In the past when I screw up I'd batter myself to death, cry my eyes out, choke my throat sore, sniff till my nose falls. Not anymore.

Whenever something hits me, punch me, or kick me. I just feel the impact of it, tear a little for the impact, and after that I'm still standing.

Perhaps I'm too used to people attacking me for things I never did, too used to people insulting me, too used to people shoving me around.

The best thing to do is to keep quiet, let them batter me, spit at me. Cass just gonna take all of it in.

But anyways, it did hurt, and I remember how it hurt. It hurt so bad, so bad, that I won't want to let others feel such hurt. Unless they really deserve it, even so it's just letting them have a taste of how bad it will hurt.

So I guess it is dangerous to bottle up feelings. Because there will come a time when you can take no more, and everything, all those pent up frustrations, will come out. And that will hurt the people around you.

I spend those bottle-up times thinking if it will hurt others or not. Or maybe if it is even worth my own happiness?

Damn, forget it la. People are just freaking complex creatures that sometimes have too much mind of their own.

Look at the animals, all they do is kill, eat, sleep, make babies, and die.

Wouldn't life like that be MUCH simpler?