and everything, all those pent up frustrations, will come out. And that will hurt the people around you.
I spend those bottle-up times thinking if it will hurt others or not. Or maybe if it is even worth my own happiness?
Damn, forget it la. People are just freaking complex creatures that sometimes have too much mind of their own.
Look at the animals, all they do is kill, eat, sleep, make babies, and die.
Wouldn't life like that be MUCH simpler?
360th Post- Get me outta here.
Get me outta here
‘Cuz my eyes are burning
From these silly tears
That you brought when you show me you don’t really care
And you never loved me, someone get me outta this place
Right now
It’s so amazing how you have so many faces
And you are not that person I thought that
I had fell so deep in love with
You changed up your makeup your DNA
I can’t recognize you’re a stranger to me
I feel so betrayed what a waste of my heart and me
Get me outta here
‘Cuz my eyes are burning
From these silly tears
That you brought when you show me you don’t really care
And you never loved me, someone get me outta this place
Right now
My body’s trembling it’s so damn hard
To kick this feeling, your heart is so cold and now I’m freezing
Wish you could feel the pain, maybe I will arrange it
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah
You changed up your makeup your DNA
I can’t recognize, you’re a stranger to me
I feel so betrayed, what a waste of my heart and me
Get me outta here
‘Cuz my eyes are burning
From these silly tears
That you brought when you show me you don’t really care
And you never loved me, someone get me outta this place
I thought that we were forever
I guess I misunderstood
My fault for thinking you loved me
Or in thinking you ever could
Get me out of here right now
Get me out of here right now
Get me outta here
‘Cuz my eyes are burning
From these silly tears
That you brought when you show me you don’t really care
And you never loved me, someone get me outta this place
Get me outta here
‘Cuz my eyes are burning
From these silly tears
That you brought when you show me you don’t really care
(you don’t really care)
And you never loved me, someone get me outta this place
1,2,3,4
Right now, right now, right now
Someone get me outta this place
Get me outta here
‘Cuz my eyes are burning
From these silly tears
That you brought when you show me you don’t really care
And you never loved me, someone get me outta this place
Right now
It’s so amazing how you have so many faces
And you are not that person I thought that
I had fell so deep in love with
You changed up your makeup your DNA
I can’t recognize you’re a stranger to me
I feel so betrayed what a waste of my heart and me
Get me outta here
‘Cuz my eyes are burning
From these silly tears
That you brought when you show me you don’t really care
And you never loved me, someone get me outta this place
Right now
My body’s trembling it’s so damn hard
To kick this feeling, your heart is so cold and now I’m freezing
Wish you could feel the pain, maybe I will arrange it
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah
You changed up your makeup your DNA
I can’t recognize, you’re a stranger to me
I feel so betrayed, what a waste of my heart and me
Get me outta here
‘Cuz my eyes are burning
From these silly tears
That you brought when you show me you don’t really care
And you never loved me, someone get me outta this place
I thought that we were forever
I guess I misunderstood
My fault for thinking you loved me
Or in thinking you ever could
Get me out of here right now
Get me out of here right now
Get me outta here
‘Cuz my eyes are burning
From these silly tears
That you brought when you show me you don’t really care
And you never loved me, someone get me outta this place
Get me outta here
‘Cuz my eyes are burning
From these silly tears
That you brought when you show me you don’t really care
(you don’t really care)
And you never loved me, someone get me outta this place
1,2,3,4
Right now, right now, right now
Someone get me outta this place
Get me outta here
Blogging, not vlogging
I wanted to make a vlog, but it proves to me more difficult than it seems. Perhaps I'm getting distracted by my computer too much, and everything else. Well, I've gotten a kickass camera (to me, but probably not the best for you), so I can film whenever I want to.
It's so inconvenient when your dominant hand is injured. I hurt one of my fingers today, and I don't know how it happened. Suddenly felt this sharp pain on one of my fingers, and then realised that the bottom right corner of the fingernail, the flesh split. Funnily, no blood, but still pain as ass.
Hurrah I finished my high school examinations today! But there are SAT subject tests on Saturday so it isn't a very good time to slack yet. SAT is just so annoying sometimes. Everyone's aiming for a perfect score, and it isn't exactly very easy for me.
Tomorrow is Conradical's birthday, so if you read this please remember to wish him a Happy Birthday!
Anyway, I was hoping that a certain someone doesn't keep going to bed so early all the time. The problem with a great majority of us teenagers is that we tend to function optimally after 10pm, but that boy sleeps at 10pm every single day. Maybe that's what he's good at, sleeping, since that means it's his optimal function.
Oh, but people are trying so hard to contact him around after 10pm, and he's often uncontactable. And the problem with him is that, all his communication channels are one way. He uses them to contact you, but you can never contact him through those channels.
Unless you're his ultimate best friend or something.
I daydream all the time. It's what I do since I'm always so alone and do not have much to do. It has become a habit of mine and I sometimes stone like a freak in public as well. Well, when things in life aren't going the way you want it to, the best thing is to imagine a paradise, and live it- all in your mind.
I feel for the average people in the world, people like me. These are the people who are moderately good at most things, but are never really good at anything. They aren't beauties, but they aren't ugly people either. There's just nothing special about them.
What sucks about being these kinda people is that we are very rarely noticed. Well, we are only noticed if other people require an extra pair of hands for whatever they are trying to accomplish. We are the people supporting those with something special about them, so that they will seem more awesome than ever.
The worse thing is that the average people have to work extra hard to accomplish the things they want. On top of that, there is only a certain probability that they will really get what they want. Most of the time, the special people get them all.
To add on to all that, I have someone at the back of my neck who never fails to tell me that I'm weak, that I suck, and that I'm useless. Note that this guy actually sees himself way up there. So is this world out to push all these average people downwards?
Any case, I think it was really rude of this particular person to insult others like that. And by insulting me, I felt it was damn freaking rude and uncalled for. And I am waiting for his apology.
So people, please note that it isn't very nice to insult others. It doesn't hurt to put a smile on someone's face. But it does more than hurt to make someone cry.
*sien face* Damnit, Daniel. I'm still waiting for your reply to the answer to your question. Yes, that is confusing but, it isn't a very difficult statement to reply to.
Random
I don't know where to start studying for my Proteins exam. I studied a lot of Math today because my Math sucked, and then read English.
Anyway, the noodles I cooked today were horrible. I don't even know how my instant noodles cooking skills deteriorate so fast. Gah, but instant noodles are unhealthy.
I tried to play the Fringe theme song on Piano, but I kept forgetting the chords and all. Ah well, must be the math.
Anyway, I'm really excited about next Monday, where a BBQ is going to take place. At the elusive Villa Marina, which is also Theo's house, and that's a place we haven't been to before! But it's quite a long time since we had a BBQ, and I really look forward to it.
Thanks to Theo for organizing it. It feels a little weird that for once I'm not planning anything for an event that close to me.
Went to eat Macs today while playing with my camera.
And speaking about Macs, I saw this video where a group of people order their Macs by singing. The song is I'm Yours by Jason Mraz. It's really cool. Cooooool.
Overall, today was a really lonely day. I studied quite a lot. But played a fair bit too. I should go back to studying.
Seeya.