I finally got down to rubbing my bruise coz it hurts much less now. But it's very obvious now sighs.

Tomorrow is gonna be a long day. Today wasn't really that fun. Term 2 actually isn't that fun, because it's just exams and more exams.

Ms. Bay just said something funny today. But I think she's being terribly nice by allowing Theo to have his way almost all the time. In the end, only my group went to type the names on her computer. Zzz... i really wonder how she feels. I mean, yea we do joke with her and all, but does she ever get pissed off? Or like, angry and complaining about us to the high-ups?

There's Calculus again tomorrow. 2 hours of it. I am so sick of calculus.

I feel like giving up, again. It's really no point working for something you know just won't come. But since I've started it, I guess I can continue with it. Maybe if the fates decide to be nice, they'll reward me in the end. If they don't, so be it. Seems like it's going to be a tiring time for me now.

Smile, Cass. You know he needs it. Or does he?

Actually I'm quite sad with the stats project. Realised that among the three people, I've got the lowest marks because of the personal reflections part. Overall, I've got one mark lower than Theo and Aaron. Sorta have that sinking feeling. Yea, I did a lot. Watered the seeds when Theo just couldn't be bothered to go up to water them with me. Wrote most of the report, spent $1.40 printing the report out. Handed it up. And what, I get one mark lower. Yea, just great. Excellent.

[Shit. Bruise is hurting now without me touching it.]

"I'll never hurt you."

That's what I see and hear, everytime I look at that face of his. Yea, he won't. He won't. Even if he did, I wouldn't know, would I? After being stabbed and sawed so frequently, do you think I will ever feel the pain of a pin prick, or a paper cut?

Losing it. Oh man, I am... I know I am.

Didn't get a seat all the way from Commonwealth to Kangkar. Seat on the purple line was robbed, twice. And also on the LRT. Yea... oh wth.

Drank pearl red tea, which cheered me up a little. For a little while.

I need to settle Tioman soon. And I really hope those people will confirm their attendance with me like, NOW.

I miss a warm embrace. Being away from it for so long, I'm finally feeling the cold in my bones. Wants a hug. But not gonna get it.

Who's going to be there to tell me that everything's gonna be fine? O_o

No, it's not fine. I'm working hard, I'm not getting anything. I don't expect anything. I desire something, someone even, but it doesn't mean I'm gonna get it. It doesn't matter. I'm just grateful I don't have to continue taking all that nonsense. Don't have to devote myself to someone who never turned an eye to me. I now see someone who turns to look at me. Occasionally, a smile, but that's sufficient. At least, there's some happiness.

Put our past behind us, is that alright? Is it really better to forget the past? Afraid of hurting, afraid of being hurt. Yea, I think that's what we are now. And I'm quite sure you've been through more than I have. And that's alright. You have me. Always.