1. Get into a good American university, or to find a boyfriend in Singapore and study at NUS.

2. Have a male prom date. Someone who I don't mind going with.

3. Rid myself of problems and be happy for myself.

4. To not be lonely.

5. Reach 100 subscribers on Youtube

You know, there are loads of things in the past that I would like to change. But even if I have the powers to go back to then to change it, I suppose nothing can change, because at that time, I didn't choose to take the path that has led me eventually to today.

Just because of one person's discrimination and influence, I've been stripped of any opportunity to develop any talent or potential. And it is also thanks to that person that I have become a person who is lousy at speaking, or voicing opinions, for fear of getting a slap across my face.

To some people in my level, the school life here sucks. No outings, more homework, more studying, no life. But to me, my current school life is the best so far. I'm finally given the opportunity to become an official student leader, a PSL. But then some guy had to go close it down because it was doing so well. In this school, I had friends who saw my presence, and who waited for me while I do a little stuff here and there.

These are things that never happened in my previous schools.

But I still fail to develop any talent or potential at anything. I'm just, nothing special. Even when I tried to mean much to a larger group of people, the verdict is still the same. Cass is nothing special. Nothing good about her, nothing worth looking at.

As if that wasn't bad enough, there was this dude who constantly told me about the things I suck at. When I try to express myself through the use of stories, poetry, or songs, all this dude says is that I suck, that I am not capable of any good piece of work. This dude never fails to tell me I'm nothing special, and when I work hard, all he says is that I never did any work. And when other people came into his life to remind him of the things I did through their own ways, those other people are deemed to be more useful, more everything than I am.

So to this person, you know who you are. Please just stop putting me down like that. I want to be someone with an identity, so please don't say such thoughtless words. Yes, we all know you are special, but that doesn't mean you can just go around treating me like shit.

A shoutout to Theo, thanks for organising the BBQ.

I have just realised that I haven't had any form of physical comfort for almost a year now. I really wonder how I actually survived that. Oh yes, I remember, I was just really sad and was made to wake up every morning feeling the same way I did the night before.

Come to think of it, I never really meant anything much to anyone, maybe except Gel. It's quite sad coz then there is no point to life anymore. *takes razor and places to wrist*

Wait, you didn't really think I'd do that, right?

What, you were hoping I did?

Why thanks, dude. Thanks. *sarcastic*