As usual, some person refuse to care about my feelings again.
Not only that, he has been consistently harping on about how sucky I am. Which of course, really hurts my feelings. And too bad for me, because he doesn't care.
In addition, he did mention to me that he didn't want to see me today.
Totally oblivious to how much hurt I am feeling.

Been doing quite a good job of hiding my feelings, umm... not in front of him, though. And he still couldn't figure out that I'm sad and depressed and upset.

Today, I asked him if he'd be upset if I went overseas another time this year, and I asked him that coz I'm worried. He said that I wasn't trusting him. Obviously I do. But no, he kept saying that I don't. Is he feeling guilty or what?

So i apologised profusely in case he really did get offended.

I apologised profusely.

And after days and days of hurting me, he didn't even sincerely apologise to me for hurting me. And instead, he says I'm pissing him off. By what? By being upset.

WTFish?

Anyway, decided to cheer myself up a little, so I went to get myself a sunflower while Gel bought other stuff as well.
It's the first time I got a flower from someone. And it's me.
Been so long since I last got a present.
Today gift was totally unexpected, and I was touched.
By myself.

Sigh.
I'm becoming such a pathetic being.
Having to cheer myself up.
By doing things that people would do for me, for myself.

But that wasn't too difficult seeing how I always only had my own sleeve to cry on when I'm feeling down. How I had to wipe my tears off myself.
So strong...

Of all my good points, which are really alot... He had to think of all my bad points.
Though it hurts him, or so he says, he still does it.
Sigh, how i wished he had at least some pride in me.

There was one sentence from someone that touched me today.
That person, who had always been a good friend, though never really had heart-to-heart talks to, or sharing problems with...
That person finally felt my pain and asked,
"How could he be so mean to you..."
Inside my heart, I crumbled at that sentence.
It was so short, yet it touched me that deeply.
Yes... Why?
I dun know...
To him, I suck...
But to many others, I'm someone they like.
I don't know who to believe.
It's only one person... the one person who i trusted not to hurt me...

Yet, he did.
And he isn't admitting it.
He doesn't want to care about me.
And now I'm not important to him.

Please, just take me away.