I didn't really play my Sims today. Didn't have much time to. I spent most of my day playing Tales of Vesperia. I think it's a very inspiring game, because there is always progress and achievements, and you know, they work as a team and all. The story is really nice too. For once I feel like I can do something.

Isn't a really fascinating day today.

Somehow learnt that people don't change. Or at least, some people don't change. I guess that's fine because I don't have to deal with a certain someone anymore. I wished that part of my entire life history can be deleted.

Though my childhood was me growing up in a harsh outside world, I would not want them to be deleted because I can say that they have moulded me into who I am today. Yes, I am much tougher than some people out there, definitely much tougher as an only child at home. I have learnt that nothing goes well, at least for me, and all I can do is wait for something really great to happen. I have been screwing up all the time, and I now know that one way or another I will screw up.

But I want to delete that part of my life history, because I don't really learn anything from it. I have only learnt that there are people out there who are assholes. Worse, incorrigible assholes. As though I haven't been screwing up, that part of my life just tends to be a long term screw up kind of thing. If I had only known this would happen, I would never have started it in the first place. No, actually it wasn't really me who started it. I just enabled it.

I am very sure those times could be spent on doing something that can benefit me now, rather than waste it all on something, or someone, so not worth it. That time there wasn't worth anything, and I gave it so much. Now I can't get them back. I rather give it to someone else who deserves it more.

Because you've been nothing but a jerk who takes everything from me, yet not giving me anything. What was basic wasn't even there, and you just used me. What a jerk.

See, I wished I could just forget every single shit about it so I won't have to type such stuff on my blog. Now I've hurt someone, but I guess this is reasonable for the amount of hurt I have received from this person.

I can feel you slipping through my fingers. Please, don't go away. I need you. I miss you.

I just wished you were here with me. I'm lonely. And I think of you all the time.