Back from Tioman
I'm finally back from Tioman! I enjoyed the activities we had there, but lol, i guess the lodgings were just.... acceptable level ba. Yea.
It was great fun snorkelling the first time, and i definitely wanna go snorkelling again next time.... Haha. Saw many fishies and sea urchins.
Also, some great things happened between two of my friends, which is really awesome.
Today, went out with Jun Yup, coz it is our 15th month together. Ate at macs, then walked around a little. So anyways, had a nice chat and all, so i'm rather happy.
Except now I'm feeling a little weird because I'm in a dilemma. Oh wells. Someday I'll get it sorted out. How I want to feel and how I should feel really contradicts. And anyways, I dun even know how I SHOULD feel.
Blah, and my efforts have been half wasted. I seriously thought it could have left a better impression. So shitty when everytime you put in so much effort into something and others just say it sucks or that it isn't good.
Sigh. Oh wells. I'm once again disappointed in myself. I refuse to be disappointed with the other person. Besides, he's the receiver and it's my fault....
I guess he had much better things to look forward to while I was away.
What would actually happen if I were away for two weeks.... Damn that would be really scary. Then again, I really wanna go for the Nanao exchange programme. But that would mean going away for an additional 2 weeks, on top of 4 days. That would be horrendous, seeing as to how much things can change within 4 days...
I so feel like sitting on a bridge over a pond or something, dangling my legs just above the water, and feeding fishes. I like feeding fishes in a pond. They all come around me, and i give them food, and they keep me company.... And when they splash all over just to get some food, it's so cute. Then perhaps, seeing them so frolicky, i would feel better.
Why why why...... Gah.... Why is everything failing for me.... People have like, better stuff to look forward to.... Anything related to me seems so insignificant now.
Sometimes I really do understand how Theo feels, that emptiness, that question about why people are too busy to take notice of those around them, the neglect, and how he feels coz of it. Yes, I understand. He tried hard, and I do too. But it just seems like everything is drifting away....
It was great fun snorkelling the first time, and i definitely wanna go snorkelling again next time.... Haha. Saw many fishies and sea urchins.
Also, some great things happened between two of my friends, which is really awesome.
Today, went out with Jun Yup, coz it is our 15th month together. Ate at macs, then walked around a little. So anyways, had a nice chat and all, so i'm rather happy.
Except now I'm feeling a little weird because I'm in a dilemma. Oh wells. Someday I'll get it sorted out. How I want to feel and how I should feel really contradicts. And anyways, I dun even know how I SHOULD feel.
Blah, and my efforts have been half wasted. I seriously thought it could have left a better impression. So shitty when everytime you put in so much effort into something and others just say it sucks or that it isn't good.
Sigh. Oh wells. I'm once again disappointed in myself. I refuse to be disappointed with the other person. Besides, he's the receiver and it's my fault....
I guess he had much better things to look forward to while I was away.
What would actually happen if I were away for two weeks.... Damn that would be really scary. Then again, I really wanna go for the Nanao exchange programme. But that would mean going away for an additional 2 weeks, on top of 4 days. That would be horrendous, seeing as to how much things can change within 4 days...
I so feel like sitting on a bridge over a pond or something, dangling my legs just above the water, and feeding fishes. I like feeding fishes in a pond. They all come around me, and i give them food, and they keep me company.... And when they splash all over just to get some food, it's so cute. Then perhaps, seeing them so frolicky, i would feel better.
Why why why...... Gah.... Why is everything failing for me.... People have like, better stuff to look forward to.... Anything related to me seems so insignificant now.
Sometimes I really do understand how Theo feels, that emptiness, that question about why people are too busy to take notice of those around them, the neglect, and how he feels coz of it. Yes, I understand. He tried hard, and I do too. But it just seems like everything is drifting away....
