I'm really at a loss right now. Somehow, I just wished I had a gift of reading people's mind. I wished I could know how certain people are thinking. I'm pretty tired of walking into dead ends over and over again. Maybe it's a false dead end or something, but every dead end yells at me to give up.

I want to keep walking. Keep going until I find and obtain what I want. But time is running out and I'm slowly losing energy. There's this asymptote in the friendship, at least for now. I'm flying so close to it, yet I can't cross it. I want to, I really do. Be something more than who I am now, and to be able to progress in that way. Others have been successful in that, why not me? Why can't I?

It's not like I haven't been putting in enough effort. I've done more than I ever have for just one person. I've shared more than ever with this one person. Yet I see no progress. I'm still flying near the asymptote, and no, not being able to cross it. Will it be another dead end? Should I just take people's advice and give up?

When has anyone ever done something like that for me? Bought me a gift for no reason at all? Really cared when I was upset? Truly liked me?

That of course, does not apply to my girl friends.

Just wished my life was simpler. Just have someone who I can devote my resources to, my care and my concern, and receive the same in return. Because I know I can trust in that one person.