I wonder why two people keep thinking about the same thing.

Just last night, I was thinking, how good it'd be if I could dump everything now, and migrate to another country where I can start a new life, though not totally. Also, in search of that missing thing.

Oh wells.

I hate being used. I hate being unappreciated. I hate it when people just come to me just for what they need. Gradually, people don't see me as a person anymore, just something that could use, something like a convenient store.

I start to dislike people because they make my life such a chore. I dislike them because all they see of me is just something they could use and not care about.

The first ever person I can really hate (but I just settled on neutral, and could at times see as a friend) is one who has seen me as a tool, as something they could sacrifice. Because I've put in effort, so much effort, just to be hurt and ignored again and again. They couldn't even be bothered to listen when I needed it. What they have taken from me is so much more than what they have taken out of anyone else, but yet, the amount of care and respect and attention I receive... Is so much less than what an aquaintance to them gets.

I've made a promise to myself, that I'd try not to see people around me as tools. I would not do whatever the above person does. I'll listen to anyone that genuinely needs a listening ear. I don't think it's very difficult to appreciate people for all the little things they do. Everybody needs that kind of appreciation. To feel wanted, to feel like they mattered. I just won't let the friends around me be hurt like that.

So it's just so annoying how such people even existed. And when they get hurt just for a lil bit, they make it sound like they've received the worst sort of treatment ever. When they've been doing the exact same thing to someone else for over a year. And just fails to see how people has got to tolerate them, not even giving a crap how others feel.

And I've just left the so-called mansion. That was coz i didn't want to live with people that thrive on their 'popularity'. I hate this person. And that was why I left. I hate my room, and that is why I left. I'll rather live in a hut.

I begin to notice lots of stuff happening around me nowadays. And sometimes, things just hit something in me and I feel this urge to just give people a piece of my mind. People yelling at others for odd little reasons.... I dun understand why, just because of 1 second of discomfort, you yell at someone like they spilt vomit all over your wedding gown. It's just so walaueh.

Sometimes, people in our school need to learn how to be nicer people. Especially those who've entered from Year 1. They're so blind to other people out there coz they think they're the best since they're in the so-called top school (or one of those). They totally lack this something inside them... Soemthing that makes up the chivalry in a guy, and the grace of a lady.

Of course, I can't say I'm perfect either. But still, I, at least, know how to appreciate things around me. I, at least, am not like my ex (who has hurt me so much I'm shattered). At least, I know what to not do, at a wrong time, at a wrong place.

And yes, I vaguely remember a quote from a senior.... I just sit by, and see him doing it to other people, again and again. I just hope he is done hurting other people, for the rest of his life, though I really doubt it.