If only feelings and emotions were that easy to control.
How I wished I could just tell myself, BE HAPPY! And then I'd be happy. Yet, this is never the case.

People fall into sadness more easily than they become happy. And it's not even a joke. I don't get how people blame others for feeling sad. When people become sad, there has got to be something that has upset them in one way or another.

So, I don't understand why I must force myself to be happy when I was being stood up, neglected, and betrayed. I was hurt, so I was sad. So now, I'm being blamed for it? I really don't get it. My sadness was because of the things you do and the way you treat me.

In any case!

Uhm... Yea. I wished things were that easy to control.

Sometimes your heart and your mind don't agree on certain things. Your heart gets hurt, then your mind gets sad. But what if you don't want to be sad, but your heart just keeps hurting?

Pain.
Sweet pain.

And my friends. I have so much to tell you, but in the end, I can't tell you. Because I don't know where to start.

Am I supposed to start by saying, 'Hey, I'm hurt. Someone hurt me.'
Or am I supposed to tell you, 'Save me from the pain, my friend.'
Or am I supposed to ask you, 'Where have you been when I needed you?'

I've been helping people much, that I don't even know how to help myself, or let others help me. Then again, they can't really help me... They could only offer a listening ear.

Yet there are some things that certain friends can't know due to circumstance.

I'm confused. And I'm terrified.

I feel like... I'm waiting for something that will never come.

Never...