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Oh dear I'm posting again
Everytime i post, expect it to be something sad.
Not like anybody cares anyway. I'm probably doing this to document pieces of shit thrown at me. Expecially those thrown by him.

My parents lock me in a physical cage, and as if that's not good enough, YOU trap me in another type of cage.
I don't understand why you never hesitate in hurting my feelings.
Do you find it fun?
Why would you let me let go so easily?
Am I worth that little to you?
Then again. I'm not worth anything.
Not in anybody's heart.
Not even yours.
You only allow me in under some conditions...
If I do stuff that makes you happy...
If I am not sad. (If I'm sad, out I go. You won't care.)
If I don't get in your way.
Somebody would kidnap me and ask for ransom,
and the most you'd give is a stupid game.
Know why? Because from what I know, games are worth more than relationship.
You don't enjoy talking to me.
You'd rather talk to some other people.
You'd rather offer help to other people.
You'd rather play your games than talk to me.
And you don't care about how I feel when you leave me alone.
The boy who said, "I'll never leave you alone."
Somehow, it becomes my fault after that.
You don't even know when I cry.
Probably laughing with your friends while your beloved suffer.
Or am I?
"Never doubt my love for you, Kia."
And this is the way you treat me.
Never doubt?
How much am I worth, to you?
When I talk to you, you'd just scold me sometime when I'm talking.
Then you know what you say?
That I caused it.
And you, have no fault at all.
When I talk like a normal person,
you said I was whining.
When I was cursing myself,
you just assume I was cursing at you.
You have abandoned me after that.
Left me alone.
As I feel my world getting colder.
Getting darker.
Are you happy now that nobody wants me?
Are you happy now that I am crying on my own while you have your fun?
Are you happy now that I can't tall to you?
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
Why do you say you love me
when you shower more attention on other people,
other girls,
other pixels?
Sorry if...
- I had screwed up your supposed Tueday's picnic
- I never (and cannot) give you what you want
- I am worth so little
- I made you think in the wrong angle
- I was 'childish'
- I was stubborn
- I don't listen to you
- You think I suck
- I am not good enough for you
- I get in your way all the time
- I am scared of being alone
- I am useless
- I wasn't a good enough punching bag for you
I probably left out loads of other stuff here.
But if you think I'm worth more than what I perceive myself to be, to you,
if you think you want to give me comfort,
and if you know what you've done,
the ways you've hurt me and said i brought it upon myself,
then come talk to me.
My pain is unbearable.

it's 5:07 PM now on Friday, June 6, 2008



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Cassandra Kiara Ng
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