A junior telling me to grow up? Fate really has a hobby of screwing my life up. Yes I understand that I can't please everybody, but what greater insult can there be? Despite my faith and trust that this dude would one day start to respect me as a person, after like, damn, 3 years, he is still one that thinks he's greater than me.

Let me tell you now that I am sick of this. And I never want to talk to you ever again. I'm sorry but there is no friend I have that disrespects me the way you do. You and your disgusting behavior is what I never want to experience again.

Not only that, a friend who never saw me as one. Damn fate. Going away without saying goodbye, and returning without saying hi. You are really regarding me as a disposal piece of thing, and I do not appreciate that.

A few things I pride myself upon, is that I have a reason for doing whatever I do, and that I am constantly aware of myself and my emotions. I rarely lose myself at the spur of the moment, and those times I do, I am aware. I am also a keen observer. I calculate my every move, and every single possible scenario plays out in my head whenever there is a choice I have to make.

But fate, you always come and screw things up. I don't think there's a problem with my estimation. But when I calculate a 99% success rate, you always come and give me that 1%. What's your problem? Can you go play with other people? Seriously!

In life, we can't always get things we want. But it's another matter if we always don't get the things we want. What my life taught me so far, is that this world is a lonely one. It doesn't help that there are people in my life who can't even see me as a person. That luck is not important is bullshit. When you realize that you never get lucky, not once. Especially when you needed just that small bit to accomplish what you've saved up for. That being accountable to someone else is what one needs to survive. If I were only accountable to myself, I would have stopped living a long time ago.

And to be quite honest, I am really disappointed with my life as it is right now. Where there is laughter, I know that an equal amount of upset or more is going to appear. When you realize that you can never do anything well.

At the small corner of the world, I curl myself up to protect myself from hurt. Probably because I can't take it anymore. I just want to stay there and do nothing, because I don't want to see how ugly everything will turn out to be. If I did nothing, if I just stayed, I would have enjoyed one more moment of peace.