I'm exercising more in three days than I have been doing for a week. Sunday I was lifting gamelan instruments and swinging pwnful mallets. Monday not too much but did carry stuff around. Tuesday which is today, carry gamelan again.
Not to mention, I had to play on the extremes of the gong stand... Pwned.
Did a slight bit of thinking today. My inner self is still in that mood. I really hope I can get out of it soon. I don't really like the feeling of it. Plus, I dun have any treatment for it. So it's going to stay till the wound closes. No stitches either, it just gotta close by itself.
It's not small, mind you.
And it isn't helping that there's so much going on right now. And the fact that there are certain things affecting me, making me move around so much it isn't really given sufficient time to heal.
I suppose there is a faster way to heal. But it is not easy to obtain.
I really wished stuff like those could be erased.
Don't really want to think about it anymore ever again... but it doesn't work like that.
Like what I told Pamela today. I think it's the most accurate answer, ever. Or a very very clear reflection. Sigh.
Simply put this was how it went,
I do miss him, but I just don't want a relationship.-If you miss him then why?-Because...it's just I miss someone being there, perhaps. But he isn't really... someone I can have a relationship with in the end. He already wasn't fully there sometime ago.And after that it was a lot of running it through my mind.
Sigh. I don't love him. I see him as a good friend.
Yea, you could just poke me, mess my hair up, whatever. Seriously, do whatever you want to me. I suppose it will make me feel better to a certain extent.
Somehow puts up an illusion that there is someone close enough to tease me.
Now I know why people punch the wall. When you're so tensed up inside, punching something feels really good. Especially when you deal a very strong blow. But punching is a bad thing, it's violence.
Now...
Where's Ty?
Sigh. It's so unfair you choose them instead of us. We did ask first.