Plain lost.
I just had an argument that lasted an entire day.
It all stemmed with me trying to explain how I feel about things, and it all turned out to be an argument that lasted the entire day. I was so tired, and really could use a day without such interference. And even though I wanted to think that it was a happy day, it is still this stupid fact that made my day really bad.
Achilles won many prizes, and we were an overall 2nd place for Best OG. Well done, Achilles. I am proud of you. Keep up the good work, and keep in contact with each other for a long time to come, like your senior Dryads are.
I would have been ecstatic and declare this day a happy day, if not for that argument.
Can't believe it lasted one whole day, and he refused to understand or comprehend anything I said. There are those people who are really insistent and self-centered that they find it so difficult to understand others or make a compromise.
I'm really tired from all the effort I'm putting in. Tired because I'm really trying very hard, yet not really being appreciated. When I'm down, I have him telling me that I'm being ridiculous and him acting like he can't be bothered. Yet when I'm at my breaking point, I'm constantly told to talk to him if I'm sad. I really don't know what to do anymore. I can't talk to him when I'm sad yet he tells me to.
Expectations. I can't meet. Even if I did it won't be sustainable. I'm using up so much energy right now just trying. I wanted to convince him so badly that he shouldn't be expecting so much from me, because it really is too much pressure for me to take. Not only that, having that high an expectation will only bring about disappointment.
Hell. I don't know how he can be two different people in real life and over text. It just really confuses me because I'm troubled by the fact that he is nice in real, yet so hostile without me in his line of sight. It is already an obvious sign of 'out of sight, out of mind.'
If life were that tough for me, I'd rather admit that there wasn't a place for me here from the start. I don't want to force my way through life, working twice as hard as others to get the same returns. I'd rather be gone and let the world continue spinning its own course, than force myself to be part of it.
I want some understanding and compromise. I want people to be aware of my needs and keep them in mind. I don't want people to see me as someone who will do things from them, and then they do not need to do anything for me. It's true that there is no true altruism. But I really hate it when people just take me for granted.
Perhaps what I've learnt from my past has made me weak yet strong. In the sense that, of course, I can be harsh and firm and solid... But in actual fact, it's becoming such a bother that I just had enough of being picked on, being taken for granted.
Confused now. Can't find it. I just keep hoping, just keep wishing. Trying hard not to let myself break again.
It all stemmed with me trying to explain how I feel about things, and it all turned out to be an argument that lasted the entire day. I was so tired, and really could use a day without such interference. And even though I wanted to think that it was a happy day, it is still this stupid fact that made my day really bad.
Achilles won many prizes, and we were an overall 2nd place for Best OG. Well done, Achilles. I am proud of you. Keep up the good work, and keep in contact with each other for a long time to come, like your senior Dryads are.
I would have been ecstatic and declare this day a happy day, if not for that argument.
Can't believe it lasted one whole day, and he refused to understand or comprehend anything I said. There are those people who are really insistent and self-centered that they find it so difficult to understand others or make a compromise.
I'm really tired from all the effort I'm putting in. Tired because I'm really trying very hard, yet not really being appreciated. When I'm down, I have him telling me that I'm being ridiculous and him acting like he can't be bothered. Yet when I'm at my breaking point, I'm constantly told to talk to him if I'm sad. I really don't know what to do anymore. I can't talk to him when I'm sad yet he tells me to.
Expectations. I can't meet. Even if I did it won't be sustainable. I'm using up so much energy right now just trying. I wanted to convince him so badly that he shouldn't be expecting so much from me, because it really is too much pressure for me to take. Not only that, having that high an expectation will only bring about disappointment.
Hell. I don't know how he can be two different people in real life and over text. It just really confuses me because I'm troubled by the fact that he is nice in real, yet so hostile without me in his line of sight. It is already an obvious sign of 'out of sight, out of mind.'
If life were that tough for me, I'd rather admit that there wasn't a place for me here from the start. I don't want to force my way through life, working twice as hard as others to get the same returns. I'd rather be gone and let the world continue spinning its own course, than force myself to be part of it.
I want some understanding and compromise. I want people to be aware of my needs and keep them in mind. I don't want people to see me as someone who will do things from them, and then they do not need to do anything for me. It's true that there is no true altruism. But I really hate it when people just take me for granted.
Perhaps what I've learnt from my past has made me weak yet strong. In the sense that, of course, I can be harsh and firm and solid... But in actual fact, it's becoming such a bother that I just had enough of being picked on, being taken for granted.
Confused now. Can't find it. I just keep hoping, just keep wishing. Trying hard not to let myself break again.
