15 Minutes to post this
Alright, I only have 15 minutes to write this before I shut down my computer and go to sleep. Tomorrow will be quite a scary day since in the morning I'm going to look for the scariest prof/dr in DBS. Wish me luck. I should also be prepared to receive lots of negative comments.
Haihz.
Having one of those moments where I just feel like sitting by the road and do nothing but watch the world go by. The kind of feeling where you just don't know what else to do or say, and don't know what you are. It just doesn't feel right when things happen where you just wanted and needed something yet the other person isn't caring.
I wasn't even asking for anything major.
So I went to Malaysia for CNY again as usual this year... And along the long drive there to grandma's house, I've been thinking a lot and always end up finding some pattern in my life.
Priorities.
I realize that the people that matter the most to me, or rather, those who should be... Never have the equal amount of priority as I do for them. Men, especially.
1. I may be my Dad's daughter but he'd rather spend time with his sports than spending time with me. Somehow to him I'm just some wikipedia-in-person, and whenever he needs some help with technology, summon me to do it for him.
Not only that, when he refuses to help my mum with anything at home, my mum gets pissed with me instead and I end up having to do whatever he said he'll help mum with. Some of them including maintenance work which are supposed to be a men's job.
2. Him. 'nuff said. Try as I may, there will always be something or someone more important than I am exactly, right exactly, at where I plan to meet him.
Which leaves me distraught and disappointed today. To add on, I end up feeling like some tool to the world. Makes me wonder if people do remember my presence at times when they do not need me.
If they only remember me when they need me, or when they need my entertainment, it's a really sad life to live.
I wished, sometimes, that people will stop getting angry with me for the things I don't or can't do for them. Or don't sarcastically say 'forget it' or 'never mind' to me whenever I can't do something for them, as if I owe them something.
I wished that someone would always remember me. And would be glad to come spend some time with me and talk to me to know about me as a person, rather than a tool.
And in this situation, my current one at this moment, I wished that Leonard would come for our Science Club Reunion. Not just a 'try', but a 'sure I'll be there'.
Haihz.
Having one of those moments where I just feel like sitting by the road and do nothing but watch the world go by. The kind of feeling where you just don't know what else to do or say, and don't know what you are. It just doesn't feel right when things happen where you just wanted and needed something yet the other person isn't caring.
I wasn't even asking for anything major.
So I went to Malaysia for CNY again as usual this year... And along the long drive there to grandma's house, I've been thinking a lot and always end up finding some pattern in my life.
Priorities.
I realize that the people that matter the most to me, or rather, those who should be... Never have the equal amount of priority as I do for them. Men, especially.
1. I may be my Dad's daughter but he'd rather spend time with his sports than spending time with me. Somehow to him I'm just some wikipedia-in-person, and whenever he needs some help with technology, summon me to do it for him.
Not only that, when he refuses to help my mum with anything at home, my mum gets pissed with me instead and I end up having to do whatever he said he'll help mum with. Some of them including maintenance work which are supposed to be a men's job.
2. Him. 'nuff said. Try as I may, there will always be something or someone more important than I am exactly, right exactly, at where I plan to meet him.
Which leaves me distraught and disappointed today. To add on, I end up feeling like some tool to the world. Makes me wonder if people do remember my presence at times when they do not need me.
If they only remember me when they need me, or when they need my entertainment, it's a really sad life to live.
I wished, sometimes, that people will stop getting angry with me for the things I don't or can't do for them. Or don't sarcastically say 'forget it' or 'never mind' to me whenever I can't do something for them, as if I owe them something.
I wished that someone would always remember me. And would be glad to come spend some time with me and talk to me to know about me as a person, rather than a tool.
And in this situation, my current one at this moment, I wished that Leonard would come for our Science Club Reunion. Not just a 'try', but a 'sure I'll be there'.
