I am too freaking lazy to tell you people about the Tioman trip, so please, if you want to know the general flow of events, go to Angela's blog. Also, her facebook photos have a good collection of photos from our trip. Thankyouverymuch.

I am getting pissed with life. Things always screw up, no matter how hard I try to imagine and hope and pray that they don't. Even if I'm optimistic, it's so bloody obvious that things just fail, that they screw up and never ever go my way. No matter how you look at things, it's still a screw up that I'm still unable to have any progress with one of my best friends. It's still a screw up when you see me working a few times harder than some people to get what I want, and in the end I don't get anything. It's still a screw up when you really give it your all and people say that you just suck.

It is definitely still a screw up that I loved someone who didn't exactly love me. Still a screw up that I gave up so much for that kind of love.

My childhood was a screw up thanks to one Primary school teacher who never realized her simple actions hurt a young soul, and put the poor child through so much misery throughout her entire primary school life. Secondary school screwed up because I wasn't popular. What kind of shit reason is that?

And then when things started to look up in my new school, big screw ups like those happen just to make me love and hate my life.

And yea it is good when people confide in you and turn to you for advice. It shows that they trust your judgment enough and all. But what if they get so obsessed with asking for your help that they just ignore you when you require help from them?

And sometimes it just hurts when you're trying so hard to be successful in something, and then they come to you to evaluate their success in the same area. Like how I am now struggling to show someone that I am trustable and that I care, and then my friend just comes and asks me to read their chatlogs. Just so I can see that someone they like… likes them back or something. It's just so screwed up.

And there is also someone who used to come to chat with me, asking me for tips on how to make his girlfriend love him back. And the best part here is that I'm his ex-gf, and he is asking me about his new gf (who also broke up with him). Yea, thanks I feel oh-so-good telling you how to love your NEW girlfriend. YEAH RIGHT. It freaking hurts my feelings.

I am so sick of trying to drift along to stuff like that.

I am also so sick of not being able to push for what I really want. Sick of luck not even being on my side. Sick of always having to work so much harder for something that everyone else can obtain at a snap of the fingers.

Things should just freaking go my way sometimes. Just give me a chance to be happy can?

Wahlau.