PFFT.
Life has been moving along so far.
There are days which I am happy, and days which I am sad. Mostly, I am just soaking in the holiday laze while having activities on certain days. And most evenings and nights, I busy myself talking to people on FBChat or MSN and helping them in ways that I am able to.
I still remember those days when I did all these stuff. And get reminded of how lonely it really is. It is a good thing, I know, to be helping others with their frustrations.. But at the same time, I become a part of their past in the future which they forget. Not everybody wants to remember a troubled period in their past, and very often, they forget the people who helped them get through it.
Saw a quote today:
People say you don't know what you've got till it is gone.
Truth is, you knew what you had, you just never thought you'd lose it.
It kinda hit a soft spot in my mind and set me thinking a little. Now I guess I should be prepared to lose the people who were once close to me.
And it is these thoughts that caused me to be a little upset with life right now.
Actually this Monday I went out with Mel and Gel for some lunch and HTHT. Then headed to strictly pancakes for dinner with old buddies. I was considering whether I should attend the dinner gathering, because he was there. Thankfully, the seating arrangement was decent and I did not have to face him at all.
But once I saw him, all the rage I've been keeping low arose in me. All that hurt and all that pain, it just radiated through me and I wasn't very happy about it. People have told me to just completely block him out, on all communication devices too. I don't really want to do that. I'm leaving communications open because I am waiting for him to admit his fault, admit that he was the one who compromised us.
Unless he admits to that, my stand is clear: I am not his friend, and he is not mine.
Friends are not statuses for show. To me, a friend is someone I hold close, someone that I support and encourage. And someone who can do the same for me. I felt I've done enough for him, some even telling me that I gave him more than he deserved, and if he doesn't get past his ego and narcissistic thoughts, I can't see myself being a friend to him.
Don't say I don't give chances.
To the people who have seen me through 6 to 7 months of relationship hell, they know I've done my best. He, can't even appreciate all that, even saying that he never told me to do so for him, or if I did listen to him talk it wouldn't turn out this way.
In the first place, if he didn't want this relationship, him trying to talk me into leaving him isn't going to help much. You can't have a relationship with an expiry date - A concept he has never ever grasped.
He tried to make a deal with me such that he will come back to me IF I agreed to let him go in the future.
This is not a relationship. And I am not his life escort for you to play with.
When I saw his face during the dinner gathering, it totally ruined my entire day even though lunch with the girls was such a pleasant affair. His face is a sign of the disrespect he's shown me, the disposable thoughts with regards to me, betrayal, and everything bad in the world.
If working hard for 7 months and getting nothing in return was not bad enough, his insistence on his innocence and his thoughts that he wasn't the one who strained the relationship for us, is bad enough for bad.
There are days which I am happy, and days which I am sad. Mostly, I am just soaking in the holiday laze while having activities on certain days. And most evenings and nights, I busy myself talking to people on FBChat or MSN and helping them in ways that I am able to.
I still remember those days when I did all these stuff. And get reminded of how lonely it really is. It is a good thing, I know, to be helping others with their frustrations.. But at the same time, I become a part of their past in the future which they forget. Not everybody wants to remember a troubled period in their past, and very often, they forget the people who helped them get through it.
Saw a quote today:
People say you don't know what you've got till it is gone.
Truth is, you knew what you had, you just never thought you'd lose it.
It kinda hit a soft spot in my mind and set me thinking a little. Now I guess I should be prepared to lose the people who were once close to me.
And it is these thoughts that caused me to be a little upset with life right now.
Actually this Monday I went out with Mel and Gel for some lunch and HTHT. Then headed to strictly pancakes for dinner with old buddies. I was considering whether I should attend the dinner gathering, because he was there. Thankfully, the seating arrangement was decent and I did not have to face him at all.
But once I saw him, all the rage I've been keeping low arose in me. All that hurt and all that pain, it just radiated through me and I wasn't very happy about it. People have told me to just completely block him out, on all communication devices too. I don't really want to do that. I'm leaving communications open because I am waiting for him to admit his fault, admit that he was the one who compromised us.
Unless he admits to that, my stand is clear: I am not his friend, and he is not mine.
Friends are not statuses for show. To me, a friend is someone I hold close, someone that I support and encourage. And someone who can do the same for me. I felt I've done enough for him, some even telling me that I gave him more than he deserved, and if he doesn't get past his ego and narcissistic thoughts, I can't see myself being a friend to him.
Don't say I don't give chances.
To the people who have seen me through 6 to 7 months of relationship hell, they know I've done my best. He, can't even appreciate all that, even saying that he never told me to do so for him, or if I did listen to him talk it wouldn't turn out this way.
In the first place, if he didn't want this relationship, him trying to talk me into leaving him isn't going to help much. You can't have a relationship with an expiry date - A concept he has never ever grasped.
He tried to make a deal with me such that he will come back to me IF I agreed to let him go in the future.
This is not a relationship. And I am not his life escort for you to play with.
When I saw his face during the dinner gathering, it totally ruined my entire day even though lunch with the girls was such a pleasant affair. His face is a sign of the disrespect he's shown me, the disposable thoughts with regards to me, betrayal, and everything bad in the world.
If working hard for 7 months and getting nothing in return was not bad enough, his insistence on his innocence and his thoughts that he wasn't the one who strained the relationship for us, is bad enough for bad.
