Trust can be broken
The fragility of friendships.
It can't be explained better than through the past week's experiences.
Because of work, I could very well have lost 3 good friends. Some of them changed, and some of them are behaving very negatively. With regards to that, I have a lot to say, to explain, and the clarify. But there never seemed to be an appropriate time or even opportunity to do that. This is especially true when they are not receptive in the first place, in addition to how everyone expects me to shut up and keep everything to myself.
I guess this would have not happened if in the first place everybody was more receptive and accepting. On my side, we really took in what was being said. But when things needed to be clarified or when a false statement was being presented, there was not once where the other party tried to listen to us speak to better understand. It was told to us that a session like this is for better communications, but from what I see, it wasn't really the case.
When someone gives up in the first place, what we can do now is to actively hold on to what we have. It doesn't help when the other party is so adamant on not cooperating. We always have to play the nice guy because somehow it becomes our responsibility. Disrespect form them starts to kick in and that was enough to shatter whatever friendships were built over the course of one year.
After that, none of them came back to us. Nobody talked, and there was nothing we could do about it. I personally feel disappointed in them, felt like we meant nothing to them. I took it personally because I had once trusted and respected them, and I expected them to behave maturely and thought for the greater good instead of for their own emotions. I wished that a certain someone would rein his emotions in then, and act like his position placed him to be. It wasn't a good thing at all hearing about how you would do whatever pleases you and nobody can stop you.
Then I lost another.
For that, there was no good reason at all. There wasn't a valid reason as to why this person behaved in a certain way that upsetted me to the depths of sadness. It wasn't easy that I had to deal with this every couple of weeks, trying to give it the benefit of doubt and in the process forgoing my own feelings. I wasn't very happy at all. Trust was chipped away over the span of 6 months, and I couldn't fix it when damages came to harm it ever so often.
It was taking up too much of my energy trying to rebuild a trust that was continually being chipped off. And one day, I just couldn't take it anymore.
International Women's Day woke me up. Although not an extreme feminist, but I do believe that women deserve to be treated well and they have whatever rights men have. If I wasn't treated well, then I don't have to put up with it just to placate a guy. If I cared for his feelings, then he should do the same for me. Doing any less would be disrespecting me as a person, and disregarding my feelings. Women are not bitches to be pushed around. They are fully capable of standing on their own.
(Random fact: Humans do not need males for reproduction. Two nuclei from two egg cells (from women!) can be fused together in a lab and implanted. A baby can be made that way.)
It hasn't been an emotionally easy week.
But I thank all my friends who still stood by me at those times of low. Some more than others. At least, I could place my trust in my fellow members and all those random jokes I hear everyday serve to remind me that I am still living a normal life despite being hurt.
It can't be explained better than through the past week's experiences.
Because of work, I could very well have lost 3 good friends. Some of them changed, and some of them are behaving very negatively. With regards to that, I have a lot to say, to explain, and the clarify. But there never seemed to be an appropriate time or even opportunity to do that. This is especially true when they are not receptive in the first place, in addition to how everyone expects me to shut up and keep everything to myself.
I guess this would have not happened if in the first place everybody was more receptive and accepting. On my side, we really took in what was being said. But when things needed to be clarified or when a false statement was being presented, there was not once where the other party tried to listen to us speak to better understand. It was told to us that a session like this is for better communications, but from what I see, it wasn't really the case.
When someone gives up in the first place, what we can do now is to actively hold on to what we have. It doesn't help when the other party is so adamant on not cooperating. We always have to play the nice guy because somehow it becomes our responsibility. Disrespect form them starts to kick in and that was enough to shatter whatever friendships were built over the course of one year.
After that, none of them came back to us. Nobody talked, and there was nothing we could do about it. I personally feel disappointed in them, felt like we meant nothing to them. I took it personally because I had once trusted and respected them, and I expected them to behave maturely and thought for the greater good instead of for their own emotions. I wished that a certain someone would rein his emotions in then, and act like his position placed him to be. It wasn't a good thing at all hearing about how you would do whatever pleases you and nobody can stop you.
Then I lost another.
For that, there was no good reason at all. There wasn't a valid reason as to why this person behaved in a certain way that upsetted me to the depths of sadness. It wasn't easy that I had to deal with this every couple of weeks, trying to give it the benefit of doubt and in the process forgoing my own feelings. I wasn't very happy at all. Trust was chipped away over the span of 6 months, and I couldn't fix it when damages came to harm it ever so often.
It was taking up too much of my energy trying to rebuild a trust that was continually being chipped off. And one day, I just couldn't take it anymore.
International Women's Day woke me up. Although not an extreme feminist, but I do believe that women deserve to be treated well and they have whatever rights men have. If I wasn't treated well, then I don't have to put up with it just to placate a guy. If I cared for his feelings, then he should do the same for me. Doing any less would be disrespecting me as a person, and disregarding my feelings. Women are not bitches to be pushed around. They are fully capable of standing on their own.
(Random fact: Humans do not need males for reproduction. Two nuclei from two egg cells (from women!) can be fused together in a lab and implanted. A baby can be made that way.)
It hasn't been an emotionally easy week.
But I thank all my friends who still stood by me at those times of low. Some more than others. At least, I could place my trust in my fellow members and all those random jokes I hear everyday serve to remind me that I am still living a normal life despite being hurt.
