I feel like crying. My heart is bleeding, My soul is wilting. Yet i can't cry, because cheery little Angela will be affected. I don't want her to worry for me, because only one person should, and it is not her.
You know when you put in so much effort to get to your destination, with visions of your destination being the paradise you're looking for... You think that you put in so much effort, and this effort should pay off... You set off, went on your journey. You gave all you had, whatever you have, you spend it on this journey... Yet when you reach there, all you see is..... Pain. And nothingness. A barren land where people thirst and hunger... You cannot turn back. This is the paradise you've been working so hard for. Your life depends on it. And you can never turn back. Just like you can never turn back time... How do you feel?
Imagine you have a seat. That seat has your name on it, and you are appointed to be seated beside the person who appointed you, as the side wing, somebody of a good amount of importance. But then, everytime some other person comes, you're kicked out of your seat, and another person comes along and sits at your seat, even having attention from the appointing person showered upon that idiot. And you're only allowed to sit when there are no other people entertaining the appointing person. How would you feel?
Or imagine....Imagine if you're.... Me. Imagine, if the person you loved the most, the one you gave so much for, the person you dun mind letting him use you... Imagine if this person showers his attention to the other opposite gender he knows. Imagine seeing this being written by him:
"I feel really really really really really lonely right now.Miss you. A lot.Sigh.I tried so hard, for so long...Here I am, left in silence.And I just might give up fighting for my right to live soon if I don't get anything other than despair in my life."And realising that it ain't meant to be for you. Then, seeing a reply from the other person:"I'll be with you, in your dreams, if not in mine. Not even a your [text removed] can erase those memories from my head, [text removed]."If you were me, how would you feel?Imagine you wrote numerous letters to the one you loved most. But you never get any replies. Your questions are unanswered, and everything returns to normal, as if the letter was never written. You think your sweetie is busy with work. And you understand. "Must be tough," you thought. And you never get any replies. You understood. But only eventually realising... that he was busy... not with his schoolwork... but busy with another letter to another girl. And this letter, was intended to be 20 pages long. (though now 17) Then, how would you feel?
Through all these disappointments, you still loved him. Loved him like these things never happened. "It's alright," you thought, "I still love him. Really, I still do." You tried to be happy for him. You see his smile, and your face lights up. He's happy, and you are too. You hoped things will turn out fine. Because you know you still love him. Yes, you really do. But only to find out later that he isn't appreciative at all for your faithfulness. How would you feel?
You have given all for him. Loved him. Loved him like no other. Love him even if he disappoints you greatly. Love him even if he took your things without your permission, read your private stuff, lied to you for so long. You forgive him. And you still love him.