Orientation day 2
Today is occupied firstly by cors, then wet and dirty games. Played
lots of games that were really wet and dirty. And while playing I
found my secret pal, secretly.
lots of games that were really wet and dirty. And while playing I
found my secret pal, secretly.
Anyway was super enthu throughout the day. Got the whole group
laughing when playing the cards slide thing. Oh I believe it is called
butt slide. And I got the last winning card for the group!
After that felt really gao wei coz of sticky fbt. Urgh! And stupid
clothes soap that just won't get off.
Dinner, then sp games. We identified each other. This guy beside me
asked where I was from, then I answered NUS High. My secret pal was
behind and so he said, "Hi SP!"
Budden after that he sorta pangsehed me, and went to hang out with
some other ppl or the other seniors. Sigh.
Games were quite interesting la. But I guess more interaction is better lor...
Camp first day
First day of camp was quite decent. Green house go! Somehow green
houses have lots if extra stuff lol. So I'm in Sylvans the green
house, under subgroup Dryads!!
houses have lots if extra stuff lol. So I'm in Sylvans the green
house, under subgroup Dryads!!
Went to NUS super early... And then they started with briefing. Ice
breakers were just cheers and simple games. Got to know new people.
Then here were talks and more station games. Super fun! We didn't win
a lot but still had fun la.
I somehow got a bruise on my finger, no idea how, but it hurts when I
bend my finger. At least still can bend right?
Secret pals next. My secret pal is a senior oh man... But i still
can't guess who. Anyway secret pals only benefit single ppl (like me)
la... They should just split into attached a single so the correct ppl
will be matched. Right?!?
Then showering was a pain. Showered with water bottles.
Social night and today
So last night I went for OCS Foxtrot Wing's Social Night. It was an interesting experience. With thanks to Chris (my oniichan) for inviting me. First times. First time getting involved with army stuff/event, first time getting flowers.
Funny stuff that happened include... Some guy giving a speech, and he ended with, "...and enjoy your night, your 'dake's look fantastic!" Read it aloud and you get what's so funny.
Also, a group of army guys started singing "Ban Ban Deeban, Ban Ban Deeban Ban" coz they were talking about LTA Deeban. (I hope I dun get the army terms wrong)
Today, went to Science Dean's Welcome Tea. Long day. Long talks. Too many people. Too little buses. At a glance, sorry, but there are no cute guys around. No eyecandy, only sour plums :(
Went off after Life Sciences talk. Decided to watch a movie when I reached Vivo. And watched the Sorceror's Apprentice. A very nice movie! But it's better to watch it on bigscreen, so can see the special effects better.
Ethan Peck is in it!! Although just a minor role. Still, so awesome to see him acting in there!
Oh wells, that's about it for today.
Funny stuff that happened include... Some guy giving a speech, and he ended with, "...and enjoy your night, your 'dake's look fantastic!" Read it aloud and you get what's so funny.
Also, a group of army guys started singing "Ban Ban Deeban, Ban Ban Deeban Ban" coz they were talking about LTA Deeban. (I hope I dun get the army terms wrong)
Today, went to Science Dean's Welcome Tea. Long day. Long talks. Too many people. Too little buses. At a glance, sorry, but there are no cute guys around. No eyecandy, only sour plums :(
Went off after Life Sciences talk. Decided to watch a movie when I reached Vivo. And watched the Sorceror's Apprentice. A very nice movie! But it's better to watch it on bigscreen, so can see the special effects better.
Ethan Peck is in it!! Although just a minor role. Still, so awesome to see him acting in there!
Oh wells, that's about it for today.
What abt today?
Today was a fine day. Stayed at home all day, reading Sherrilyn Kenyon's books and playing Maple. I'm starting to be be a little happier with regards to Maple, with respect to yesterday's post.
And there you go, it's me. And my maple bf. I'm still confused as to what we are, it's in between best friend and boyfriend. But we, in real life, have our hearts in someone else. Coincidentally, the girl he really likes doesn't like him in that way. And in my case it's the other gender. So yea, we're sorta weird. We are besties, definitely. But since we go around Maple together most of the time we just decided to be well, yea. It also definitely makes our guild members happy, and he can finally be in the family without being "related" to my two crazy didis. Okay, actually one crazy and one less crazy.
OMG, WOT! (Wall of Text)
Ian, if you happen to see this. Yep.
Hi.
Tomorrow is gonna be a busy day. I shall survive!
I feel so guilty today for buying cash items. ARGH! Need to stop spending money on cash.
But then again, I did work and have extra money for the things I like. Seeing how I don't splurge on fashion items IRL.
I dunno how Mel and Gel do it, but I seriously can't buy shoes and clothes like that. Really can't spend that much. I will go home and cry if I spend lots of fashion stuff. I'd rather my mum paid for the clothes and shoes.
Alright. Busy day tmr, ciaoz!
Can't forget
I can't bring myself to forget about you. I can't bring myself to walk away, turn away and not look back. I can't.
The most painful truth is that you aren't going to return. Even if you did, it wouldn't be for me. You have your own life and I know you are never going to include me in it.
I still remember those times when you were the only one who didn't forget about me and leave me behind. I remember that time when I took you in when everyone forgot about you. What about you finally giving me a title I wanted? Perhaps it was just a lie. But those memories are definitely real.
The way I felt about you. Definitely real. The best thing for me to do now is to leave you alone before I get more hurt. All you heard from me was an 'I really like you'. But it wasn't sufficient to describe what I felt about you.
I still continue to do so, but I don't act on them anymore. It makes me feel trapped, but anything for you. If you detest me, I will stay away. Indeed I am trapped. Waiting foolishly for you to return. I know you won't.
I should be happy. Even if an online friend isn't real, the person on the other side is. A person is loving and caring for me while I am online. I should be happy.
Dang. I still can't do it. It's as if the only solution was for you to come back.
The most painful truth is that you aren't going to return. Even if you did, it wouldn't be for me. You have your own life and I know you are never going to include me in it.
I still remember those times when you were the only one who didn't forget about me and leave me behind. I remember that time when I took you in when everyone forgot about you. What about you finally giving me a title I wanted? Perhaps it was just a lie. But those memories are definitely real.
The way I felt about you. Definitely real. The best thing for me to do now is to leave you alone before I get more hurt. All you heard from me was an 'I really like you'. But it wasn't sufficient to describe what I felt about you.
I still continue to do so, but I don't act on them anymore. It makes me feel trapped, but anything for you. If you detest me, I will stay away. Indeed I am trapped. Waiting foolishly for you to return. I know you won't.
I should be happy. Even if an online friend isn't real, the person on the other side is. A person is loving and caring for me while I am online. I should be happy.
Dang. I still can't do it. It's as if the only solution was for you to come back.
On the topic of love...
I just have this random urge to type this post because I feel that the overall love in this world is on the decline. People are getting more selfish, more work-orientated, and they take a lot of people for granted.
Or maybe it's just me. At least 19 months without those kind of love that fills me up inside has taught me a lot about love.
What I feel for a really long time, is what I never want to go through anymore. At times, when things are good, it feels average, like this is where you are supposed to be. But when things get really bad, and you have nobody to turn to and nobody to comfort you... It has got to be the worst feeling ever. You feel really really tired but you can't fall asleep, want to cry but you can't because it means nothing, want to get it off your chest but you can't.
I never really turned to my parents' love until sometime last year. I always assumed it was there, and at times when I feel lousy and useless... that my parents would encourage me, and love me, and feel that I am special to them. When I wanted my parents' love, I realised that they replaced it with gifts and money. My mum would love me, but she doesn't understand anything I tell her anymore. Her way of helping me is to force me to believe that those aren't problems, or rather, her problem. My dad doesn't think I'm special in any way. And when he does that, my mum is inclined to believe I'm nothing special anymore. I don't have those filling love from them anymore.
All this has led to me being a perfectionist. I can't make any mistakes because nobody will be there to help, and if I do, people will never stop blaming me for them. It's like, they aren't helping yet they put all the blame on you. And everyday, this burden gets heavier and heavier.
Being deprived of attention and love, I have now come to realise that giving love is easy, but just that little bit of love can make someone's day easier to get through. One less insult a day, one more sentence of encouragement... is like a sip of water in the desert.
Without love, people will be constantly drained, become increasingly depressed, and wish for the end of the world.
I try to have my parents love me more, but it isn't working. So on top of me now having low self-esteem, they aren't even putting in any effort to tell me i'm special. They can't even lie for a moment and tell me that I am special to them omg.
So like my facebook says.. I need someone to take care of me. I don't want to do everything alone anymore. I don't want to be alone when the world ends. I want to be loved like a child craves for candy. And I want to feel special.
Or maybe it's just me. At least 19 months without those kind of love that fills me up inside has taught me a lot about love.
What I feel for a really long time, is what I never want to go through anymore. At times, when things are good, it feels average, like this is where you are supposed to be. But when things get really bad, and you have nobody to turn to and nobody to comfort you... It has got to be the worst feeling ever. You feel really really tired but you can't fall asleep, want to cry but you can't because it means nothing, want to get it off your chest but you can't.
I never really turned to my parents' love until sometime last year. I always assumed it was there, and at times when I feel lousy and useless... that my parents would encourage me, and love me, and feel that I am special to them. When I wanted my parents' love, I realised that they replaced it with gifts and money. My mum would love me, but she doesn't understand anything I tell her anymore. Her way of helping me is to force me to believe that those aren't problems, or rather, her problem. My dad doesn't think I'm special in any way. And when he does that, my mum is inclined to believe I'm nothing special anymore. I don't have those filling love from them anymore.
All this has led to me being a perfectionist. I can't make any mistakes because nobody will be there to help, and if I do, people will never stop blaming me for them. It's like, they aren't helping yet they put all the blame on you. And everyday, this burden gets heavier and heavier.
Being deprived of attention and love, I have now come to realise that giving love is easy, but just that little bit of love can make someone's day easier to get through. One less insult a day, one more sentence of encouragement... is like a sip of water in the desert.
Without love, people will be constantly drained, become increasingly depressed, and wish for the end of the world.
I try to have my parents love me more, but it isn't working. So on top of me now having low self-esteem, they aren't even putting in any effort to tell me i'm special. They can't even lie for a moment and tell me that I am special to them omg.
So like my facebook says.. I need someone to take care of me. I don't want to do everything alone anymore. I don't want to be alone when the world ends. I want to be loved like a child craves for candy. And I want to feel special.
I've got a bad feeling
School has already been the death of me, even though it hasn't started yet. I am apalled by the inefficiency of it all, and how everything is all vague and stuff.
Tomorrow, is supposedly the day for the briefing for Science Orientation Week. But just this afternoon, I received an email from them saying that I am on the waitlist now because of overwhelming response.
Woah, seriously? You can only tell me that the afternoon before the briefing?
At the moment of my sign up, you should have freaking told me sooner. So I will be mentally prepared, and not expect myself to be at your stupid briefing, then you turn me down. You should have known where your damn quota is, and inform everyone else outside the quota as soon as possible.
Also, you did not state anywhere if there was a deadline for application. I seriously don't know what the fhell is going on because your "awesome" website is permanently under construction. If it is like that, how the fhell do I know what is going on, then how do I sign up for it?!
Not only that, your enquiry system is shut. It's not working, there is no such page for me to submit. What is wrong with you? Not accepting questions anymore? Can't be bothered?
If anyone needs an orientation programme, I do! I'm the first person in my family that's entering a university, so I do not know a single shit about university life. And it's thanks to people like you who screw it up for me.
Maybe university life is like that, no schedule. No efficiency. Can't even be bothered about what you're planning. Eh?
Makes me so darn pissed! It's not the first time I've experienced problems like that regarding university, and I haven't even started! Is the nation's top university even supposed to be this chaotic? Even the buldings look like they are messed up.
Wth is wrong with them!
Tomorrow, is supposedly the day for the briefing for Science Orientation Week. But just this afternoon, I received an email from them saying that I am on the waitlist now because of overwhelming response.
Woah, seriously? You can only tell me that the afternoon before the briefing?
At the moment of my sign up, you should have freaking told me sooner. So I will be mentally prepared, and not expect myself to be at your stupid briefing, then you turn me down. You should have known where your damn quota is, and inform everyone else outside the quota as soon as possible.
Also, you did not state anywhere if there was a deadline for application. I seriously don't know what the fhell is going on because your "awesome" website is permanently under construction. If it is like that, how the fhell do I know what is going on, then how do I sign up for it?!
Not only that, your enquiry system is shut. It's not working, there is no such page for me to submit. What is wrong with you? Not accepting questions anymore? Can't be bothered?
If anyone needs an orientation programme, I do! I'm the first person in my family that's entering a university, so I do not know a single shit about university life. And it's thanks to people like you who screw it up for me.
Maybe university life is like that, no schedule. No efficiency. Can't even be bothered about what you're planning. Eh?
Makes me so darn pissed! It's not the first time I've experienced problems like that regarding university, and I haven't even started! Is the nation's top university even supposed to be this chaotic? Even the buldings look like they are messed up.
Wth is wrong with them!
I hate this skin
OMG I need to change my blogskin because I can't post two posts in a day which is really annoying.
And I'm supposed to get ready for my driving soon but here I am typing this blogpost. This is how much I love yall.
Anyway, these few days I have been having fun. I haven't been out, apart from getting materials for my mum's birthday surprise. I'm talking about Maple!
The game itself is annoying, but the people in it are awesome. It reminds me why my first boyfriend is an online dude I never met. Because in the real world, I'm not anybody interesting, not excceptionally pretty. I'm not special enough for people to take notice. But online that doesn't matter anymore.
I've been invited into a guild and in a few days, I have two didi and alot of great friends. And none of them would ignore me, we just basically talk in the guild channel, and I end up laughing more than I would in real life.
Not to mention, we aren't some characters with insanely high levels to pwn other noobs. We are just people with different character levels mingling together, having fun, laughing (ingame and real life).
In real life, everyone is just fighting to get something. Some want to get more money, some want to go overseas, whatever it is. I don't see such fun interacting with others in real life, probably because there is a tendency to be ignored.
I feel special yet again being on MapleStory talking to these friends who haven't seen me in person other than the pictures on my facebook profile.
Ian yesterday ask me how can anyone diss me because I'm so fun to be with. Yea take that, suckas! Just because I ain't the prettiest chic in town doesn't mean I'm not fun.
So seriously, I totally get why people game. Some people are purely addicted, but there are those people who seek comfort and company in a bunch of online buddies that never bring them down, never judge them based on their looks. What matters is who you are.
Okay, maybe there are some that are really fake but I'm not talking about them.
What's sad is that I have to return to facing real people who judge yet again, based on looks. Because I have to study at uni, a subject that is not my first choice. I want to have these friends who I can joke and laugh with, because their words are what I will never hear in real life.
And I'm supposed to get ready for my driving soon but here I am typing this blogpost. This is how much I love yall.
Anyway, these few days I have been having fun. I haven't been out, apart from getting materials for my mum's birthday surprise. I'm talking about Maple!
The game itself is annoying, but the people in it are awesome. It reminds me why my first boyfriend is an online dude I never met. Because in the real world, I'm not anybody interesting, not excceptionally pretty. I'm not special enough for people to take notice. But online that doesn't matter anymore.
I've been invited into a guild and in a few days, I have two didi and alot of great friends. And none of them would ignore me, we just basically talk in the guild channel, and I end up laughing more than I would in real life.
Not to mention, we aren't some characters with insanely high levels to pwn other noobs. We are just people with different character levels mingling together, having fun, laughing (ingame and real life).
In real life, everyone is just fighting to get something. Some want to get more money, some want to go overseas, whatever it is. I don't see such fun interacting with others in real life, probably because there is a tendency to be ignored.
I feel special yet again being on MapleStory talking to these friends who haven't seen me in person other than the pictures on my facebook profile.
Ian yesterday ask me how can anyone diss me because I'm so fun to be with. Yea take that, suckas! Just because I ain't the prettiest chic in town doesn't mean I'm not fun.
So seriously, I totally get why people game. Some people are purely addicted, but there are those people who seek comfort and company in a bunch of online buddies that never bring them down, never judge them based on their looks. What matters is who you are.
Okay, maybe there are some that are really fake but I'm not talking about them.
What's sad is that I have to return to facing real people who judge yet again, based on looks. Because I have to study at uni, a subject that is not my first choice. I want to have these friends who I can joke and laugh with, because their words are what I will never hear in real life.
Birthday
Today is my mum's birthday. I celebrated it with her by springing two
surprises on her. First I went to popular to get stuff to make a
placard that read 'happy birthday'. Then went to The Icing Room to
decorate a cake for her.
surprises on her. First I went to popular to get stuff to make a
placard that read 'happy birthday'. Then went to The Icing Room to
decorate a cake for her.
She was very delighted and surprised! And I felt so accomplished!
Man... How I wished I could have a birthday like that... Actually she
had another surprise by her friends at work. So... In all a very happy
day for her.
Most people want to take a day off on their birthdays. But I actually
want to be at work or school on my birthday. My parents aren't the
type who will plan parties or any surprises so birthdays at home sucks
the worst. I want to be around people, people who will wish me happy
birthday, or song me a birthday song.
This year, I give up. I am not going to plan anything for my birthday.
I am sick of planning stuff for myself. It's my birthday why should I
have to be I charge if everything? If I mean enough to people, they
would do something. And if I dun, I dun need to plan a party just to
increase my popularity of stuff like that.
Other people have surprises on their birthdays. And I don't. I don't
get a huge group of people singing the birthday song, or have an
unplanned outing for that. My birthday is one I have to celebrate
myself. And I am going to change that.
It is time I trust my friends with stuff like that. If they don't, I
will just say happy birthday to myself at 11:59pm on 11 sep. That's
it. I don't want to be planning any grand stuff for myself because I
am really really really sick of it.
I am back
Haven't been blogging in a while because I've been having fun without work. Anyway, not many people read my blog. Once again thanking all who are reading.
Many things have happened, but I umm... mainly reached my goal of being lvl 70 priest in MapleStory. Also, resuming my driving, and spending lots of time resting.
Many things have happened, but I umm... mainly reached my goal of being lvl 70 priest in MapleStory. Also, resuming my driving, and spending lots of time resting.