Peace.
Shh...Don't say anything yet. Come let's take a vote. Those who agree that peace is good...Raise ur hands! Can't see la. Ahh, who cares, it's 1 vote for YES! And therefore, peace is good.
We have very limited time on earth. Very, very limited. Of course, perfect peace is never possible. Perhaps as I am typing this, some dude somewhere just died because he was involved in a fight. And I am sure that as I am typing this, there will be somebody bullying another person, there'll be somebody having a heated argument somewhere.
But why? Is there really a need to hit-hit kill-kill (translated from chinese, da da sha sha)? No, there isn't. We would have definitely been in quarrels (Personally, I've been in loads. Normally, I take all the blame and I'm bloody sick of doing it). Friendships, relationships, they may get broken up due to them. Why? Is it really so nice fighting? To have no peace in the world? At this point of time, some people may think "eh, peace in the world, have what! No war means peace ma!" This is not true. Why do wars and riots and battles happen? Because they disagree with something, and they prefer to kill to prove their point.
Bringing it to that level, we can see that little little stuff can lead to devastating endings. Like a tree sapling, you have to make sure that it stands straight, if not when it grows into a big tree, it can never be straight. Solving the root of the problem, solves the greater problem out there. In my own case, I really dislike all quarrels, for the following reasons:
After every quarrel, no matter who started it, I am the one who has to apologise profusely, ask for forgiveness, and bear the full burden of being the one starting the quarrel. If you ask me to do all these like, once or twice, maybe I could close an eye and just get on with life doing all that. I mean, it's better for me to sacrifice my portion of innocence and convert to a full criminal, rather than bringing out arms to fight it out. Time is limited (!!!) and I want to cherish my times on Earth. I don't want to leave this world knowing that I had miserable times because I quarrelled so much, and I shed so much tears, and I made many people dislike me...and all that. If we could make more joyful memories, won't it be better for urself and for others?
You know, I work very hard for this, especially in my relationship. Aaron, Angela, Chermaine, Shud, Alvin, Vanessa, Renee, Cheryl, and all those who has ever bothered to ask me "Is everything going okay?", I think all of you should know. It's really okay for me to act the bad person if it means causing the relationship to go smoothly. Most importantly, I want the other party to understand that although I may be very "never mind lah" sort of person, I do expect a certain degree of respect (as a senior, and as a fellow human, or may be as someone he needs), and to understand that we're even closer than friends, we shouldn't be so territorial in that sense.
But those who bothered to care, you guys have a point. You all tell me, "I know you are tolerant and you forgive him, but how long can you last? Are you sure you can carry on being tolerant? Tolerance is a good thing, but you should know when not to tolerate..." I'm finding it true, coz I've been reflecting and thinking things over. I can tolerate, but there is also a limit. I...regret being so tolerant though. My tolerance may have led me to become less heard within the two people, and also led to the loss of much respect. Or maybe... It may be why we quarrel so much. Aaron, thanks for the enlightenment. Some guys don't like girls being superior than them. Maybe he tends to want to show how powerful he is by picking a fight. Working around me, then using my heart, and my tolerance. If he says something that really hits me there, I will give in straight away. An automatic victory for him, nil for me. It's okay, he's happy. All i ask for, is damage control, whether he'll come back to me and comfort me.
This sounds terribly stupid. I've been stupid. Hey, I deserve to be heard...But the world just isn't fair sometimes. Sometimes, the truths are never revealed, and people suffer. I bet that there are many cases of people getting jailed for stuff they never did, more cases than we ever imagined. Then society will think the jailed people are the bad people, know why? Coz the press and the media brainwashed us all. Some people refuse to speak in court, why? Coz innocence is so difficult to prove. All it takes is just one itty bitty thing to prove you guilty. What can you prove if you're innocent? You didn't do anything, and you have nothing that can be against the crime because, well you have NOTHING to do with the damned crime.
Sigh...What's done is done...I guess... I can't really do anything about it...Just..Tolerate.
I'm sorry, Tan Jun Yup.