And everyone knows it's not my favourite subject, and that I suck at it.
Really, can anyone get more bored than this?
Also, getting pissed.
Anyway, I have a new best buddy. But it doesn't overlap with my human best buddies, because it isn't human. It's my MioTV! Okay, pardon me for getting excited about it, but it's the first time I'm actually getting TV programmes that aren't channel 8, 5, U, or okto, or CNA.
I could just watch those programmes all day long if I want to. =)
Oh, and youtube is still cool.
I woke up this morning at 10.30am. My Dad just came home from swimming or whatever shit he's doing, and scolds me. He says he can't believe that I actually slept till SO late, and that it isn't good for me. He also says that he now knows why I am so weak and fall ill all the time, and that it makes me a lazy person.
Well, I slept at 2am last night, Great Daddy. According to what you said last time, about getting 8 hours of sleep every day, I wasn't being unhealthy like what you say now. 2am plus 8 hours is actually 10am, so I assume here now that sleeping an extra half hour is being lazy? Oh, and I hope he actually realizes that it is actually THE HOLIDAYS?! *rolls eyes*
On top of that, I told my mum about it when she returned home after having dinner with her friends. She brushed it off. But I was being really sad so I remained quiet and dark like I always do when I'm upset, and that is because my parents don't really want to know about what I am upset about. My mum walks by my room and saw me being dark and gloomy and doing my own business on my com. And you know what? She freaking got angry on me. She said I made her angry because I am being upset about what Dad said to me.
WhatTheShit.
Am I not even entitled to my own feelings anymore? Has the world really come to this point where I cannot be upset because someone caused me to be upset, but can be upset only because someone is happy about upsetting me? My Dad is being ridiculous here for calling me weak and lazy, and complaining about me waking up at 10.30am on a holiday! And now I am being upset and hurt because that is all my Dad does, continuously complaining about me like I've never done anything right. But I can't feel upset about it because being upset about it makes my Mum angry. And by the way, my Mum never sides me but enjoys telling me how every ridiculous thing is my fault and that I should stop being upset because I 'brought it upon myself'.
In other words, my Mum doesn't allow me to be upset, but she does nothing to console me or anything of that sort when I am upset.
Speaking of falling ill, my Dad is referring to my every now and then sneezing and sniffles and that. My Dad gave me his sinusitis genes. He has nose problems all the time. I have nose problems since young. Recently, whenever I'm sneezing like I have a cold, he says I'm weak. Last year in hostel, I only fell sick once, and never missed a day of school. This year, I fell sick many times. The only difference, I go home everyday on public transport. Guess where the germs came from? And who complains everyday that sending me to school is a chore?
Actually, I never missed a day of school. My MCs always fall on weekends, or days where I absolutely have to go to school (last day of MC).
Oh, my Dad's taking half day leave in the morning everyday from today onwards for the entire week.
Hi to hellhole.
For one, I think the air is extremely filthy because for the entire day I have been breathing abnormally and I can feel it. It is very annoying.
It rained, but then the air outside was foggy or smoky or something. Just dirty.
And my body tires. I don't know why.
Also, today Theo is away in Malaysia on a trip. I will be dragged to Malaysia on the 21st. No internet, no friends. But then again I should already be used to that.
On top of that, my mum happily told me she will be out having dinner with her friends. Which means that I have no dinner, and also that I have to eat alone.
And eat alone I did.
Plus, my internet is back to its sucky self again. It was fine a few days ago, but my Dad had to go pull the cable out just to put in the microfilter, and everything just died. Again. And I took the filter out and put the jack back, but it doesn't really work that well. How sucky.
Sighs.
Oh, and I saw my previous piano teacher while having dinner. And she looked at me for like, a second? And then she just walked away. WTH.
Ohmytians, my life really sucks.
Sigh.
:(
How am I going to survive almost half a year of holidays?!
And how am I going to go to work and still remain free enough to go out with my pals?
Haizz.
Not to mention that there isn't really anyone to go out with me...
And not be awkward.
Awkward... *silence*
Right.
At least now I can talk to him more naturally, and end conversations on my own accord so I won't be kept waiting.
At least he replies.
I should be content.
Yeah.
But I want to be happy.
:(
And I find that freaking annoying.
Firstly, it's not my first choice to go to NUS. Secondly, all I have been working for this whole year is for studies in the US. Now that my parents have stubbed my dreams out just like that, do they expect me to be very enthusiastic about apply to NUS?
Seriously.
stop asking me if I have submitted my application.
I had a brief moment of happiness today, I'd say about 10 minutes of it.
I spent my whole day playing PSP and DS, and eating instant noodles. How unhealthy can I get.
I am so not in the mood to do my after-exchange report, or to compile Taiwan photos.
Really not in the mood.
Not now, when I don't have the motivation to do anything.
I haven't had any motivation for anything else after last December.
Perhaps I'm really broken.
Oh, I whacked my head on the bathtub today while I was looking forward to soaking in the warm tub of water. It wasn't really deep, only a couple centimetres of water, coz it was still filling up. Then when I wanted to lay down and relax. THWACK! And ouch.
Someone is going overseas this week if I am not wrong. Pretty sad, I guess.
And I doubt anything would change. Though I hope it really would.
Gah. When would my life be better?
:(
I would give him the PSP if I could.. afterall, he would be a better owner to the PSP than I am.
I found it quite fun, although it primarily involves strategic button smashing and hitting other people.
So perhaps I will lose him. I think it's time for me to acknowledge that the more I love anything, that something will be taken away from me sooner. I loved my iPhone, and it was taken away from me. I loved my dream of studying in US, and that was taken away from me too.
Time was running out. Time IS running out.
Mere weeks to go before I have no choice but to give up... When what I love will be brutally snatched from my hands. I know that because with every minute that passes, chances of success eventually will get lower.
On a brighter side, my pet Onion grew today. The green leaves broke through the fleshy leaves. They look a nice shade of green, and look cute. And it's quite big, coz my onion is larger this time.
Therefore, I can get nice spring onions next time with my soup, and it's organic.
This year is really mundane... ahhh.
The gathering was really good.
I get to see the people I miss.
A shoutout to JunYup, coz 11 December is his birthday...
So HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUNYUP!
But anyways, had a really fun time laughing over Theo's expression when he saw Godiva chocolates.
Also, playing raving rabbids makes one retarded..
But much needed after being a license nerd after 4 years of NUSH...
Back from Taiwan, my legs are getting better coz there is less walking and using leg muscles just to remain upright in the bus.
I really dislike the buses in Taiwan...
They should have advanced brake systems or something, before someone really flies out of the windshield next time.
And WeiCheng, I'm still gonna stuff money in your bag next time.
And Theo, have fun eating malt candy from the syringe... I realised it was gonna be a little tough.
I hate my internet when it keeps disconnecting.
But a thunderstorm fried Weicheng's internet, so I should just shut up right now about the internet.
I really wished I had someone to spend Christmas with.
So Father Christmas, if you read little KiaKia's blog...
She wants you-know-what-I-want anyway...
More than a year le, I quite xun... still cannot get the person I like.
My Taiwan buddies tell me to quickly go tell him that I love him,
but seriously, I have been doing so for the past year.
I envy those girls over at Zhongshan, they all are so... open about relationships.
And expressions of affection in Taipei are so... natural.
In Singapore, it always seem like girls and guys hold hand in public, or hug, or whatever, they're all meant to show off.
But in Taipei, it's purely for their sake. They make their movements conspicuous, and all are little actions of affection.
Very sweet wan can!!
T_T
Please leh, all I want for Christmas....
不是生于死，
而是我站在你面前，
你却不知道我爱你。
This poem thingie I learnt from Taiwan is one that I will always remember.
Enjoyed Taiwan very much,
and I learnt a lot.
Gave me a moment to smile for real, and find the people who love me.
Thank you, Ms. Sim, especially.
You are the first teacher to know of my past.
Thanks to my buddy Sandy for being such a great host and friend.
Thanks for putting a smile on my face all the time.
Also thanks to the exchange team in ZhongShan, you people make me feel like I could be happy if I wanted to.
I will see the person I like, tomorrow. I will wait till then.
I miss all of you guys!