I was partially sick today coz I woke up with a sore throat. Coughed and coughed, but only little bits of phlegm came out. You know how that feels right? It sucks. I rather have phlegm that comes right out. At least it doesn't irritate my airways/throat.

Despite having a sore throat, we still went to have dinner at KFC. Coz it's mother's day. Had a zinger, and it was really filling somehow. Went to visit the clinic, and there is a lot of people there. Weird, coz usually there won't be that many people.

Facebook is such a pain nowadays. I am finally experiencing the consequences of not being in the higher averages of the group. At NUSH, I suck, I really do. My results are really bad, and I'm not in any recognized leadership group that the school is proud of.

But the thing is, like all the others, I have dreams and goals. Interests and passions that I want to pursue. Life goals. The school teaches us to fly, and tells us not to worry, that even if we can't fly, we can still float higher than others out there. So I try my best, though now I say that I could have tried harder. In the end, it is my fate to be unable to fly.

I cannot fly, and I float just enough to keep me upright. I see so many of my friends flying, flying so far away. Some of them being where I want to be. I tried so hard just to barely float. I hate myself. If I could fly... Only if I could.

I think life is really unfair. There are so little chances and opportunities available at any one time, and so many people vying for that chance. Yet somehow, only a lucky few get it. The world is unfair in the sense that people who manage to grasp one opportunity will then find it a whole lot easier to grasp another. And then the people who never get the chances, will then find it increasingly harder to find another.

Because you see, as people grow older, the society expects more from them. By age 16, you should have been a president of a club, or a CCA, or undertaken any leadership position. By age 18, you should have gotten an internship, or participated in a research project, or something like that.

How many presidential positions are there? And the fact that, having the word 'president' on paper, on record, is going to be a big deal.

I could be a Peer Support Leader once. Just for the school to close it down. And it will never ever be labelled as a leadership board. Then that means that I have never been a leader anymore. What about when Mr. Lee told me that I was to be the treasurer for PSL? Nothing of that sort because he told me that after investiture. I was working as a treasurer but that all went undocumented.

And Singapore is like that. No paper, no talk. So to the public, for what they care, I was never a leader.

(That makes my blood boil.)

So not only do my results suck, now I don't even have any leadership positions to back me up.

Another thing, you may be damn talented in music and arts, but if you don't do sports, you're lousy. I was confused when I was typing in stuff for scholarships, and they only asked to list sports activities and competitions I have been to and won anything.

I was like, WTF? I sang in a choir, and got a Gold with Honours. Does that NOT matter? I was with Gamelan when they got their first silver in SYF, does that NOT matter as well?

I don't get why things are like that. Why is the world so damn unfair?

I may have a lot of confidence in myself, but the world sees nothing of me. So what's the use?

I have wings too, you know? And they can work as well as others. Why do you not let me fly just because I haven't been in the spotlight? If you give me the chance, I can fly as high as the sky's limit. But if you don't, I can never fly again.

People, it's time you gave chances to those who need it more. Qualifications are one thing, but you need to let others spread their wings as well. Don't ground others just because they aren't as shiny as the others.

You need to put color into their lives.

I want to fly.

Will you give me the chance to?

Will you help me?