Because when someone feels like it.....
Because when someone feels like it, I become from sweet little KiaKia to some warped mutant that gets in his way.
Constantly, AGAIN, being told to go look for someone else to fulfill my 'needs'. Pervvies out there, dun you think sick.
I personally think it's not very nice to tell your girlfriend that, no? Especially since a promise has been made not to say such very hurtful stuff to her?
On top of that keep being so very rude in response to genuine concern for the other party.
So here I shall state that I am being very tolerant, since I do not want to start ANY quarrel this week, the next week, and the week after the next. I am not being angry, and have no intention of using charged words, or words with any intention for emotional hurt to the other party.
Reasons being, I would be missing out on ALOT of time together with him, and also that quarreling doesn't make me happy, and also that I do not want to be hurt, and also that I do no want to lose my boyfriend.
Look to the ceiling, Cassie, take a deep breath and count to 5... Now smile. Good girl, Cassie.
Some people say that holding your breath helps in the masking of emotions, and I wonder if it really works. But... okay, it works for me. See? Cassie's not crying, right?
It's okay to be upset, I guess. And when you're upset, I guess it's also normal to be wishing that your boyfriend would make it better.
But now, Cassie has nobody to make her feel better. But then again, she usually settles these herself... Don't need to bother asking for extra comfort, I guess, unless it's offered. Those are really rare, like finding a wild four-leaf clover.
I didn't really plan what to type on this post, but hmm... Blogs are not supposed to be high school essays right?
Now, at this point, it's 11:11pm. Smiling to myself at the thought of it. 11, my favourite number, and it means so much to me. So very much. But then, at this moment, probably not. Nothing really lucky happened to me at that moment.
Jun Yup's still feeling rejective about me. Some peace and quiet he says. I guess there are some parts of his heart he still wouldn't let me know of.
If I were that mad, or so he says, the only person I'll want with me is Jun Yup. Nobody else, but Jun Yup. I'll ask everybody else to shut up, but I'll only listen to Jun Yup talk. I only want Jun Yup with me. I will yell at everybody else, but not at Jun Yup.
But it also actually depends. If Jun Yup is being ignorant about me then I most probably still feel sad, if not sadder? I mean, it's a privilege right? When Jun Yup is in a good enough mood and he will want to talk to me, nicely, lovingly, I suppose my anger will be gone very very soon.
If not, look up at the ceiling, take a deep breath and count to 5, then smile. Cassie tries to put on a smile, even if she's feeling down.
So what do you do when you feel sad? Do you cry to yourself? Curse and swear? Hide yourself in a closet? I'll probably cry and look for Jun Yup at the same time. Then probably can't find him because he doesn't want to be found by me, and then I end up crying by myself. Until much later when he finally appears and asks me what happened... I say that I have a cold.
Better than being a spoilt brat, then Jun Yup will say that I am a spoilt brat. That'd be so mean because I'm not a very spoilt brat.
Or maybe it's difficult to consider someone else's feelings when you're angry?
Actually running out of ideas soon, I'm just typing to distract myself, because Jun Yup told me to shut up and leave him alone so that he could have some PEACE AND QUIET. And then of course he said something that he shouldn't say just now, so what else can I do other than keep typing to delude myself that I'm actually typing a message to Jun Yup.
So strange, he was alright when he first came online. Then he suddenly changed and just want to kick me away, or put me back on the shelf, or whatever thing that is or how you say it as.
No, I am not trying to start any quarrels here. The objectives of this post has been stated. Somehow it feels better to be able to express the inner hurt somewhere? And the blog happens to be a really convenient place, though many be able to see it. Almost everybody who reads this knows Jun Yup, one way or another, so I guess they'll understand him enough not to go up to him and scold him or something.
Please don't scold him, alright? I don't want to shift my blog again. I don't want him to be pissed coz of my blog again.
So I'm wondering now whether I should say good night when I wanna go to sleep. He did say he wanted his PEACE and QUIET, and no doubt if I even want to tell him something it would be disrupting his peace and quiet. So I'm at a loss. Then again, if I were to wait for him to stop rejecting me like this, and stop saying that I'm hurting him (which I really believe I haven't.), then the last message he would send to me would be that he is going off. Then I will be very sad as well.
I've done like, so many things for him... So I'm secretly hoping I would slowly mean more and more to him... Not like someone disposable, or tradable, or whatever it is or whatever he is thinking I am now. Okay, then it's no more a secret now then.
Trying very hard to be optimistic and positive now. Hoping and hoping and praying that everything will be fine; that everything will be fine even before I go to bed and sleep. I'll probably have a cold tonight....
Jun Yup, please.... don't reject me this way.
Constantly, AGAIN, being told to go look for someone else to fulfill my 'needs'. Pervvies out there, dun you think sick.
I personally think it's not very nice to tell your girlfriend that, no? Especially since a promise has been made not to say such very hurtful stuff to her?
On top of that keep being so very rude in response to genuine concern for the other party.
So here I shall state that I am being very tolerant, since I do not want to start ANY quarrel this week, the next week, and the week after the next. I am not being angry, and have no intention of using charged words, or words with any intention for emotional hurt to the other party.
Reasons being, I would be missing out on ALOT of time together with him, and also that quarreling doesn't make me happy, and also that I do not want to be hurt, and also that I do no want to lose my boyfriend.
Look to the ceiling, Cassie, take a deep breath and count to 5... Now smile. Good girl, Cassie.
Some people say that holding your breath helps in the masking of emotions, and I wonder if it really works. But... okay, it works for me. See? Cassie's not crying, right?
It's okay to be upset, I guess. And when you're upset, I guess it's also normal to be wishing that your boyfriend would make it better.
But now, Cassie has nobody to make her feel better. But then again, she usually settles these herself... Don't need to bother asking for extra comfort, I guess, unless it's offered. Those are really rare, like finding a wild four-leaf clover.
I didn't really plan what to type on this post, but hmm... Blogs are not supposed to be high school essays right?
Now, at this point, it's 11:11pm. Smiling to myself at the thought of it. 11, my favourite number, and it means so much to me. So very much. But then, at this moment, probably not. Nothing really lucky happened to me at that moment.
Jun Yup's still feeling rejective about me. Some peace and quiet he says. I guess there are some parts of his heart he still wouldn't let me know of.
If I were that mad, or so he says, the only person I'll want with me is Jun Yup. Nobody else, but Jun Yup. I'll ask everybody else to shut up, but I'll only listen to Jun Yup talk. I only want Jun Yup with me. I will yell at everybody else, but not at Jun Yup.
But it also actually depends. If Jun Yup is being ignorant about me then I most probably still feel sad, if not sadder? I mean, it's a privilege right? When Jun Yup is in a good enough mood and he will want to talk to me, nicely, lovingly, I suppose my anger will be gone very very soon.
If not, look up at the ceiling, take a deep breath and count to 5, then smile. Cassie tries to put on a smile, even if she's feeling down.
So what do you do when you feel sad? Do you cry to yourself? Curse and swear? Hide yourself in a closet? I'll probably cry and look for Jun Yup at the same time. Then probably can't find him because he doesn't want to be found by me, and then I end up crying by myself. Until much later when he finally appears and asks me what happened... I say that I have a cold.
Better than being a spoilt brat, then Jun Yup will say that I am a spoilt brat. That'd be so mean because I'm not a very spoilt brat.
Or maybe it's difficult to consider someone else's feelings when you're angry?
Actually running out of ideas soon, I'm just typing to distract myself, because Jun Yup told me to shut up and leave him alone so that he could have some PEACE AND QUIET. And then of course he said something that he shouldn't say just now, so what else can I do other than keep typing to delude myself that I'm actually typing a message to Jun Yup.
So strange, he was alright when he first came online. Then he suddenly changed and just want to kick me away, or put me back on the shelf, or whatever thing that is or how you say it as.
No, I am not trying to start any quarrels here. The objectives of this post has been stated. Somehow it feels better to be able to express the inner hurt somewhere? And the blog happens to be a really convenient place, though many be able to see it. Almost everybody who reads this knows Jun Yup, one way or another, so I guess they'll understand him enough not to go up to him and scold him or something.
Please don't scold him, alright? I don't want to shift my blog again. I don't want him to be pissed coz of my blog again.
So I'm wondering now whether I should say good night when I wanna go to sleep. He did say he wanted his PEACE and QUIET, and no doubt if I even want to tell him something it would be disrupting his peace and quiet. So I'm at a loss. Then again, if I were to wait for him to stop rejecting me like this, and stop saying that I'm hurting him (which I really believe I haven't.), then the last message he would send to me would be that he is going off. Then I will be very sad as well.
I've done like, so many things for him... So I'm secretly hoping I would slowly mean more and more to him... Not like someone disposable, or tradable, or whatever it is or whatever he is thinking I am now. Okay, then it's no more a secret now then.
Trying very hard to be optimistic and positive now. Hoping and hoping and praying that everything will be fine; that everything will be fine even before I go to bed and sleep. I'll probably have a cold tonight....
Jun Yup, please.... don't reject me this way.
