Ugh. Sick of it.
I'm sick of CNY, seriously. The repetitive Chinese music playing in the background everywhere I go just makes me wanna faint. It's like being trapped in some sort of nightmare.
Nobody's there.....
The timing of it this year is bad. Damn bad. Like what? Monday and Tuesday. Not really much of any holiday for us. First is the homework. Second, I need to go to the same place for 3 days in a row (grandma's house). Today is the 2nd day, and there's still tomorrow to go, someone please stop all these time wasters. Third, I can't sleep in. I have to wake up like super early for both days, and then the day after that, for school. Fourth, it's a time waster. There's nothing to do except eat food and play cards and waste money. When I get shipped off, I get cut off from my buds because there's no internet. Oh save me.
And anyway, I realised my parents are the opposite of who I am.
First up, Mum. She's a hermit. I'm not. She freaks out and hides whenever we go out shopping and she sees one of her friends or past friends. And when I was younger and had lesser social life, she always freaks out and refuse whenever I want to hold a party at home. Now it's sort of better because she partially understands that I am definitely not gonna be hermit like her.
Oh, and she thinks everything is dangerous. Yea yea, everything has their own risks, but that doesn't mean you completely stop doing it! If that were the case I'd have stopped breathing.
Then there's Dad. He's a slacker. Yea, he does his workjob everyday. But he has never helped with the chores ever, never bought a gift for my mum. He comes home, does nothing, and then sleep. Even on weekends. He sleeps, then wakes up for lunch, then he exclaims that he is DAMN DAMN tired, and he goes back to sleep, to wake up for dinner later. And then after dinner, he reads stuff for like 5 minutes, and then goes to sleep. WTH. That's just stupid. Oh, and he doesn't really worry about me, so much that it freaks me out. Sometimes he just thinks I'm a burden for him. He'd rather sleep than making sure I get home safe and sound. And he rather I wake up at weird hours to reach somewhere he can reach in less than 30 minutes.
And my parents are *I think* sorta weird thinking people. They believe that when a guy and a girl sleeps in the same room. Note I said room, not bed. They'll start making little people, like how bunnies make little bunnies poof out of nowhere. Sheesh, seriously. We're human, not animals. Or bunnies.
And I also dislike how Dad's being a hypocrite. He keeps telling me that fast-food isn't good and all that crap. In fact, he complains about alot of the food that we dabao. And he drinks carbonated/sweetened drinks for lunch and dinner. Wow, he thinks that's gonna make it even healthier. He'll get diabetes even faster than I got arteriosclerosis at this rate, sheesh.
Okay... enough talking about my parents. They may be the opposite of me but they're still my parents and I'm glad about that.
Still, nothing seems to be improving. The thingie is still at a standstill, still the same distance. It's sort of difficult because there's always the question of should I stay, move forward, or just walk away. But I dun think I'll walk backwards. I like it this way, though it could be better.
Maybe I'm starting to learn about certain things. And I'm more aware now than ever. Yes, after all that walking through scorching desserts without my buddy even reaching out for me. Great that I survived it. I just need some healing. And that, comes from your smile. Another expedition like that won't be necessary.
I'll be your moon for now, revolving around you, my Earth. I feel the gravity of it all, yet I'm not going to get any closer.
Nobody's there.....
The timing of it this year is bad. Damn bad. Like what? Monday and Tuesday. Not really much of any holiday for us. First is the homework. Second, I need to go to the same place for 3 days in a row (grandma's house). Today is the 2nd day, and there's still tomorrow to go, someone please stop all these time wasters. Third, I can't sleep in. I have to wake up like super early for both days, and then the day after that, for school. Fourth, it's a time waster. There's nothing to do except eat food and play cards and waste money. When I get shipped off, I get cut off from my buds because there's no internet. Oh save me.
And anyway, I realised my parents are the opposite of who I am.
First up, Mum. She's a hermit. I'm not. She freaks out and hides whenever we go out shopping and she sees one of her friends or past friends. And when I was younger and had lesser social life, she always freaks out and refuse whenever I want to hold a party at home. Now it's sort of better because she partially understands that I am definitely not gonna be hermit like her.
Oh, and she thinks everything is dangerous. Yea yea, everything has their own risks, but that doesn't mean you completely stop doing it! If that were the case I'd have stopped breathing.
Then there's Dad. He's a slacker. Yea, he does his workjob everyday. But he has never helped with the chores ever, never bought a gift for my mum. He comes home, does nothing, and then sleep. Even on weekends. He sleeps, then wakes up for lunch, then he exclaims that he is DAMN DAMN tired, and he goes back to sleep, to wake up for dinner later. And then after dinner, he reads stuff for like 5 minutes, and then goes to sleep. WTH. That's just stupid. Oh, and he doesn't really worry about me, so much that it freaks me out. Sometimes he just thinks I'm a burden for him. He'd rather sleep than making sure I get home safe and sound. And he rather I wake up at weird hours to reach somewhere he can reach in less than 30 minutes.
And my parents are *I think* sorta weird thinking people. They believe that when a guy and a girl sleeps in the same room. Note I said room, not bed. They'll start making little people, like how bunnies make little bunnies poof out of nowhere. Sheesh, seriously. We're human, not animals. Or bunnies.
And I also dislike how Dad's being a hypocrite. He keeps telling me that fast-food isn't good and all that crap. In fact, he complains about alot of the food that we dabao. And he drinks carbonated/sweetened drinks for lunch and dinner. Wow, he thinks that's gonna make it even healthier. He'll get diabetes even faster than I got arteriosclerosis at this rate, sheesh.
Okay... enough talking about my parents. They may be the opposite of me but they're still my parents and I'm glad about that.
Still, nothing seems to be improving. The thingie is still at a standstill, still the same distance. It's sort of difficult because there's always the question of should I stay, move forward, or just walk away. But I dun think I'll walk backwards. I like it this way, though it could be better.
Maybe I'm starting to learn about certain things. And I'm more aware now than ever. Yes, after all that walking through scorching desserts without my buddy even reaching out for me. Great that I survived it. I just need some healing. And that, comes from your smile. Another expedition like that won't be necessary.
I'll be your moon for now, revolving around you, my Earth. I feel the gravity of it all, yet I'm not going to get any closer.
