I didn't know what to put in the title, so that would do. It's sorta boring. And i think I'll really dislike CNY. I get so sick of it, you know, year after year, relatives just keep saying that I grew thinner or fatter. Old people stuffing my face full of new year food that i get so sick of eating. And of course going to Malaysia... The stifling long rides to and fro.... And the thing is I can't sleep late even in Malaysia.... Because the old people will wake up early, and then mum will, and then she makes me wake up early too... Apparently waking up at 10am is considered too late.

Sheesh. I'm sorta frustrated now...

IR's just in a mess now because Mr Yap isn't in and we're just doing what we think is correct. But the thing is we 3 sometimes got differing opinions... And then we dun really have anybody to ask. Ms Lim is leaving us... and now we have new Ms Tsan taking care of us. She's always so stressed out and all, and I dun really think she knows too much about our project to advise us. Our kiddies are definitely going to die soon...

Today was a blur of events. Mainly because I want to choose to erase the memories of today away. And that is because today wasn't what I expected it to be. CNY... sigh. But just to leave it here... Well, we had CNY celebrations. The performance itself was alright. The choir sang better this time and they had proper actions and props and more people. And Angela's dance club had put up a colorful performance with a vibrant song.

To someone, the dance wasn't as spectacular, but actually I really enjoy the dances that Angela and her team have presented for us. In my previous school, the dances we see are always so abstract, so... weird and emo and slow.

After CNY at school, a group of us went to Holland Village to eat. Then the group further split up. Some went to eat Laksa/Nasi Lemak, while some went to Swensons. I stayed at the Laksa/Nasi Lemak place with Joshua, Hao Yi, Theodore, Aaron, John, and Lennard. The heat was a killer. But it was alright. But whatever happened there is now a blur to me. Because at that moment I had a really bad feeling about stuff. Then Lennard went back to school because he forgot to submit his Biology assignment. Oh, Michelle, WeiYing, Renee, Conrad, Darren, they went to Swensons.

After we were done with our meal, we walked to Swensons to join them. I was mostly walking alone, like I didn't really exist. The heat was still killing me. Then we reached Swensons. Sat for awhile to wait for them to finish their food, before I ordered a single scoop mango. It was a horrible atmosphere as I felt out of place, really. And all I really had to talk to were WeiYing and Aaron. Theo was mostly talking to Michelle and Renee and the others, by shouting across the table coz they were that far apart. So it was a very weird atmosphere. Niichan joined us shortly after and he bought a sundae. When Niichan asked if anybody wanted the cherry, I originally wanted it but obviously got ignored... So then Theo conveniently took the cherry and ate it. His freaking 2nd or 3rd cherry I forgot.

I felt so awkward after that. Like I sort of regretted going for that outing.

And then we walked to the MRT station. Guess who I saw... While we were going up the escalator, I saw a bunch of Yr 5s and then I realised that he was in that group. Then while we were going off the escalator, one of the guys [who was in a pink shirt], kept staring at me like I was an escaped criminal. I stared back at him.

And then, I went home.

Sms-ed Aaron about the awkwardness. And he agreed, sort of. So I guess I'm not the only person feeling that way.

Although I'm in no position to say or do anything about this... Sigh. I really hate it when she pulls him on the sleeve that way and whispers stuff into his ear. And it's not really whispering, it's like, speaking really really softly on purpose. So that he has to bend down to smack his ear right onto her mouth to hear what she's saying. It's just weird. Can't she just talk normally? Sheesh.

And also how he just manages to ignore me whenever she's around. It's plain annoying.

Wished she would stay away for just a little longer.

But if it starts, then I can't stop it anymore. And that is also why my lips are closed now.

Well at least someone else has luck on their side. But I won't say it's totally luck, they did put in effort as well. And definitely more than me, because they can, but I can't. Circumstances just don't allow things to go a certain direction.

Wonder if there's a cheatcode lying around.
Nah.

And today... it was just as if... a deep black hole appears in the middle of me. It was just, weird. And in certain ways, strike some fear and anger in me. It's just wrong.