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Today's morning was spent cleaning up my baby. Ah, my beloved piano~ It was tough work, and the cloths turned black due to the dust. But it was worth it coz it is so shiny now... Has a very classy feel to it now that it's not caked in dust. Hahas.

Then spent the rest of the morning and abit of the afternoon entertaining mum. Sang while playing the piano and it was really quite enjoyable. One day I shall give my boyfriend a nice treat like this. =) He'll either like it, or he'll say my singing sucks, though I know he doesn't really mean it coz I'm NOT tone deaf. =)

Then was more chatting online... Turned up the music too, and was singing while typing and chatting. It really does a good job in stabilising my emotions, singing, I mean. But it's nicer if I sang alone coz in a choir it's different. Singing solo also allows you to do little modifications here and there.

To my dear boyfriend,
Please don't leave me... I don't wanna lose you.... Cassie loves you so very much.... =(
Don't leave Cassie...

And you know everytime I try to 'show off' some of my 'wisdom' I realise they aren't wise anymore =( I wasted 16 freaking years of my life! Collecting useless experience. But anyways, I had bad experiences when I was very young, from when I was in nursery till about sec 2. And this may have moulded me into whatever awkward person I am now. =(

Also sometimes I don't have opinions and that may be a result of that moulding. =( Coz when I was a kid in Primary school, I had many ideas and all that, but I didn't dare say them out because even if I even opened my mouth (literally, like maybe... physically opening it) teacher would say that I'm talking to my friend, which is so not true. And they're no friend coz they never backed me up if teacher anyhow accuse me. Then gradually I just don't generate these personal opinions anymore, unless it was for answering a question on paper. And that was when I learnt the art of stoning.

See, when you don't think anymore, you start stoning. I can go into stone mode as and when I want. And when I go into stone mode, I gain so much more resistance against physical impact, be it tickling, poking, pinching, punching, slapping......... I can also listen to about 5 conversations at once in stone mode and never get confused who said what. But it makes me look demented. My eyes may get crossed unknowingly O.o unglam.

Also, due to moulding, I can control my facial expressions better. And gain much immunity against jokes here and there. Like when teacher says something, and the whole class bursts into laughter, I won't. I never laughed. It's just strange coz some times I don't find it funny at all though I do get the joke.

Okay maybe I'm just weird. Hopefully I become more normal. And maybe my life would change once i hit 17... I hope if it does, it'll change to become better, and that i won't stumble all the time... Please Lord, give me your blessings...

Don't leave me....

it's 3:35 PM now on Sunday, April 13, 2008



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