I really am breaking apart. Failing from the sudden overload of work and stuff to settle. Shutting down from thinking of solutions to solve them with. Breaking down from trying to solve them.

I'm feeling uber depressed today.

What's worse, I have nobody to talk to. Nobody who is willing to seriously just try to understand me for who I am. My closest friends are too busy doing their own things, too busy to even stop to listen to or understand me. What appears to be my closest friend now.... Never bothers.

Everything that is bugging me now has something that has got to do with Gamelan, except for one. And why Gamelan? All of those are related to the fatso, except one. That one involves Mario.

Tomorrow is going to be a hell of a day. I fear tomorrow. I hate tomorrow. I just want to fall asleep tonight, and wake up on Sunday. I don't want to face tomorrow.

My iGoogle has been providing me a forgiveness phrase everyday, so I've decided to do this. And leave it like that for a few days or so. It's the only chance I'm providing now for an apology. If not, I will never talk to whoever is involved again. Not even if it was in real life.

Someone who doesn't talk in MSN... I will never talk to in real life. What is the point of blocking someone on MSN and then try to communicate in real life? It makes no sense to me.

It was frustrating today that I was forced to say something. I don't even know why I should be bothered.

But I am so stressed right now.

I might have to go for the chemistry special module crap. I don't want to go. I want to be done with Chemistry this sem and just get away from it. I want to do internship, and I do not want to be stuck in school doing stuff that I do not enjoy. I don't deserve to spend my last few months in High School suffering.

I cry.

Daniel keeps absenting himself from school. I bet his attendance is going to be like, 60 or 70%. Everytime I want to find him, he's busy. Or he's too tired. I spend one hour trying to tell him something, and only managed to get him to the introduction of what I was going to say. Someone I can talk to, not.

And there's nobody else.

I'm suffering alone, again.

I might be happier like that. But then again, I am not happy at all. No, I don't miss you at all. I just miss company.

What I crave though, is more than just company. But then again, I almost never get the things I want in life.

For a change, I want to matter to someone, and to have someone who listens and understands.

I don't want to get yelled at anymore. I can't take this anymore.