It's a tough thing. What makes someone valuable to another? Is it skills, talent, usefulness, personality, character, moral values, physical appearance, or what?

Everyone wants to mean something to someone. I am no exception. I want to have someone to live for everyday, someone who will be happy just to see me there, happy to see me smile. And I would be important to that someone.

I don't want to have to work extra hours every single day, just for someone to like me because they can just use me to cover their leaves and MCs.
I don't want to have to do something which I absolutely hate just for someone to find me important.

Isn't there just THAT someone on this Earth that can be happy just by me being me?
And where is that someone because I need you now.

What about my parents? Okay, seriously, they don't really care. All I have to do is spend within their limits and they can't be bothered. I can yell and scream and ask for them... Dad doesn't even care, he just tunes me out. And Mum just sleeps through everything.

Imagine next time when I have some emergency. Let's say I choke on something and can't breathe. So I will make lots of noise, flailing to attract someone's attention. Then Dad just plays his Bejeweled, and Mum just tells me to shut up.

Just great. I will just die in that situation. (Unless I can do the Heimlich Maneuver on myself)

I don't know who reads my blog exactly, but if you get sick of reading this, just know that this is my blog, and I post anything I want. My blog is the only way to get my frustrations out because there is nobody who I can talk to anytime. I think anybody would be sick of listening to me rant about the same issues. But trust me, I am doing all I can to change the situations I am stuck in right now. I don't need anymore of you guys telling me to shut up because I already have nobody who can fully understand the situation, and that leads to me having nobody to talk to.

You know I can't have a night where I can sleep easily. I hate and am sick of the fact that I wake up to an empty home every morning. I wake up and immediately I'm alone. This is my home, and I am all alone. The aircon in my room is never cold, because it's already freezing cold at home. I sleep late every night because I don't want to wake up to a brand new lonely day.

I come home from work to yet an empty home.

I wait and wait for my parents to come home. And when they do, they are so absorbed in that DAMNED channel 8 show. When that is over, Dad goes to surf his internet, and Mum falls asleep in that cursed sofa. I call for her and she never replies. I wake her up and she tells me to piss off. So I get in my room and wait, again. Then she comes in after like 11.30pm. And she pretends to be interested in my life but actually she just wants to fall asleep on my bed. I took a photo to prove it, but I'm not going to post it here because I don't want to come to my blog and see that scene I absolutely hate.

Obviously I'm ranting here. Obviously I'm very frustrated and angry right now. And I obviously need a miracle in my life. Right about now.