Umm... There is just so much in me I want to express but can't.

For once, I wished I had a friend I trust enough to sit and listen to me talk about everything for 5 damn hours. A friend who will understand me and stay by my side (and not run away), someone who isn't judgmental about me, and someone who will be on my side in matters.

Right now, just feel like giving up. How many times have I been taken for granted in my entire life. And in the end, it's the person I trusted the most who stabbed me right where it hurts the most. Did to me whatever would shatter me as a person.

I really hate how I worked so hard to save my relationship with Leonard, and he just cooly chucked it like it was nothing to him. It meant the world to me, and he disregarded it... I think I'm kinda hurt. Even the biggest asshole I've seen (sorry if you know who it is and you're the person, but that was how I thought of you after what you've done to me) knew to save the relationship even when I suggested to leave. He at least gave due respect, and showed how much he treasured it even though he abused it several times.

Once again, I'm sorry I'm making comparisons here. But there is no way I am going back to the previous dude, and I was honestly appalled at the current circumstance.

I never felt more unwanted than this, and never felt betrayal that deep ever.

Let me state again okay, Leonard never attempted to save the relationship ever. In fact, after he went to lalaisland, he has been actively trying to get rid of me.

And some of you people out there think like selfish idiots do by saying I deserve being upset like that. Honestly, I freaking treasure my relationship. I'm not fickle, and I just want to have ONE that lasts. I don't give up on my relationship easily because it is never easy for two people to come together, and it should never be easy that you make a decision to end it. If you never attempted to save it, I'd say you're an asshole and karma would get you eventually and it'll hurt thrice as hard in the future.

I did whatever I can, to the extent where my welfare was neglected on his part.

The hurt comes from how much Leonard disrespected all these. And I'm seriously disappointed in him. I didn't want to think of him as an ass. In fact, he was the bestest while he still stayed where I was. But then, after he went over and started on one of his school camps. Everything changed against my favour. And needless to say, that sucks like hell.

And my anger, seriously. I can't even explain it. Just imagine a whole paragraph of expletives if that helps.