Wanted to talk about life plans, but then didn't have time. Not those future job plans, but more on life plans. Life, you know, not dead plans.
So... Neither am I going to post it here. I feel rather bad to be blogging after someone goes offline though.
Today, was a funny day. It was a happy day, a frustrating day... All in one. Also one of the days where I wonder if my life plans will work.
Started out by going to church, then eating while watching Goong-S. Then Jun Yup came over, quite late. He had to leave in about 3 hours time so ya. We originally wanted to watch The Incredibles, but I figured he wouldn't like cartoons (everytime we go watch a movie, it's a cartoon. Because I wanted to watch it. Shrek 3, Ratatouille...) so in the end we watched Stardust. He didn't really enjoy it in the end so oh wells, one point down for me.
He doesn't like plums. I like plums. Another point down for me.
Here comes the cryptic part:
I feel weird today. Like, I did something I don't want to do. I think I did. I don't really enjoy THOSE moments. Not like I ever did. It's just so far from what I hope for. Not that's it's not enough... It's... too much for me. Too much for me to handle. The base isn't really too strong and it should not be going to the intermediate level yet. Not now. Too early. Very very early.
Sometimes I wished I could write a song that can express me well. I really want to write my own song. But a song on the piano does not strike the heart as much. A guitar, that would be good, but I can't play it well enough. I'm bad at lyrics. I can't even write something decent that people close to me will find it good. Even stories. Everytime I write a story, I proudly show it to someone close, and then they say that it's crap. I'm just bad. Bad at English, at writing poems, or writing a song... I really want to do stuff like that, and I really thought I could, but it was just a lie. I can't. And I'm hopeless.
My life plans... At least I hope I can be a good family member, or rather, a good mum. A model mum. That's if I ever have my family, and my own kid.
I don't know how much I've been kept in the dark about. There are many things that are kept from me, I don't know why. I am just a person who wants to know.
I feel that everytime, everyday, I'm weighed down with bad situations. Situations that require me to think before doing. Because if I don't plan properly, it would be the most embarassing situation in my life. It's that bad. Or maybe it's just me who is too introverted, a person who's afraid of everything.
Sad world.
So... Neither am I going to post it here. I feel rather bad to be blogging after someone goes offline though.
Today, was a funny day. It was a happy day, a frustrating day... All in one. Also one of the days where I wonder if my life plans will work.
Started out by going to church, then eating while watching Goong-S. Then Jun Yup came over, quite late. He had to leave in about 3 hours time so ya. We originally wanted to watch The Incredibles, but I figured he wouldn't like cartoons (everytime we go watch a movie, it's a cartoon. Because I wanted to watch it. Shrek 3, Ratatouille...) so in the end we watched Stardust. He didn't really enjoy it in the end so oh wells, one point down for me.
He doesn't like plums. I like plums. Another point down for me.
Here comes the cryptic part:
I feel weird today. Like, I did something I don't want to do. I think I did. I don't really enjoy THOSE moments. Not like I ever did. It's just so far from what I hope for. Not that's it's not enough... It's... too much for me. Too much for me to handle. The base isn't really too strong and it should not be going to the intermediate level yet. Not now. Too early. Very very early.
Sometimes I wished I could write a song that can express me well. I really want to write my own song. But a song on the piano does not strike the heart as much. A guitar, that would be good, but I can't play it well enough. I'm bad at lyrics. I can't even write something decent that people close to me will find it good. Even stories. Everytime I write a story, I proudly show it to someone close, and then they say that it's crap. I'm just bad. Bad at English, at writing poems, or writing a song... I really want to do stuff like that, and I really thought I could, but it was just a lie. I can't. And I'm hopeless.
My life plans... At least I hope I can be a good family member, or rather, a good mum. A model mum. That's if I ever have my family, and my own kid.
I don't know how much I've been kept in the dark about. There are many things that are kept from me, I don't know why. I am just a person who wants to know.
I feel that everytime, everyday, I'm weighed down with bad situations. Situations that require me to think before doing. Because if I don't plan properly, it would be the most embarassing situation in my life. It's that bad. Or maybe it's just me who is too introverted, a person who's afraid of everything.
Sad world.
