So... I missed the last Astronomy session on Friday. I actually thought of going, but was so sleepy, I couldn't keep my eyes open till that late. But another reason was because I didn't know who was going. Plus, my parents wanted to pick me up, you know how rare that is? So I didn't go.
But it doesn't matter, I guess. I would have collapsed if I went and probably end up in the sick bay. Or on the floor, only realizing it the next morning.
Anyway, prom is coming up. I'm partially scared, and partially looking forward to it. That's because it is probably the one and only prom I have, and you know... my tendency to screw up is... high.
It was lonely today because I didn't receive any messages for me. I was lonely yesterday because nobody replied my all important message of who was going for astro.
I don't really get why people don't reply to questions as significant as those. Even if I am on an sms limit, I would still reply to such questions. Unless it is a request for me to do something that I am unwilling to do.
Alright, I'm complaining again.
I really don't get why God made the world to be unfair. Or like why is it even programmed for people to have the ability to cause hurt or harm to others? Yet everybody wants to be happy, to get all they want.
People who try to make the world a fair place are usually those that lose out in the end, and those that cheat and scam and hurt others get all the good stuff. I would like to think that that was what it was meant when it was said that it is difficult for the rich to enter the kingdom of God.
Because those that are good at heart, although they will lose out in this world, will receive eternal life in the kingdom of God.
I choose to be more just that unjust. I guess.
But the thing is that there are many others who just use your qualities to their own benefit, and in the end they don't really care if it is really fair to others or not. They just chose not to take responsibility.
As for me, I don't see very much hope in myself. Which is sort of sad. And it was because of all the unjustice that has been done onto me. I used to still hope that things are definitely going to get better, that one day I will be seeing very much less of these sort of unjustice. Sorry, but my patience has been wearing thin, and my hopes and dreams have been crushed by the many people out there who has harmed me in any way, or treated me unfairly in any way.
I don't even know why I had to meet all these weird, kiasu, very unjust people, for the past 18 years of my life. And then lost very much all I had to all these unworthy people. Eventually leaving me with so little I don't even want to risk, and have to die to protect.
Great job, world.
