Not exactly hate... but it's just this frustration that surfaces quite often these few days. Being ignored, and all that. Especially being ignored. There were times when I really wondered if people can actually see me... Am I invisible sometimes? No, I'm really not being sarcastic in anything here. I have this feeling sometimes that people just see right through me. Like, I'm invisble or something. Then I look down at my hands and see myself, so it's like, weird. I don't know why people can just miss me like that.
Not only my friends, even my parents. Sometimes at home, I can call them or something, like, "Mum!" And she doesn't even reply. Not even a, "Oi...?" or "Ah?" I mean, how difficult is it for anyone to produce a sound from their voiceboxes? Minus those that are unable to speak. Feel so hurt and dejected.
Or sometimes around school I call out to people or just wanting to ask them a question, they don't hear me at all. I call and call but they never take note of me.
haizz.
Does anybody know how I feel? Anybody understands me?
I'd really want to befriend anyone who understands this feeling I have. Does anybody feel the same, anyway?
Anyway, I'm nothing special. No special skills, no talent, no specialty, nothing. I'm a average, but below average girl. In a sense that because I'm just like any other gap filler, I'm nothing else. the buffer for the community. I am really really lucky to have Jun Yup who loves me.
You know at school they always say that everyone's special? That's rubbish.
I'm not special. Even my mum, whom I have developed in and who had given birth to me 17 years ago, cannot answer my question, "Mum, is there anything special about me?" She just stood there, paused for a moment, before saying, "Erm..... I don't know....Umm...."
Forget it la. If there was something special about me, it would have struck you already.
And Kevjumba said something that was really quite true.
Some guy asked him about his grades at school and his reply was.
For American kids, A stands for awesome. It means you did great, fantastic. B means you're good. C means you're average. And D means you're not doing too good. F just means, you failed. That's it.
As for Asian kids (He's an Asian.), A does not stand for Awesome anymore. A, stands for AVERAGE. B becomes BAD. C stands for Crap. Your parents are probably gonna spank you a few times and stuff like that. D stands for DEATH. Your parents are probably gonna threaten to throw you out of the house, stuff like that. And F, stands for ****ed. You're basically screwed.
So well, yea. It's quite true.
Gosh. Feel so sad and emo now, you know. Sms ratio's like about 2:1 or 3:1... Which isn't good at all. Because I only have half the amount for a month and I end up sending more. Haiz. People these days.