Last night I had a scary. but beautiful dream. I actually have a meimei in there, a real one... a little sister... and i went all out to save her.
today was overall a... not so good day. Went to the doctors to get the corn checked. Even the doctor cringed when she saw the corn. She said cannot pull la, if not it will be damn pain and will bleed and get infected. So she gave me this medication thing, that stinks. Lol. Rented the Music and Lyrics VCD this week. Stardust is still out. Hafta wait.
Went home to watch it, then went online. Chatted abit, but it didn't turn out so good because... the feeling just isn't there, you know? Like people are talking to you because they HAVE to as part of common courtesy? There was only one person who genuinely bothered to talk to me and understand, and no, it's not Jun Yup. I want to thank that person.
After that, decided to drop an sms, which gave me a really bad time, actually. Well, someone said that he only cared for his other friends, who were friendly and interesting. And implying that I am not, that I am hostile, boring, and irritating. I mean, like why would any friend say that? It was really hurtful to me, and irresponsible of him to have even said that to a friend. He stated that I should be self-sufficient and not tie him down. Well, of course it did hurt. I did cry throughout the whole sms conversation thing. Obviously, he didn't know. I could not be bothered to tell him that I'm crying, due to the fact that he most probably would not care. And it's not that I don't trust him, I do. But through past experiences, he never really did care if I cried or not.
So I got so hurt, I just hurt him back. At this point, I would like to say that nobody would be able to really save me from death. And if you are my really close friend, the most you could do is to stay by me, and give me a reason to live on for you. That is the maximum you can do. If there was any imitation of me who required any friend of mine to fight and get injured and get so pissed and all, it's not me at all. If I am willed to die, I have to. And the only thing that can save a person from death, is willpower.
What he never realised is that it is not the first time he said hurtful stuff to me. It is not because of what he smsed me recently that hurt me. Through all these times, the various times I've been badly hurt, I endured. Endurance has its limit and when it reaches that limit, I cannot endure anymore.
Sometimes, you have to understand that when you hurt someone, someone will also hurt you back. When someone is able to endure your insults, you should know how to stop. Show a little more care, she's your best friend. It is not really fair to say that she's your best friend, then you shower more care on your other friends.
It really hurts me. I nearly cried on Friday.
But I guess, it doesn't really matter, does it...?
Telling others not to ignore the people around when you're with your best friend,
yet you, yourself, are ignoring your own best friend.
today was overall a... not so good day. Went to the doctors to get the corn checked. Even the doctor cringed when she saw the corn. She said cannot pull la, if not it will be damn pain and will bleed and get infected. So she gave me this medication thing, that stinks. Lol. Rented the Music and Lyrics VCD this week. Stardust is still out. Hafta wait.
Went home to watch it, then went online. Chatted abit, but it didn't turn out so good because... the feeling just isn't there, you know? Like people are talking to you because they HAVE to as part of common courtesy? There was only one person who genuinely bothered to talk to me and understand, and no, it's not Jun Yup. I want to thank that person.
After that, decided to drop an sms, which gave me a really bad time, actually. Well, someone said that he only cared for his other friends, who were friendly and interesting. And implying that I am not, that I am hostile, boring, and irritating. I mean, like why would any friend say that? It was really hurtful to me, and irresponsible of him to have even said that to a friend. He stated that I should be self-sufficient and not tie him down. Well, of course it did hurt. I did cry throughout the whole sms conversation thing. Obviously, he didn't know. I could not be bothered to tell him that I'm crying, due to the fact that he most probably would not care. And it's not that I don't trust him, I do. But through past experiences, he never really did care if I cried or not.
So I got so hurt, I just hurt him back. At this point, I would like to say that nobody would be able to really save me from death. And if you are my really close friend, the most you could do is to stay by me, and give me a reason to live on for you. That is the maximum you can do. If there was any imitation of me who required any friend of mine to fight and get injured and get so pissed and all, it's not me at all. If I am willed to die, I have to. And the only thing that can save a person from death, is willpower.
What he never realised is that it is not the first time he said hurtful stuff to me. It is not because of what he smsed me recently that hurt me. Through all these times, the various times I've been badly hurt, I endured. Endurance has its limit and when it reaches that limit, I cannot endure anymore.
Sometimes, you have to understand that when you hurt someone, someone will also hurt you back. When someone is able to endure your insults, you should know how to stop. Show a little more care, she's your best friend. It is not really fair to say that she's your best friend, then you shower more care on your other friends.
It really hurts me. I nearly cried on Friday.
But I guess, it doesn't really matter, does it...?
Telling others not to ignore the people around when you're with your best friend,
yet you, yourself, are ignoring your own best friend.
