I spent most of my day today looking for Sims 2 mods and add-ons. In fact, I spent so much time that I completely give up trying to play Sims with those add-ons after that. Just sat and read 'Devil May Cry'. It's a very interesting book. At least it does soothe my inside a little, and for just a little while I tend to forget what hurts.

Played on the Xbox360 for a little while before I had to go shower.

Then, went to ate at Sakura with my family. This is the first time my parents have been there and they're thrilled. I was happy as well because the food there is good and I love it.

Went home and played Sims for a little while, before I had to quit the game for a meeting on MSN.

Nowadays I realize that MSN isn't my concern much anymore. When I'm on the computer, logging on to MSN isn't one of the first things I do. It just has no purpose now, you see. Well, there is nobody to look forward to, and I'd rather not disappoint myself logging on and hoping that at least someone would want to talk to me.

Are dreams only dreams? Or do they really tell you something? For me, I just hope that dreams are just dreams.

Sigh, I feel more alone now than ever. I feel like…. I'm depressed.

I look at the people around me and I feel like the lousiest person ever because they always have someone to talk to, unlike me. The rest are just people who don't really care about the people around them, or those that feel that there are other things more important to them than friends are.

Some of my friends are just my friends. A small group of them are my good friends.

Some of my friends are my friends because they want to get close to someone else. They think I don't know, but yes, I do know.

Some of my friends are my friends just because they know I can be their listening ear.

But all I need is one friend who will walk with me, no matter what. A listening ear; and a shoulder for me to cry on. A friend who tells me I mean everything to them. To this friend, I am special, not just another friend.

Nowadays I don't cry anymore. I just feel my insides decaying. Because even if I cry, no one will come.

How I wished, that someone would.