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Busy times
Scamp prep is going to be quite hectic for the next few days.

I'm feeling kind of exhausted from all the thinking I've been doing.

Everyday, I think of how I can be a better version of myself. How I can be a better person, someone more important to others, someone more useful to others, someone that cannot be gone. And everytime I think about it, I just can't see to know how.

I can't make everyone happy and thus, nobody is perfect that way. I am only a single person, and I can't be with two groups of people at one time. So one group might think I was being anti-social and avoiding them and all, while the other group enjoys my company and think I'm a great buddy.

As for my other half, I can't make him happy the way he wants me to. Physical appearance-wise, I am who I am, my face is what it is right now, and that's just how I am. Dressing up, I have my own preferences and what I am comfortable in and what I am not comfortable in. Somehow I have to give up all these to be a more preferable me for him.
I'm already stepping out of my comfort zone for this and other things, but when I don't like something I really don't like >.<

Then, I just suddenly feel so lousy. Like I can't accomplish anything. Like, even if I wanted to be a better person, I just can't. Then I find myself thinking why can't people accept me for who I am? Why can't they just see my good points and stop harping on my bad points.

Maybe I don't have any good points. At least, any good TANGIBLE points about myself.

):

Just want to be myself.

it's 12:55 AM now on Sunday, June 12, 2011



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Cassandra Kiara Ng
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